Hello, I am new to this group and am looking for like minded people that I can relate to.

[Loveistogivelife]

My younger and only brother is in stage 5 kidney failure. I have appointments to be sure I am free of any ailments. I am scheduled to be in Chicago for more testing, again, to make sure my kidney is healthy so I can give him one of my kidneys. It has hit me that this is really happening. I then realize that he is going though way more anxiety than I am, and I begin to feel guilty. Has anyone else felt this way?

[Hidden]

Yes I am CKD is make pressure on whole family mind more the the body of patient. If u wanna talk about anything or any question regarding disease please feel free to share here or u can contact me on my email of any query skchaursiya10(AT)gmail.com. and one more thing your brother may feel more lonely and alone that time because if really hard to heard that you are suffering from one of the biggest disease so take some courage and make him comfortable around u don't make him he is a patient

[Loveistogivelife in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[Bassetmommer]

You are doing one of the most selfless acts in the world. You are trying to give your brother his life back. Not sure why you feel guilty. Its a scary road and lots of ups and downs. I honor you for trying. Best to you both.

[CKD2-4]

Hi! What an amazing person you are for giving your brother a life renewing gift of a kidney! I think what you are feeling is probably normal. I would suggest you reach out to the transplant hospital social worker who can provide some guidance to you. Keep strong you have got this!

[Panda9122021]

I'm sure there are lots of emotions in you both during this time. My brother was all set to give me a kidney and the thought of his sacrifice was overwhelming to me. It was my misfortune to have sudden kidney failure, yet he was willing to take a part of that misfortune upon himself. In spite of my own feelings of not wanting him to suffer, I was willing to receive the enormous gift. Then fate stepped in and I got a deceased kidney instead. Blessings on you and your brother! May all go well.

[horsie63]

I understand how you feel. I'm the one with kidney failure and dialysis. My one and only brother tried but testing found he had some health issues so was not a good candidate. I know he really wanted to give me life back but I don't blame him in the least. It's a big ask/big give for anyone. Give your brother a hug.

[Loveistogivelife in reply to horsie63]

I will, thank you, I will.

[Advocate4life]

Hi! Thank you for having the courage to share your truth. What I'm hearing is that you're feeling guilty about the emotions (i.e., anxiety) you're experiencing as you move closer to surgery. First, let me say how wonderful it is that you're able and willing to provide this lifesaving gift for your brother. It's not an easy decision even when it's one we're making for the people we love and your feelings are not "less than" because you are the donor. The journey is akin to a roller coaster ride, full of emotional ups and downs for everyone involved. I'm glad you found this forum, it has been super helpful for us. My best advice is to give yourself permission to feel the way you do and know that it's perfectly normal. If you find that your feelings are overwhelming, I encourage you to discuss this with the social worker or whomever the kidney transplant coordinator team provides for support. When my husband and BIL went through the process, they were required to speak with the social worker and if I remember correctly, there was a psych evaluation that was also required. The point is, you're definitely not alone and please take full advantage of the resources that are available. We found them to be incredibly helpful. Best of luck to you both!

[Loveistogivelife in reply to Advocate4life]

Thank you so very much! I think the guilt I feel is being the eldest sibling, this should be happening to me, not him.

[ShyeLoverDoctor]

The transplant center should (I sure hope they all do!Mine did) provide you with a mentor you can talk to, someone who has donated themselves and knows what it’s like.

[Goldenlover61]

My husband is in stage 5 kidney disease and at this time only has less then 8% of his kidney that is functioning right now. He has not had to be on dialysis as of yet, which is amazing ! I was tested to become his donor and found out a month ago I am a perfect match. It is such a great feeling to know that I am going to be the one to give him life. Yes I’m scared but also excited to get this done for him. We are scheduled for surgery 11/19/24. We started this process back in Jan 24. It’s a long process but the way we look at it , it could of been a lot longer. Wishing you both good luck.

[Loveistogivelife in reply to Goldenlover61]

Will you please keep us updated on you and your husbands journey? I'm so glad I found this forum. I believe my brother would benefit greatly to find a group like this, where he can talk to other people in the same situation.

[Goldenlover61 in reply to Loveistogivelife]

I will definitely keep you posted! Good luck in his journey .

[Beachgirl32]

you are doing a wonderful thing for your brother . All the testing they do including psychological should help with your anxiety they will make sure you can handle this mentally it is a giant gift you want to do. Your brother anxiety may be what if you give him the kidney and his body reject it. I know when my daughter try I felt this way but she was not a match but she told me mom you have no choice it something I want to do I know the risk but as i said she wasn’t a match . I’m still waiting for a transplant. Tell your brother this is wholeheartedly what you want to do and you know all the risk but you are confident it all going to be ok and you know if it was reverse that it was you who needed a kidney that he would give his to you in a heartbeat . Prayers lifted for you both.

[Loveistogivelife in reply to Beachgirl32]

Thank you so much! Your advice has set my mind at ease!