Ckd hbp stage 3 lot of life change inquiry. - Kidney Disease

Kidney Disease

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Ckd hbp stage 3 lot of life change inquiry.

Yogi8716 profile image
23 Replies

Diagnosed with kidney disease stage 3 2 years ago. It’s been a roller coaster up until now. Every time I went to nephrologist different regiment to follow. Lot of life changes happened-changes in job, more responsibility, got married, moved 35-40 minutes away, I made the mistake of dropping most of my outlets which I’m trying to get back. Fall 2021 got a good report from kidney Dr and my wife and I are trying to have a family, and went into a tailspin after. I’ve been trying to get back to mental sanity since being someone with a high anxiety bubble. Last report from nephr first good report no changes since I’ve had this disease and hbp. My question is how does everyone cope with all the change and the constant adaptation with ckd and hbp. I keep falling into a stuck pattern where during the work week I’m so burnt out from the anxiousness my mind is causing it’s affecting my home life etc.

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Yogi8716 profile image
Yogi8716
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23 Replies
S_dillow profile image
S_dillow

Taking it one day at a time is how I do it .I just take what comes and adjust to whatever situation comes up.ive learned that if you don't you'll drive yourself bonkers

novemberlady1 profile image
novemberlady1 in reply to S_dillow

EXACTLY. THATS WHAT I DO TOO. I DO NOT GET ANXIOUS ABOUT THIS. I WORRIED WHEN MY EGFR WENT DOWN TO 17 AND DID NOT KNOW WHY BUT IT IS UP TO 30 NOW AND I AM TRYING TO WORK WITH MY DIET TO GET IT A LITTLE HIGHER BUT I DO NOT SPEND ALL OF MY TIME WORRYING ABOUT IT. I THINK THAT WOULD JUST MAKE LIFE BAD FOR ANYONE.

RoxanneKidney profile image
RoxanneKidney

Control what you put in your mouth and be active and give the rest to God. All you have to do is look around and see people who have more in their plate than you, so being self absorbed and making people around you miserable with your drama will only end badly. So that is how I cope ..

Grammy80 profile image
Grammy80 in reply to RoxanneKidney

I have GCA, blind in one eye, 3rd stage and a few other things....I'm also a spiritual person, but sometimes I tell God...hey, I need some help here! It truly isn't being self-absorbed I don't think when someone is overwhelmed and yet is brave enough to reach out, be vulnerable and know they need a hand.

RoxanneKidney profile image
RoxanneKidney in reply to Grammy80

I hear you. And feeling like crap isn't a license to make others around you feel like crap too. Just speaking from my own experience.

novemberlady1 profile image
novemberlady1 in reply to Grammy80

SAME HERE . LOST VISION IN ONE EYE YEARS AGO DUE TO A CLOT AND DIABETES. I AM 3RD STAGE TOO AND I AM A SPIRITUAL PERSON ALSO AND THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DO TOO.LOL. I WORKED AS AN ER RN FOR YEARS AND RAISED 4 KIDS ALONE SO NOT MUCH MAKES ME OVERWHELMED NOW BUT WHEN IT DOES I REACH OUT TO MY GOD TOO. IT ALWAYS HELPS ME:)

Grammy80 profile image
Grammy80 in reply to novemberlady1

It becomes a respite! It may calm your thoughts...or you may decide not to think at all!!!💕

Darlenia profile image
Darlenia

Hi Yogi. You're doing a good job staying on top of your kidney situation. Now is is a great time to tackle your mental status. There are several ways to do this - through medication, moderate physical activities, meditation, and more. Your supercomputer brain has taken control and is making you miserable, forcing you to "suffer today what may never happen tomorrow". It's important to recognize this and take back your power. My hubby has kidney issues (dialysis, transplant). He doesn't suffer from anxiety, but I do. I finally broke down and saw my primary care doctor who prescribed a short term medication, referred me to a therapist, and also discussed other solutions. (A favorite book of mine is the "Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It's downloadable for free.) Much of your current mindset can be interrupted and redirected. You have a great life to live with the right tools in hand. Go for it!

jodaer profile image
jodaer

lots of great advice above. I'll add talk therapy plus find a good yoga teacher, one who teaches Hatha Yoga and start meditating. That is what helps me.

Darlenia profile image
Darlenia in reply to jodaer

Yes! To all your suggestions.

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador

HI Yogi, I am confused as to who/what is causing your anxiety. If you do not know the root cause, then you can't fix it. You said you made a lot of changes. All of them are biggies. Cut yourself some slack for all of that and reward yourself for those good changes. Are things still in turmoil? Are you safe in your environment? Are there more changes coming you do not want? The biggest of those questions is ...being safe. When you are rooted in the knowledge you are safe, then like a big tree, you can bend with the wind (turmoil) We all need to be safe.

Then, look at your support group and do you have one? Of course, your wife would be primary. If she is adding to your anxiety, it is probably because she does not understand your situation with CKD. Educate her. Make her part of your solutions. Look at your friends and your activities. Do they lend to your wellbeing? Do your activities benefit you or harm you? Like eating the wrong foods or partying in any manner? Or even doing too much at a workout? Or not exercising?

Make a physical list of what is exactly causing the anxiety? Is it diet....see a dietician...is it lack of understand your specific CKD and comorbidities.....Ask questions and go to classes. See what I am saying? If you can narrow down root causes then you can work of resolving or at least taming the beast.

When I was first diagnosed, I was terrified and miserable. I join the NKF peer mentor program and talked with another patient who had similar life and CKD to me. It was great.

kidney.org/peers

As far as changes in your CKD life, I am not sure what is happening. Do you follow a renal diet and/or DASH for you HP? You need to just make that your new normal. I eat plant-based for the most part and it took some time to get used to it and now I do not even think about it. I know what I can and shouldn't eat and so does my family. It is just my life. I have been on this journey for four years. It takes time to acclimate. Give yourself some kudos for trying.

