Day 21

Morning all

Day 21 for us newyears day quitters. All names please lets see how many of us still here.

Must say really pleased I can still post this morning had a nightmare day yesterday Youngest son and partner had BIG row in the morning. THey both went missing turning phones off ect. we Found son about 11 45. But partner didnt come back till late last night ( Really really drunk) Bet he will have bad head this morning HEHE. But never smoked wanted to but was good. OFf to work now speak later. xxxxxxx

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  • I'm still here - though I don't know how long for. It is not getting easier. Everyone has said its gets easier week by week but I feel that everyday is like Day 1, I just get through the day the best I can.

    Each day I am wishing the time along as quick as possible - surely this isn't right?

    I'm speaking to people who have not smoked for months/years and they still say how hard it is to not smoke - once a smoker always a smoker I am told!

    I went out on Friday for beers (how did you get on Paul C?) it was horrific. I had a few beers and I have never found it so hard not to smoke, I had to switch to water in the end so that I did not break.

    I wanted to and would have smoked on Saturday -except that I was on my own with my son and I never smoke when I am near him.

    I just feel that it is just a matter of time before the inevitable happens and I realise I am not a quitter, I am just seeing how long I can go without one.

    Welcome to Monday morning!!!:mad:

  • Welcome, day 21 :-). Week four tomorrow :D.

    Sutty, I know what you mean. But I do think if you think about it, it is better than week 1. Or at least different. These last couple of weeks have just been dragging and dragging and dragging on. Arrgh. I'm sure that feeling also improves with time, though. I know all about once a smoker, always a smoker, but I do know a lot of smokers who have given up after a 20 or 30 year habit and manage to lead perfectly fulfilling lives where they certainly aren't thinking about smoking all the time ;). It just takes time... YAWN. YAWN. It's just a bit boring... and it also makes you feel rather boring :o (at least I feel like I've become a far more boring person, cause my brain doesn't seem to have much room for much other than the I AM NOT SMOKING / I DO NOT WANT TO SMOKE / HAVE A SMOKE / NO, I WON'T thoughts.

    I'm sure it is getting better, we are just a bit thick when it comes to realising it is. I'm sure we'll look back in a couple of weeks and see the process more clearly!

    Anyway! We now have an easier part (no weekend drinks at pub), so the next five days should be a bit better.

    Well done, all NY QUITTERS!

  • Sutty,

    sometimes when we want something we're denying ourselves we put it on a pedestal and it becomes much more attractive than it really is. What is it that you really feel smoking now would do for you? (That's not a trick question btw!) If you can tell yourself what it is that you really think you would gain from smoking it might help as then you can look at the perceived benefits rationally and decide whether it really would help or not, whether it really would deliver the advantages you think it would.

    Sorry if that makes no sense - I seem to be struggling with sentence structure today!

  • Well done Linda x x x x

    So glad you got through that! arrgghhh :mad:

    My bf walked in at about 2:30pm yesterday, hardley spoken to him and won't for ages either :mad: he knows he's a silly fool for disapearing for so long and spending too much money of the first wage packet in months when we need so many things etc :rolleyes: he won't say sorry I am a silly old fool though nope he'll just carry on like it never happened!!

    What will yours be like today? silence there too? lol

    Sutty,

    All the above is so true x x If you really think about it it isn't as hard as day1.

    Your mind has the power to make this if you think properly about not smoking and why you are here, how important not smoking is how bad smoking really is etc etc

    And stop your mind from feeling so angry you can swing this round x x x x x

    I hope you are remembering to treat yourself for your hard work, top up your glass and breath deep ;)

    We are all here together

    ~Buffy x x

  • you have to change the way you see smoking, while you hanker after one and not fight that and almost give into it you will feel bad,

    PMA! I don't know whether you've read Allen Carr but there's a lot in there that makes sense. If you see smoking as a treat or a reward - and see stopping as giving something up or depriving yourself then you will feel bad about it.

    Change your way of looking at it. You're not losing anything, you're gaining. Gaining better health, better skin, better circulation, more time with your family, more confidence, more money - the list could be so much longer. But what are you losing by stopping? Really - nothing.

    Feel proud of yourself for getting this far and try to move away from moping for something that you wanted to get rid of in the first place. :)

  • I'm speaking to people who have not smoked for months/years and they still say how hard it is to not smoke - once a smoker always a smoker I am told!

    What a complete load of rubbish! Don't listen to them!

