Did you felt anxious about donating your kidney?

[Aslclover]

I am in the process of donating a kidney to my dad. Although I have no doubt I want to do it, I am feeling very anxious about it. Can you share your experience?

[emilia610]

I donated into the paired exchange in 2018 for my husband to get a kidney. I don't regret it a bit. I was 42 at the time. Today I am in a better shape and health than I have been since I was in my early 20s. It was painful for the first 2 days. But not the incision itself. They did mine laparoscopically and the gas they use to expand the stomach, remains to release slowly. It puts a lot of pressure and when I didnt have my pain meds I was crying in pain....so don't try to be brave like I was and deny the meds ;)I left the hospital on day 3. I stopped taking any oral painmeds on day 5. On day 10 I drove my husband to the clinic for his appointment.

The physical was no biggie for me but what I did notice was how easily tired I got, even up to two months after surgery. I work from home on the computer and I started up part time after 1

.5 weeks. I would need to take naps every now and then. It was almost as if the mental part of the work made me physically tired.

The ability to focus and being mindful was something I felt was less in the year after surgery, but it's difficult to know if this was related to the donation, since I also broke my foot 4 months after the transplant (that was soooo much more painful and debilitating than the kidney surgery) and we were going through financial stress.

I believe you can get paid leave from work nowdays if you are a doner (something that was not available to me). Make sure you take advantage of this and let both your body and mind have time to rest and process the event.

Best of luck fellow super hero. I'm positive everything will be just fine.

[cielito]

I donated nov 18,2019 in a paired exchange for my son-in-law.I am 63. The first few days I used a bed Raül to get in and out of bed but pain was not as bad as C-sections. My cut was about 4” vertical at the belly button. After 2 days in hospital I only took Tylenol but at regular intervals for about a week. I was up walking very quickly just did not have stamina. The first 4 weeks I still needed a nap everyday, but after that I began to feel completely normal. I was back to riding my horse and kayaking at six weeks. Just listen to your body. If you are in shape going in, I believe you will bounce back quickly. I hope you believe in prayer. I was covered up with it and I believe that gave me the confidence that all would be good. Tell everybody you know! You are doing a great thing!

[brdn5]

I'm just at the beginning of my process I've only done my lab work and talked to a few people on the phone.

[brdn5 in reply to brdn5]

But if you have any questions I'll try to help you answer them. And yes I feel very anxious to donate a kidney even though I don't know who it's going to

[Crocheting-Cricket]

I donated in June 2020 to my brother. We had waited 2 years and I was never anxious! It was something I was totally committed to doing and I was thrilled when we finally got the all-clear. Having said this, I have to tell you I did a LOT of research ahead of time - the more I knew about the process, the better it was. Here are 3 that were great:

youtube.com/watch?v=7tOnVyV...(Not working as expected?)

youtube.com/watch?v=Or2pcS2...(Not working as expected?)

teamshareaspare.org/recovering

And this website is excellent, too! I would totally agree with Emilia610 who responded: the incision sites don't bother you at all! It's the GAS! If they could figure out how to remove that after surgery, they'd have people lining up to donate! My biggest help was a heating pad! Putting them on my stomach was a huge help! Yes, take the pain meds and lay low. But honestly, in two weeks I drove 400 miles and was fine, and in 4 weeks, I didn't even feel like I had surgery at all! But the best part is seeing my brother become a WHOLE NEW PERSON!!! It was remarkable! But those doctors and surgeons know what they're doing and they'll explain anything you want to know, and take GOOD care of you! They also are very appreciative that you want to do this for your dad, and they tell you that all the time! Don't be afraid to ask questions and research anything at all. It just gives you more confidence that you are absolutely doing the right thing.

[Cheeseanimal in reply to Crocheting-Cricket]

Dear Crocheting-Cricket, I just got approved as a donor for my brother, and I want to thank you for sharing these resources. They were very helpful. Lori Palatnik's video, especially, was helpful to share with family members.

Just wanted to say thank you for sharing the resources!

[Crocheting-Cricket in reply to Cheeseanimal]

So happy to help! My brother and I are a lot closer than we ever were before! It's truly life-changing! Wonderful of you to do this.

[Crawfork4]

I also donated to my father. I feel that being anxious is very normal. I had no reservations about donating, but anytime you have surgery it can be nerve racking, even if it’s something you want to do. The joy I felt seeing my dad looking and feeling so much better after the surgery was worth it all. I did have a few issues after surgery, but nothing major. It did take me the full six weeks for recovery. Mostly I tired easily. It’s different for everyone. I was 49 when I donated. I feel great now and haven’t had any issues (it’s been 11 years now). You will do amazing!

[sugaMagnolia]

I gave my kidney to my mother in January 2020. While I had no reservations about giving the kidney, the actual surgery did make me nervous. Yes it hurts a lot at first. Yes you are tired for a few weeks (sometimes months). Yes it changed my life for the better, and I wish I had more kidneys to give. So many people have to watch their loved ones die, helpless to help them. I was not helpless, but I saved my mom’s life! How wonderful it feels to see her well. It is natural to be nervous about surgery, but the outcome is amazing! Good luck with your journey!

[Sulyn]

I gave my husband a kidney at the age of 64 which was 10 years ago. Yes, I also was anxious as the time approached. I used the time before the operation to get in as good shape as I could by walking each day and eating healthy. As the time drew nearer I was less anxious because the tests that I had showed that I was in good health and a good donor candidate. The operation was done by laparoscopy and my recovery time went well. I was able to go home in 2 days. Any pain that I experienced was definitely manageable. When home I needed to listen to my body and lay down and rest when I felt tired. Each day I was still able to walk and do most things on my own. I couldn't bend down to pick up things for a while. The whole healing process was much easier than I had anticipated. Wishing you the best !!!!

[TamEDavis]

This is a super helpful thread. My donation is coming up this week and it is calming to read about others good experiences and the joy of seeing their loved one thrive afterwards. I wonder how was your experience, Aslclover? It seems this post is from 2 years ago. Thanks

[laurenduvall]

I donated to a stranger in 2020, it was scary the day of, but mostly just because of nerves. I was and still am so surprised by how easy it was to do. The process of all the testing was much more than the actual event. It did hurt, it did, but not for very long. And you'll have your family around you. The scariest for me was that this was at the height of the pandemic, so I was alone. Even so, the nurses and everyone there will make you feel comfortable and safe. It's a very safe procedure, and you're doing an amazing thing for someone you love. You'll be left with a very small scar, and that's it. I think I was back at work the next week (to be fair, I do have an office job). You'll be tired for a while, but it's so worth it. I would do it again tomorrow if I could.