I think I am going mad - Day 5

Thank you all who replied to my first post - it is a good feeling to be heard by others in the same situation.

I am still with all who stopped at New Years - it seems to be getting harder and easier at the same time.

The harder bit is that I am realising that this isn't a game anymore - I really am not smoking again and it frightens the crap out of me. This fear creates a rage in my that I have never met before. People have said that they can get a little anxious or edgy but my god...I feel like there is H bomb about to go off in my body. Yesterday some non smoker (never smoked) in my office overheard me talking about not smoking and he said "Don't know what the big deal is, just don't smoke". Maybe these are wise words but at the time I just wanted to kung fu kick him out of the window. Of course I am not a violent person so these are only thoughts but I could feel my blood boiling I swear!

Anyway - the easy part - I am getting used to this, so flashes of anger, panic and confusion are becoming less frequent and I managed to sleep for a solid 7 hours last night (first time since I quit).

No one knows I am on this forum (apart from you guys), no one knows how hard I am finding it to banish those horrible bloody things out my life, no one knows that I am so happy that I don't stink like a smoker anymore. So thankyou for reading my inane rants that probably don't make any sense at all and the words of wisdom that I pick up on the way.

I have a question though - somone mentioned yesterday that they had quit for 6 months before but then fell back in the trap. How does this happen, is it like this feeling for years??? Its been on my mind and scares me, I don't want to be going through these mind games forever.

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  • Hello and welcome to day 5. I did give up in sept for about 60 days and the reason i lite up again was because i became very stressed over my 17 year old son and stupidly thought it would help or was it i was just so fed up that i didnt care anymore. Whatever, I know now just how easy it is to go back to smoking and i know that i will only have to go through this all over again. So this time i dont care how stressed i get I will keep in my mind that smoking just dont help.

    I personnaly still thought about smoking a couple of times a day but not that I wanted to smoke more the thought of ohh look i still dont smoke.

    I really cannot tell you if it ever goes away because i have never done a long enough quit but i am sure someone will be along soon to help you on that one.

    I do know it does get easier and as the days tick by its a really good feeling to know you have not smoked for so many days.

    I think you are doing just great and i find your posts quite funny (sorry if i shouldnt) but you doing a Kung Fu kick did make me laugh.

  • Wise words from a non smoker?? I think not, bullsh** from an arrogant pig me thinks :rolleyes:

    NO!!! This feeling passes, it is not the same!!!

    week1 is awful,

    week3 is a pain because there are such long periods of not thinking about smoking it hits harder when you do.

    Month 3 is a panic of oh my never again!! but then it's easy.

    These above feelings come in lesser and lesser waves and the highs inbetween are like you wouldn't of had in all the years of smoking.

    Sleep becomes easier than ever and better than ever!

    Stresses become much smaller and a level head easier achieved than ever before.

    You will feel better than ever!!

    Going back to smoking is a foolish complacency of ha i've cracked this so i can have a fag :confused: d'uh!!

    I promise you, this week1 feeling is short lived, the feelings change into new and different ones if you see what i mean?!

  • I have a question though - somone mentioned yesterday that they had quit for 6 months before but then fell back in the trap. How does this happen, is it like this feeling for years??? Its been on my mind and scares me, I don't want to be going through these mind games forever.

    Hello

    Just wanted to say that I happily gave up for a year and a half and then started again. I guess what happened is that I got the nicotine back in me from smoking the odd soicial joint. At the time I felt as healthy as ever, and with that little bit of nicotine inside me again I played with the idea of being one of those anoying social smokers, (only when I drink type). I forgot how hard it was to quit and I naively felt like I'd mastered it. Your old smokers brain soon comes into play. This time round I know I can't dabble no matter how long I've quit for, and I can't take it or leave it.

    Always keep yourself nicotine free (as do the majority of the population) and you'll be fine. :)

  • Welcome haza x x x x

    A few of us here are in the same boat as you, quitting 'AGAIN!' :mad:

    I know what you mean , now :o , there is no odd drag, odd fag, week end treat etc this is it!! Not One Puff Ever!! x x x x

    Day6 and I'll never be back here again!!

    Wishing you strength and happiness on this last quit ;)

    ~Buffy x x

  • Hi Buff hows your day gone. Thats right was thinking I will never do week one again been really tearfull yesterday and most of today dont know if its smoking or son things are bad with him anyway day 7 almost here Linda xxxxxxx

  • Lo Linda x x x x

    Been quite an easy day but then I have been all busy again :D lol

    Arggh that bloody son of yours :( wish I could do an abracadabra thingy tomake it all right again x x x x his life is in his hands, as yours is in yours. The best you can do is look after yourself and support your family the best you can x x x x

    *hugs*

    ~Buffy x x

  • Welcome haza x x x x

    A few of us here are in the same boat as you, quitting 'AGAIN!' :mad:

    I know what you mean , now :o , there is no odd drag, odd fag, week end treat etc this is it!! Not One Puff Ever!! x x x x

    Day6 and I'll never be back here again!!

    Wishing you strength and happiness on this last quit ;)

    ~Buffy x x

    That is true for me too. I know i cannot even have a puf ever again. I cannot keep putting myself through all this.

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