Nightmare

Hi everyone and welcome all newcomers..

I know i've been a little quiet lately but I have been keeping up with all the latest posts most days - it's a bit like watching a soap only much better!

Really bad evening I just had to take myself out for a walk - all I want to do is cry and cry and I don't know why! (I haven't done that since I was seventeen).

Feel so low - I've got problems with my teeth which is, I suppose, what prompted the quit but apparently stress is bad for the condition (Genetic) but smoking's even worse! NHS are reluctant to offer any help and I can't afford the astronomical cost of private treatment - I'm still waiting to hear if I can get treatment at Sheffield on NHS. The trouble is I keep feeling really bad physically but I'm not sure how much is all in the mind - Do you know what I mean??

Anyway tonight I just had to go out for an hour - just wanted to be alone - and went to sit on the embankment where I thought I would be totally alone. Anyway this lad cycles past and I think no more of it. Five minutes later he comes back to see if I'm all right cos he thought I looked real sad. Obviously this just made me want to cry even more cos somebody I don't even know cares! Have you ever had your faith in human nature restored in such a way? Any way I still feel like a pile of pants but the urge to smoke has gone!

My biggest fear is the depression - I quit for seven weeks before but got so low I started again and I guess this is how I'm feeling now.

Just hope a good cry will make me feel better and hope my lovely hubby realises that my maniacal crying is nothing to do with him.

I'd better go to bed now cos I've got an early start - thanks for listening and if anyone can offer any advice it would be much appreciated.

Loopy Xx

7 Replies

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  • Heya loopy x x

    *Big hug* soz lost me emoticons :rolleyes:

    Ok 1 small step at a time ok?

    You are having bouts of wanting to cry, let me say i have experienced that during previous quits, wrong contraceptive pill, drunkeness :p and also during pregnancy! sure there has been other times too!

    I am also a real bad cryer at films soaps and news etc funnily enough all my real life traumas (i have had a fair few!) i stand straight and jump into control mode! rarely bloody cry in real life!

    point is!

    Small steps.

    Don't try and deal with too much at 1 time, write down a list of things to deal with and 1 small step towards the outcome,

    ie feeling sad - dont 'a-n-a-l-ise' (not being sarcastic! just the word got blanked by admin cos of first 4 letters!) too much! if it dont feel right phone your doctor for an appointment to discuss how you feel, then you can stop worrying and wait and see what step 2 brings after you've seen doc

    If your waiting on advice from sheffield so be it! cant do much till you know what they offer.

    The whole lad on the embankment issue is sweet! :D

    You have quit smoking, that doesn't mean that everything now is a direct result of that! your more than an ex-smoker!

    ~ x X x X x ~

    Dont drive your self mad over everything at once! break it down and deal with controlable simple steps, reward yourself for every step, a phone call, letter, email or any 1 small step towards dealing with something! reward yourself x

  • thanks Buffy

    I know what you mean about being really strong in 'real life' and falling to pieces over nothing. I get your drift though with dealing with issues one thing at a time - I'm much calmer today and will try not to worry too much!!

    4 weeks today and celebrating:)

    loopy

  • 4 weeks! :D

    Massive success there!

    What a star, well done! glad your feeling calmer too.

    Of course relaxation techniques are always good too and i love to use oil burners to relax me.

    ~ x X x X x ~

  • Well done Loopy! Best of luck with your quit- make sure you have a 'plan'. It doesn't matter what, just something to take your mind of stuff. You are making a life change so it may be an idea to change other things: a new hobby, diet, activity whatever!

    Even if you try something you've never tried before, just give something a go to help keep yourself occupied.:) :)

  • Hi Volcano and Buffy

    Thanks for the advice - I have a goal which is to get myself a decent touring bike in six months! Short term diversion involves relaxation techniques, watching tv (which I haven't really done for years - I've watched every episode of Top Gear in the last four weeks!) and coming on this site - seems bizarre doesn't it that reading and writing about the thing you're trying to forget helps you forget.

    Thanks muchly for the support.

    Loopy XX

  • Cool :D

    Lol yeah tis kinda bizarre! ROFL

    Short term diversions kinda slipped into nice new habits for me! long hot soaks, relaxation, reading and writing!

    The non smoking Buffy makes more time for herself than the smoking one!

    Great goal! touring bike that is, if it is a realistic goal then it will lift you no end!! do you keep track so you can reward yourself on saving up along the way of the 6 months?

    Keep it up your doing fantastic!!

    ~ x X x X x ~

  • Hi Buffy

    Yeah I've found more time for myself but then I'm not spending an hour (altogether) outside having cigs! The new bike will cost somewhat less than the fags did and I've already got some stashed away towards it.

    Onwards & Upwards:)

    Loopy XX

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