    Sutty,

    See my previous post below!

    When people hear stories of people still thinking of cigarettes years after they quit, they worry that they will crave cigarettes for the rest of their life the same way as when they first quit.

    I personally don't think you'll ever not think about it as you'll always going to remember what it was like to smoke and the feeling you got from it.

    The only way to never think or not crave a cigarette is to of never smoked in the first place.

    The thoughts become so infrequent that the only reasons I think about cigarettes is because I think 'Oh I haven't thought about cigarettes for a while' (I see alot of you scrathcing your heads! :confused:) And of course when I'm on this forum it is hard not to think about it, but thats in a good way because I'm thinking 'I'm glad I'm not smoking anymore!'.

    Thats the only way I can describe it. Anyone very confused?:D

    You may sometimes think about, but only for a second and it isn't a crave!

    That was the sort of comment that used to put me off quitting smoking!:mad:

    Don't listen to them Sutty! You'll be fine! and it will get easier;)

  • Morning Buff

    Yea he will not speak for ever of it was left to him then say it is me giving him the silence treatment HEHE. I too wonder were he got the cash to drink he has had no work for weeks magic HEHE. off to work again speak later. xxxx

  • :rolleyes: yup same here *sigh*

    Have a good morning x x x x Catch you later x x x x

    ~Buffy x x

  • Mornin all

    I am still here day 21 and still free!

    Sutty i didnt go out on Saturday - my mate called me to say he had man flu and could we postpone so i had a night in with mrs C watching Transformers on DVD (shite but quite funny!)

    I am also worried by what you are saying and i think it sounds familiar to the reasons i always cracked in previous quits. That feeling that we are missing out on something - that some part of our life is just not as much fun as it once was. Drinking is definitely one of those times.

    But this time feels different for me - for one thing i have like minded people to talk to about it but also i have figured out a few things for myself and learnt alot from listening to people on here:

    1. Because we used to be proper smokers (not casual or social smokers) if we want to stay smoke free then we have to accept we can NEVER EVER EVER have another drag on a fag - not even one. Ever. If we do we probably will end up smoking full time again because we are on the top of a very slippery slope.

    2. Google up lung cancer and then hit images - you will see stuff you dont want to see - people who have had lungs removed ffs - and then still only lasted a few more months. Lung cancer tends to go to the brain - its a horrible way to die - i have seen it in my own family and i dont want it to happen to me. 1 in 3 people get cancer in this country - why make yourself one of the more likely ones?

    3. Smoking does nothing for you. I have said a few times the only thing a cigarette gives you is the desire to have another cigarette - thats the way they are designed. They are evil nasty little shits and the clever bastards who make them know that they are insidious - they get under your skin and are extremely hard to shake off. If you give up (and we have all done this) then you are fighting a truly epic battle with a superior force. If you win (and we will) the rewards are vast.

    4. Wanting is better than having - if you lapse and have that cigarette you will feel like shit. You know this is true. You will not only feel sick and dizzy and short of breath, your heart will race and you will stink. But after the short term effects wear off all you feel is guilt and a sense of depression that u have wasted all your efforts to date. And of course the bloody killer is that you will want to have another cigarette. And you probably will.

    5. You are saving £5 a day minimum - there are very few people on here who smoked less than 15 to 20 fags a day. Imagine what you can spend that £5 + a day on - its £2000 a year!

    6. Hbav just hit the nail on the head - you are not losing anything or missing out on anything - you are gaining soooo much! Your health, your money and a sense of achievement that only we understand - people who have never smoked would have no idea how difficult this is and people who continue to smoke feel guilty about their own habits and sometimes dont want us to quit.

    There are other reasons too but i am ranting and raving!! Sorry for the long post but i needed to get this down in writing for myself too! I am going to have a few drinks tonight before a concert so am steeling myself...

    Hope everyone has a great day - its 21 days - thats incredible.

  • Paul

    That is one shit hot post. Thank you. xx

  • Paul

    That is one shit hot post. Thank you. xx

    :eek: Linda!! shocking lol

    She's right though ;) thanks Paul x x

    I like this forum because these posts get read and read by all, not just those it's intended for.

    Posts like that Paul are very important x x

  • I said on a different thread this morning that I didn't know what had changed to get me from serial quitter to non-smoker but thinking about it what changed was how I looked at it.

    When I saw it as 'giving up' I felt deprived, miserable, like I was losing out on something - with that mindset it's inevitable that I was going to start again at some point.

