Fear of failure (again)

hello again,

As many of you know I am quitting this Sunday - when I will have taken my required fortnight of zyban. This shall be my 5th attempt and I reallywant it to be my last. Trouble is I am so worried about failing again. I guess it is fear of not being able to handle the withdrawl symptoms although I know in my heart of hearts I will eventually feel so much better for it. (patience was never my strong point) I've even read Allan Carr again but it doesn't seem to have much impact on me. I trawled the internet and found a couple more stop smoking forums (one us and one australian) however I found them to be very 'in your face' each site saying you had to hate fags and nicotine with a vengeance in order to be able to quit. I am not at all certain I can do that but I desperately want to stop smoking for good this time.

Any advice please


9 Replies

  • Heya Karen,

    I was the same hopefully this is my final quit too :rolleyes:

    I notice though, each time I do it, I try a different way having learnt from previous quits. Learn from your mistakes, try and try again and you will succeed!

    There is no reason for you to fail, why should you?

    You have loads of previous experience which gives you a head start and makes your chances of staying quit a lot higher!

    So look forward to Sunday and buy yourself a good book to start reading, buy a diary to keep or plan a walk to take anything new to help take you away from craving.

  • You will be fine with Zyban.Just believe in zyban and yourself.If you want to quit you will .

  • Oh how I remember your fear...... that "will I be able to not live even a day without a packet of fags in my bag?" fear. That knot in the pit of your stomach every time you think about it before you consider taking that step, that leap of faith....

    I was a hardened smoker - 25 years, in excess of 40 a day in recent years. They were my little confidence sticks, my calming down sticks, my reward sticks. My whole daily routine revolved around every one of those 40 delights! Did you notice I used the past tense there? It will be 7 weeks tomorrow since I kissed my last one goodbye and journeyed on through the rest of my life without them. The hardest bit was to believe in myself enough to not go in a shop and buy a packet - to believe I could get through a day without reaching for my comfort / reward / soothing fags. I couldn't do it 'cold turkey' though, I have managed to get this far with the help of Champix (I did try Zyban a few years ago, but it wasn't for me) - I think the two drugs have very good success rates, from what I've read.

    There is no wonder cure, no magic wand, but the fact you have and are taking action shows you mean business - you've found this forum, which I've found to be a really good support network (face to face in a healing circle is just not me!!), you've made your decision to quit - believe in yourself..... YOU CAN DO IT!

  • Thankyou all for your kind words.I'm starting to believe I can actually do this. I have accepted that it will not be a 'piece of cake ' at first but WILL get better

    as Buffy and shamlay say. I also want to say ta to justintime for his positive comments on zyban. I think ,as I thought earlier, that I expected this all to be done within a few days which is what made me go back to smoking before. Now I realise that like the Take That song I've got to have a little 'Patience' and not give up after a few days just cos I feel like total crap.;)


  • Morning Karen

    Good luck for tomorrow. If I can do it anyone can. I was 50 in jan and have been smoking 32 years never gone longer than a few days with out a fag ( was on 40 a day in the end) Decided to give it a shot on no smoking day and here I am 9weeks 4 days later never in a million did I really think I would get this far (no did anyone else) Now when I feel like giveing in cos i still do I think of all my bloody hard work to get this far. Come on you can do it this site as been my best aid I think we are like one big family. Be thinking of you babe show them all and if you fail you havent lost noyhing only gained by the ones you havent smoked. So come on you will be counting days with us soon love Linda

  • Thanks for the encouragement Linda. I've only just read your post as I've been at work. (people like to come to libraries on Sats as they themselves are at work during the week) It is now 5.15pm and I have 6 cigs left. Still feeling a bit nervous about tommorrow but I reckon it will become easier in a few days . At least I HOPE it will!!!! I think I really need to alter my habits you know Coffee - fag ,Ad Break - fag, crap programme on tv- outside for a fag (haven't smoked in the house since I had my daughter who's 13 now ) I dont have any particular desire for a smoke it's just that I don't know what else to do. I,m 42 and have smoked since I joined the RAF when I was 18. I desperately want to be done with cigs .


  • Indeed I always go to the library with the kids on a Saturday :D hehe

    I will be thinking of you tomorrow x x just take it easy and take it 1 hour at a time, if things get bad give yourself just 1 more hour then see how you feel.

    I suspect though, you will find it easier than you expect, because your a wise ol' mum :D

  • Kazza

    All the best - you can do this! Like all the others here I was a complete chimney head but have done over a month now - this site is the best for keeping you going and encouraging you without all the censure and patronising you get from certain quarters! The support is the best and most impartial you will get - what a team!:)

    Loopy XX

  • Good luck for tomorrow - you can do it!

    I found it really helpful to have something to do with my hands for the first few days especially - they felt very restless! So, I bought a colouring book and pencils! I know, a grown woman of 40 sitting colouring-in for England must have looked daft, but not as daft as I must have looked smoking!

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