i keep being angry that i have to quit. i keep looking for something to blame. i'm allergic to the new chemical that keeps the paper from burning; i have a lung infection of some sort and the doctors just keep blaming it on smoking without even looking for another possibility... maybe mold in my house?
the fact is, i haven't been able to breath for 2 months. one day i was fine and the next i know, i'm using a store bought inhaler on the hour every hour. i've been to the doctor 3 times and each time they had the same diagnosis: asthma agrrevated by smoking. a weeks worth of steriods to take down the inflamation later, three times over and i'm again in the same situation. right back where i started! they're obviously misdiagnosing me! i'm young! smoking can't affect me!
nearing the end of my third day i feel a glimmer of hope. maybe it was the smoking after all. too bad it took me two months of suffocation to try quitting... *shrugs* not that i'm ready to run a marathon or even really climb a couple flights of stairs (yes the breathing problem was that bad), but i did take a walk around the block on break today instead of smoking and already there is quite a change!
once i get over being angry that i was forced into this, i bet i'll be pretty happy it happened. i have yet to be really bothered by any serious withdrawal symptoms. a couple of hot flashes and a clammy feeling here and there. i haven't thought of smoking very often at all really, and when i do i take a walk and do some breathing (now that i can!).
good luck to everyone in this boat with me! may you find land soon!