    Once I saw it for what it really was - a trap that had no benefits and that I wanted to get out of - it really was much easier. I haven't given anything up, I've gained loads.

    I reckon my view of things was the only thing that changed and made the difference.

  • Paul

    That is one shit hot post. Thank you. xx

    Thanks Linda but having just read that a couple of people have lapsed its worth adding that if you lapse you just have to start again. It is human to lapse and its not the end of the world.

  • Good words (especially from Paul C) I know it all makes sense doesn't it. This morning has been easier and I have to admit seeing what other people write makes feel a bit daft for putting in my previous comment.

    BUT, I have a war going on in my head. It was friday night that did it to me, I was fine until I went out - the night was just so hard and not enjoyable because I had only one thought, I did not want to socialize, the beer tasted strange. I just wanted to go home and sleep so I could fast forward to the next day.

    A 'friend' of mine said that he would rather live 60 years enjoying himself than 70 being unhappy. Stupid quote by a stupid man but it comes ringing in my ears all the time.

    You people are all doing well and getting to three weeks without a fag is incredible for all of us.

    Whats the point of this rant. Well I knew it would be hard, I will keep trying (maybe we should hold a party after 6 months as an incentive for anyone that makes it) I have got this far and know how well I have done.

    My point is that no matter what people say, how scary the negatives are, how good the benifits are, I seem to have a part in my brain that does not care and is only thinking of the short term.

    I will carry on regardless - I just hope that you more experienced members are right when you say it DOES get easier.

  • Sutty,

    don't ever feel daft for finding this hard - it IS bloody hard. If you want to rant then go for it - it all helps. Everyone has their off days and it sounds as if the weekend were some of yours, hopefully things are turning round for you now and you're starting to see a bit more of that light at the end of the tunnel.

    As for that quote - well that only works if you'd be an unhappy smoker for years and I seriously doubt that will be the case. After a few months (and you've nearly done a whole month already!) it WILL be so much easier. So a few days of being p*ssed off now and then you get years of happy living - seems like a good deal to me.

  • Morning all

    Day 21 for us newyears day quitters. All names please lets see how many of us still here.

    Must say really pleased I can still post this morning had a nightmare day yesterday Youngest son and partner had BIG row in the morning. THey both went missing turning phones off ect. we Found son about 11 45. But partner didnt come back till late last night ( Really really drunk) Bet he will have bad head this morning HEHE. But never smoked wanted to but was good. OFf to work now speak later. xxxxxxxLindaspicer it's 6.57am and you are just off to your 1st job. :eek: How the hell did you ever find time to smoke? TEE HEE :D:D:D

    Love Josie XXX

  • A 'friend' of mine said that he would rather live 60 years enjoying himself than 70 being unhappy. Stupid quote by a stupid man but it comes ringing in my ears all the time.

    Hey mate i used to say stuff like this too - sounds cool doesnt it! Live life on the edge, leave a good looking corpse, live fast die young and all that! No thanks its all rubbish. The maths doesnt work out.

    Let me give u an example from my family - this is my mums parents story.

    my grandfather smoked all his adult life - heavily - 30 or 40 a day. He died aged 55 from lung and brain cancer caused 100% by smoking. I was 5 when he died. I dont really remember him. He never got to meet my youngest sister who was born shortly after he died. Both my sisters have now got kids. He never got to see them. He never saw us graduate from Uni, he never saw us get jobs he never say how much pride we gave to our mum. He never saw how well our mum did and continues to do in her career. He never got to see the pain he caused my mum and my grandma by dying so young.

    My grandma who never smoked is still with us today - she will be 96 in June. She is on her second marriage and celebrated her second 25th wedding anniversary last year. My sisters kids love her and call her Gran Gran. She still takes an active role in the community and enjoys her friends and family - she was out every night last week!

    Your mates example is twaddle - i would rather be my grandma than my grandpa thanks very much.

  • wow, quite frankly, THAT my friends says it all

    Thanks Boudee

    what i didnt say in fear of weakening my argument was that my 96 year old grandma is the spitting image of Yoda and about the same height! I swear its true and its not a good look. :eek:

    In Yoda accent: "But when 96 years you reach, look as good you will not!!!" :D:D

  • My nan is really little now - she's like a little pocket nan :D

    Edit: also meant to say she's never smoked, is getting on for 90 and happily enjoying her family including her grandchildren and great grand-daughter.

