Adoption: is it possible?

[tas1kubra]

Hello everyone!

It has been a year that I had my diagnosis. Thanks to my stubbornness, I visited many doctors, and it is now understood that its actually not primary, but secondary FSGS.

Given that, my values are stable for the last year. Thank god!

But I have a different question to you... We are not leaning towards having our own baby, I really would not want to risk affecting my kidneys. But when I search over adoption, I get very confuse, because there is a clause states that parents should be healthy.

Well, even though I dont have any problems with daily life, and my kidney values are around 40 and stable; it does not mean that I am healthy. And I am very hopeless that it will be a problem for getting approved. Additional to that, here in Denmark, you have to go through the Family and Kids Municipality, which means that these steps are government-controlled, and they are very strict about that.

Is there anyone who has experience about adoption, while having kidney disease?

Thanks guys!

[bumblebee_tuna]

I don't know the answer but I would disclose that you suffer from CKD and not hide it.

I have Familial FSGS. I remember in my early 30s, I got upset that a life insurance company refused to insure me because of Proteinuria. I didn't feel sick and was other than that in perfect health and didn't understand why they saw me as risky.

[tas1kubra in reply to bumblebee_tuna]

neither I am thinking of hiding it, nor I can do it. Everything is already in the system digitally, so it never went across my mind.

I am working in insurance company, and its standard that they cover the situation that occur after you enrolled in the system. Their target is to serve to least risky people; so that they dont have to cover possible treatment bills in the feature.

Just for that its really good to live in Denmark. Because social healthcare is already very good.

[bumblebee_tuna in reply to tas1kubra]

Would a surrogate pregnancy have the same hurdles as adoption? I'm just trying to think outside the box.

[tas1kubra in reply to bumblebee_tuna]

unfortunately surrogate is not allowed in Denmark. I feel like everything is leading me to try pregnancy and find out if my kidneys fail. If they fail, wait for transplant. Afterwards pregnancy or adoption is okay, but its so annoying that I have wait for my kidneys to fail.

Alternatively if I wait through years, I don’t know when naturally my kidneys will fail. I might be easy be 45, then it might be hard both for adoption and pregnancy.

It’s frustrating for a nice thing to happen, I have to go through kidney failure.

[bumblebee_tuna in reply to tas1kubra]

My mom had 3 kids before she needed a transplant (I think around age 45). I am male, so no kids but I now need a transplant myself at age 50. Everyone is different though.

What I am saying is that - Having kids probably caused my mom to need transplant a little earlier. But it was going to happen anyway at some point.

[tas1kubra in reply to bumblebee_tuna]

thats my dilemma right there. I am not healthy without having kids. I am still sick. I am aware of that it will cause damage on my kidneys. But after a point I lose my patience.

Also I am very confused. Unfortunately I come from a culture that having kid is an ultimate mission of a woman. I am very angry about that, but its not easy for me to change how I feel about it in a short time. I grow up in this way. I am not sure, after everything I have to go through with, I will feel like it worths at the end.

That’s why I think adoption is the most suitable option for my long term physical and psychological health.

[nonna70]

Are there profeswsionals you could talk with in the adoption arena to help clarify your options?

[tas1kubra in reply to nonna70]

Hi, yes I have talked to professionals, and apparently they are not letting you adopt if you have kidney disease with Stage 3B. Its because of your life expectancy But our extra disadvantage is that Denmark is very very very strict about processes, and not letting people who has even slight diseases go through with this process.

[Miss-guineapig]

I can’t speak for adoption but I certainly have know people who have chronic diseases and have fostered children for many years. They keep pretty well and maintain their health as well as they could. I can’t share specifics as it was when I was working, I am retired now. Hope this helps x