yep its me again
been here for the last 18 months on and off and i hit a magical 107 days as a non smoker but like a idiot i puffed just 1 ciggie and yep back to being a full time smoker again.
tried to give up a few times but me heart has not been in it.......but
its now getting harder to ignore some basic facts.
my breathing is getting a lot worse now and my lungs ache more and more.
my kids tell me i smell worse than the dog.
so here i go again its been 20 hours and 46 mins since my last ciggie and i am using the cold turkey method but....
i have looked into why ex smokers go back to smoking and i feel its because we convince ourselves that its ok to have just one ciggie.
but its not ok and its easy to stop smoking but remaining smoke free is really hard, i should know because i gave up for 107 days and thought i was free and i took half a fag from an ash tray to prove to friends that my smoking habit was dead and yes it made me sick to smoke it but within 24 hours i had bought a pack of ciggies and wasted 4 months of good solid quitten work.
all day today i have wanted a ciggie but have fought back with the fact that its the ciggies making me want to smoke and its the ciggies that are making my moments feel lonely and to be fair it helps me to cut the craving down.
well will be in touch roll on 107 days and beyond.