  • My nan is really little now - she's like a little pocket nan :D

    Edit: also meant to say she's never smoked, is getting on for 90 and happily enjoying her family including her grandchildren and great grand-daughter.

    Yeah give me a choice between shrinking and dying young - er i would take shrinking every time :D

  • There's something really cute about small old people :). Both of my remaining grandparents would probably fit in one hand now (well not quite but you know what I mean!)

    It's amazing what justifications we'll make up to convince ourselves that it's ok to smoke. The brain is a funny thing.

  • I am very lucky to have known my grandparents apart from my grandpa who died when i was 5.

    Boudee please tell me you are joking u dont know who Yoda is. If you really dont know then i am afraid we have a bit of an issue....

  • Hey mate i used to say stuff like this too - sounds cool doesnt it! Live life on the edge, leave a good looking corpse, live fast die young and all that! No thanks its all rubbish. The maths doesnt work out.

    Let me give u an example from my family - this is my mums parents story.

    my grandfather smoked all his adult life - heavily - 30 or 40 a day. He died aged 55 from lung and brain cancer caused 100% by smoking. I was 5 when he died. I dont really remember him. He never got to meet my youngest sister who was born shortly after he died. Both my sisters have now got kids. He never got to see them. He never saw us graduate from Uni, he never saw us get jobs he never say how much pride we gave to our mum. He never saw how well our mum did and continues to do in her career. He never got to see the pain he caused my mum and my grandma by dying so young.

    My grandma who never smoked is still with us today - she will be 96 in June. She is on her second marriage and celebrated her second 25th wedding anniversary last year. My sisters kids love her and call her Gran Gran. She still takes an active role in the community and enjoys her friends and family - she was out every night last week!

    Your mates example is twaddle - i would rather be my grandma than my grandpa thanks very much.

    My dad died in October aged 62 from lung cancer caused by smoking. My 2 year old son won't remember who he was and the one on the way will never know him! Shame!:rolleyes::(

  • I've been very lucky with my grandparents. I had all 4 around till I was 13, then three of them until last January.

    Boudee - google star wars.

  • I am very lucky to have known my grandparents apart from my grandpa who died when i was 5.

    My nan died 9 years before I was born. The remaining 3 all died a year after each other. 1989, 1990, 1991. I was 12 when the final one died.

    It's only in the last 10 years that I have missed them.

    When I met my wife, she was lucky enough to have all her grandparents still living. I used to enjoy listening to her maternal grandfather talking about the RAF, CB radio and allsorts. He could talk my head off for hours and i'd never get bored. He reminded me of my own maternal grandfather. I kinda adopted him as my own grandad. Unfortunatley, he died a couple of years ago.:(

  • He reminded me of my own maternal grandfather. I kinda adopted him as my own grandad.(

    My ex husband tried to do this so he had to go - I'm not sharing my nan!

  • oh the little green dude

    I see now....................................... :p

    the little green dude!!! Sigh, that doesnt really do him, justice:mad:

    watch this:

  • :eek: there is no way her ears are that big

    you havent met her...;)

  • Hi everyone. I had a very small blip on saturday night. My Husband lit a cigerette and i asked for a puff. It was utterly disgusting and tasted like shit. I dont see it as a failure i see it as my head was telling me too have one and now i have had that puff I know i dont want anymore.

    I actually feel very positive today and havent even thought about smoking.

    Well Done to everyone else xx

  • Hi Flippy

    Soooo pleased it was only a small puff It may be a good thing now you know you dont want one. We are doing really well start of week 4 2moro. xxxx

  • Linda I could have seen it as a failure but the last week or so I have been so stressed and so on the verge of smoking again that i am in a way pleased I had that puff. I have now got it out of my system and I know I am doing the right thing by quitting.

    If i start having silly thoughts again I will remember that taste and I know i wont do it again.

    Roll on our one month mark:)

  • Linda I could have seen it as a failure but the last week or so I have been so stressed and so on the verge of smoking again that i am in a way pleased I had that puff. I have now got it out of my system and I know I am doing the right thing by quitting.

    If i start having silly thoughts again I will remember that taste and I know i wont do it again.

    Roll on our one month mark:)

    Hi all you or all doing so well hang tight there is light at the end of the tunnel:)

  • Still here!

  • Hello Haza good to see your here too x x x x x

    Jane that was no blip, just positive insight ;)

    Stay strong all x x

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