Planning to quit question..

[nsd_user663_1769]

Hi, I just went on a 'web search' today to find support because I really need/want to quit so bad. I found these forums and started a program on the stop smoking centre site. I have a question about 'when' I should quit...but I'll give my intro..then ask the question

I smoked fairly heavy through my teens (12 - 18) and quit with quite a bit of difficulty. I was a total non-smoker for 11 years! But at age 29, I decided to have a puff on a friends smoke just for fun, to see what it felt like after all those years... and well I have been trying to quit ever since.

I really hate myself for taking it up again, since re-starting i have changed into such a different person because of smoking (depressed, lost all of my motivation, feel insecure because I now look so unhealthy and smell bad all of the time). it is truly a horrible thing this addiction, and I feel totally controlled by it. I have attempted to quit so many times (probably at least 10-20 times a year/lasting from 2 hours - 3 months/for 3 years now) and each time is so horrible and stressful, I just can't keep doing it, I feel totally exhausted. But as much as I hate it, off i go to the store again each time!

When I quit I get very ill, become depressed and extremely emotional, cry alot and feel very angry (for at least a few days to a week), so each time I try to quit and I feel 'those' feelings coming on I panic and rush to the shop. My partner also gets quite angry with me during this time as he has quit smoking several times without any withdrawl problems at all, so I dread his reactions to my 'horror' days each time as well. He is also somewhat negative about my ability to be a non-smoker since I have 'given in' so many times.

I have to do it, not just that I want to, I want my life, my health and my happiness back! I am ultimately positive though because of my determaination and hatred of smoking, but at the same time very skeptical because I have so many failed attempts. I have to find a way to believe in myself and my ability to do this somehow. I am so thankfull for finding this site.

.... well that is my smoking tale... I really feel like I just want to quit right now, this moment, just throw them out... but I am going away in just over 24 hours for a week, and although there could be some stress, there wont be any smokers around me for that time (and no negative comments from partner)... which I think will be a big positive...the thing is I don't want to ruin this holiday for everyone (family I havent seen for 3 years) if I am feeling sick and feeling nasty. I just don't know...it is going to be difficult for me to smoke when I am there and will upset my family which is a good motivation to quit before, but I know I will be a mess for most of the week. I would also love to come home as a non-smoker (really show him up!).

should I put it off (play it safe) and tackle my quit when I return home or just go for it and hope for the best?

[nsd_user663_1704]

Hello leifang,

Welcome to the site x you'll not fall short of support here! i cant answer all your questions for you but that i Can hand on my heart, promise you!

Firstly I probably would wait till after the holiday,

1) Time to really prepare for the quit both mentally and physically. Nrt, if so what methods? Cold turkey? Alan Karr? hobbies to occupy your hands? drinking water? cash for ash jar? etc all these issues form part of your quit plan.

2) I would question my partners support, if he had me down as a failure before i start and blame me for my negative feelings rather than help and support me I would be very upset and question him somewhat. There may be some issues here that can be dealt with pre quit.

3) Pre quit visit to your doctor explaining your anticipation worries may help as the doctor can offer you necessary advice and support. You should mention everything you have said here today.

He is also somewhat negative about my ability to be a non-smoker since I have 'given in' so many times.

You have spent most of your adult life a non-smoker!

What ever your plans are the decision to quit is the major priority and that should be the core of your strength! Well Done!

Buffy x

[nsd_user663_1629]

Dearest Leifgang

You should definitely NOT try to quit for your holiday, it will be disastrous for all especially you.

You must plan your quit day thoroughly. There is a fantastic book out at the moment, my daughter bought it for me but most of it was about planning and I had already stopped but it's brilliant. You MUST get it and read it while you are away if you get time so you can prepare yourself properly.

It is called How to Stay Stopped by Jennifer Percival and we got it in WH Smiths.

Meanwhile, have a lovely holiday, forget about upsetting everyone else, it's your life, take control. Go outside for a fag if anyone hassles you and focus on your quit day.

Come back and tell all!! x

[nsd_user663_1769]

thank you for the support

and having thought about it more, yes you are both right I think I just got really exciting and a bit over-confident. I have printed out my quit program and a some motivational articles that I will take with me. It will be a good opportunity to cut back and begin breaking the habit anyway. I have set my quit day for the day after I get home (then will allow a couple of days to curl up in bed with my head under a few pillows I think!)

It was the first moment tonight that I have ever really experienced the feeling that 'yes I can do it' and actually saw myself doing it for a moment... I have such a wave of relief and happiness (and totally resisted the almost unconscious urge to light up a ciggy to celecbrate my good feelings!) Even now thinking about being a non-smoker I feel a little giddy... I actually feel excited, which is very different from the usual feeling of dread.. fingers x...

thankyou kindly again, I will hopefully return from holiday a little closer to becoming a smoke free zone!

[nsd_user663_1629]

way to go girl!!

that is exactly how I thought when I decided to quit for good. It was such a challenge and the absolute best thing for me was that feeling of guilt each time I lit up totally vanished and I now feel as if I am worshipping my body rather than killing it.

good luck

[nsd_user663_1736]

I'm hoping you will come back and join us after the holiday!

Everyone is so supporting here, it's a truly amazing site!!