Day 10* Disconnected

[nsd_user663_1950]

Im feeling disconnected and ive reached the period when im hungry all the time or id love to constantly be munching on something. Im determined not to.

Im tierd alot, therse been no sun for days now and i need my sunshine cose i have SAD (seasonal angst disorder) so i get very tierd and lethargic i stare at the computer all day my eyes feel wierd and i just feel worse :mad:

I need to start excercising again, i dont have any money to start swimming which i love to do, so i guess ill hav to do something terribly boring like walking or running.

Anyways , fighting of depression , feels a bit like ive depraved myself of the quick fix that is a ciggy:rolleyes: typical

Jo.

[nsd_user663_1733]

Hi Jo

I got down a lot my self but its to do with the quit missing a friend but not a very good one so why we miss them so much I never know hehe. The tiredness also the smoking women told my partner that so he made that his excuse to have afternoon naps hehe men. Really Joe your doing so well and I know when your skint its hard to treat your self but it will be better next time you have money cos you dont need to buy fags thats when you start to see the benifits so keep going its worth it Love Linda xx

[nsd_user663_1704]

Funny that hehehe

I like swimming with the kids but not on my own i find it boring. I am much happier walking through the parks of London! hehe

It is hard not having any money, I am a pro believe me lol

If you can spend your computer time looking up local attractions, classes, groups anything (free!) and really push yourself into doing something for yourself, I can promise you have nothing to loose and chances are a lot to gain.

I know it's the same ol' thing you hear all the time, I found it hard but i bit the bullet and got involved locally and it was a real turn around for me.

I think everyone has a feel of S.A.D so i can only imagine that with the diagnoses how bad it must feel.

Please do keep in touch and grip your new life with both hands and take control x x x x ~Buffy x x x x

[nsd_user663_1950]

Thank you so much for the replys their so very appreciated.

I think im going barmy just a little bit , ive been sneazing all day but im not allergetic nor do i have a cold. It seems my throat/nose cavity is bone dry!:mad:

Im really starting to get annoyed with these silly sideeffects of quitting lol!

Anyways im on 500mugs of coffee a day so ill be alright

Love,Jo.

[nsd_user663_1950]

Yea so maybe i shuld ad that on Day 9 yesterday i had a good cry aswell..

Im feeling very emotional (damn receptors) and i want to cry a lot.

So my mother sent me a package with a pair of summer pants (pirate cut) and a top, and i tried them on when i got home and they still fit!! which means ive not gained all that much weight since i moved over here (was sure i had). Anyways

I was sitting on my sofa watching tv with bf and the i realized

My black pants are full with hair from my late cat Snuccumbs (RIP Love You Miss you )

I couldnt believe that tey were ompletely coverd in her hair, she only recently passed away we had her for 16 Years and the pants were coverd in her hair so i got panicked and ran into my bedroom and got on the laptop to watch the only memories i have of her, 2 little webcam videos of me petting her and her being happy with me

So i cried my eyes out and watched them. Then i went back into the livingroom and started to freneticly try and pick her hairs off to save them ??? um what was i thinking. Anyways in panic i desided i cant wear them cose their full of her hairs , i cant risk them falling off and ill have nothing of her (i didnt get to see her before she pased away) so i took the pants and folded them like they contained baby kittens, and packed them down into my suitcase to never be used ???

This morning though i realized im being insane and took them out quickly and threw them in the washinmachine. Cose i do want to wear them, and i know shes always in my heart, but last night it was so real!

maybe im PMSing aswell and hormones flying, but man that was a wierd episode.

Jo.

[nsd_user663_1704]

aw bless x x x

Doesn't sound that insane to me, we have our moments tis what makes us human!!

didn't obsess in the end and got a grip 'hey ho' sounds like my daily routine

Man, i swear, you got to go with this stuff, it is all part and parcel ~ it's good to.

your going strong and life has thrown worse than this! tis a piece of piss ~ if you look hard it is x x x

keep the strength x ~Buffy x