Keep asking this group questions and sharing your concerns. I can guarantee someone else feels just like you and have worked somethings out.

Sophiebun11 profile image
Sophiebun11

Hi Yogi,

Work on controlling you HTN and that will help your CKD as it is the major cause of CKD.

Your anxiety is a whole other issue. If you can't get a handle on it yourself, then try seeing a therapist, try some medications, or whatever you need to do. What you are doing isn't working so you are wise to realize you need help.

Best of luck to you.

Bond-007 profile image
Bond-007

I think most of your changes are due to life - not the kidney. The kidney & hypertension are telling you to slow down & uncomplicate your life. If i am right / hour hypertension & kidney will thank you. If I am wrong ….wait i am not wrong but only u will know that. But if i am, at least your life will be less stressful. Am i right?

shortmat profile image
shortmat

I too am CKD 3A. So that is about half of normal function. I don't worry too much because this is how I think about it : if my child had needed me to donate a kidney to him I would have done it in a heart beat. Many people have donated kidneys to their loved ones & they continue to lead happy, healthy lives after making the donation. So, my half functioning two kidneys are about equal to a kidney donor's one good kidney. No problem! Concentrate on following healthy tips for HB Pressure & the rest will follow.

Skeptix profile image
Skeptix in reply to shortmat

I didn't worry too much when I had about half normal function (about 10 years ago). Now that I've about 30% normal function I worry a bit more. I wish I'd worried a bit more about it 10 years ago and had taken the aggressive steps recently taken to stave off kidney decline. BP is one important one alright. But diet is pretty crucial too - for instance, I've pulled urea (BUN) from well out of spec (and kidney damaging) to well within spec, via diet.

If I had done that 10 years ago, I might not be at 30% today

Skeptix profile image
Skeptix

The single best thing you could do is take as much control over your disease as you can. There's no bigger contributor to anxiety than feeling you have no control over circumstances.

For instance: recent (2020) recommendation by the NKF (which your neph may or may not mention to you) indicate that diet can have a big impact on progression of your disease. If you embark on that route, in the knowledge that you are doing your best to protect your remaining kidney function, well that has a positive effect on your psychology.

If you know that you are getting the best medical treatment (because you have informed yourself as to what that is) you will get a beneficial psychological boost.

The name of the game is slowing or stopping your disease. Which means engaging with it more than you've engaged in anything in your life. By coming informed and familiar, you find the panic diminishes. Sure you will get down and you'll have worry. But not panic.

The best single thing I would suggest you do is read Lee Hull's "Stopping Kidney Disease". Flawed and overly long, it's an excellent intro to the topic of CKD'd kidneys and how to go about maxing out their life.

Buspasswalker profile image
Buspasswalker

In the UK it is rare to be able to see a nephrologist before stage 5! Stage 3 is viewed as a bit of a blip which may or may not change at random, and bloods are only taken once a year to check Gfr unless there are other problems also going on. I am older so kidney function naturally decreases with age so I don’t let it worry me, but do my best to control my high blood pressure and eat healthily. It sounds as though it is best not to be able to see a nephrologist if that is what is causing so much anxiety. A bit of overkill, and I know prevention is better than cure allegedly, but it sounds like your nephrologist constantly changing things is causing you stress.

shortmat profile image
shortmat in reply to Buspasswalker

I am in UK too. What I see from this site is that USA people worry more! We Brits just get on with it.

Buspasswalker profile image
Buspasswalker in reply to shortmat

Very possibly! I know in the US there is a lot more testing done and they concentrate more on prevention, but I think it can cause extra stress and inconvenience. I find it hard to alter my diet as the DASH diet for high blood pressure conflicts with the kidney diet, so I just concentrate on eating as healthily as I can (with the odd downfall when out with friends!). I read all the things I shouldn’t be eating in the food and veg line and it was all the things I like, and foods considered healthy, so I struggled with that. After my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly I decided life is too short to worry too much, and so I’m careful without letting it stress me out. My results have been pretty similar over the last few years. My next tests are in a couple of weeks, so just watch them prove me wrong, lol!

sparkie88 profile image
sparkie88

You need to find ways to relax and walking is the best for CKD without causing injury to the kidneys. Also it benefits your heart which is the most important right now and your mind. Meditate or yoga or anything relaxing to you. I too was diagnosed at stage 3b 2 years ago and got better at stage 2 now HBP and stress were my issues too. I learn to slow down and try to move as much as I can. I do not stress over my diet as well I still eat everything mindfully.

barbara55109 profile image
barbara55109

I found a good therapist that specializes in people with chronic pain and chronic illness. It helped so much.

Grammy80 profile image
Grammy80

Yogi, I understand. You are brave and wise to reach out. I found it necessary when I was diagnosed with GCA to reach out and talk to a therapist. Even though I have relocated we meet each week on Zoom for an hour....you already took the first step. Keep it touch💕

novemberlady1 profile image
novemberlady1

MY EGFR IS 30 AND UP FROM 17 A FEW MONTHS AGO. I AM NOT ANXIOUS LIKE SO MANY I SEE HERE. I KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM AND TRY TO DO THE BEST I CAN TO DO WHAT I CAN TO WORK WITH IT. I AM 78 AND DIABETIC WITH HTN AND HAVE OTHER ISSUES TOO. JUST WORK WITH YOUR DR AND TRY TO DO WHAT YOU CAN WITH YOUR DIET AND TRY TO RELAX. I AM SORRY YOU ARE HAVING SUCH A PROBLEM BUT THE ANXIETY PROBABLY JUST MAKES IT WORSE. I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU.

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