When you crave to smoke and struggle to stay on top, you may find the following 10 tips helpful.
1. Pick up the telephone and pretend you're having a discussion with somebody about the benefits of installing a hot tub/jacuzzi in your/their garden. Tell them they can come round when it isn't done.
2. Keep a bag of ripe peaches handy and practice being a juice extractor by squeezing them as hard as you can.
3. Try the same thing with half a pound of butter.
4. Run up and down the stairs ten times shouting 'Look at me - I'm a squirell - I can run'. If you live in a flat - just run from room to room looking on top of the wardrobes.
5. Tell your children to be as noisy as they like and tell them that you want to join in the fun.
6. Be more noisy than your children.
7. Have a contest in the garden to see who can throw an ordinary Tescos/Sainsburys/whichever carrier bag the furthest.
8. Stick a dummy cigarette/inhalator in your mouth and hold the end of it saying to everybody 'Elementary my dear Watson' whenever they speak to you.
9. Annoy your family by taking the TV remote control and making jabbing motions and muttering at the microwave.
10. Build a tower made of Walkers crisps. Then fire rubber bands at it with sound effects.
But above all - do not smoke anything.