Depression?

[CrochetMJ]

Anyone else experiencing depression with their kidney disease? I have known about mine since as long as I can remember. About three weeks ago I was told I am in stage 4. I'm scared, depressed, and tired a lot now.

[Bassetmommer NKF Ambassador]

HI Crochet,

Facing a life changing illness is no picnic. There are ways to deal with it but it takes a mind changing thought pattern. But let me first say that all of us have gone through this. I was angry more than depressed. I blamed everyone in the medical field for letting things happened that happened. But at the point I was at stage 4, the damage was done and that was that.

The next thing I had to do was make up my mind as to what was I going to do moving forward. And that is when I came to conclusion that first and foremost, I was going to fight. That meant getting educated on the disease. Then getting educated on what I could do about it, which meant nutrition and healthy lifestyle. Then I got involved in helping others. Then I had a new life which has been pretty great. Now I sound like the world is a bed of roses, but that's a lie.

I too am scared...ever more so now than ever. But again, I am trying to educate myself on how to protect myself and my family. And getting prepared..... yes I bought toilet paper...but other things too so that I do not have to go out so much. I am lucky that all the work I do is on line for the most part.

And depression does come and visit, especially now. I hate that the world is going through what it is going through. It is so crazy and it seems like everyday it gets a bit worse. But I try to not focus on it. But sometimes, it is good to cry and release that pent up frustration and blues. (Some of the best art, music and writing is created in depression) And its funny you mention about being tired, because I too have been more tired than usual. That's my system combating stress. Nothing is more stressful than all the doom and gloom we are hearing about and we can't control any of it.

But on a more cheerful note. I have been stage 4 for now over two years. I stabilized and have remained in good health which is pretty amazing for all the comorbidities I have. I retired two years ago, and that helped my health a lot. I do a lot of volunteering for many different organizations including the National Kidney Foundation. I am very involved in my community, on all sorts of boards and committees and I am very busy. All that helps because if I am busy I cannot focus on feeling depressed or mad or what ever about a stinking situation, that is what it is, and called CKD. lololol

We are here for you.

[lowraind]

You may want to look at Natural Kidney Journey on facebook. Their restrictions are many, but they seem to have helped many people.

[KidneyCoach NKF Ambassador in reply to lowraind]

With depression? Through foods to not eat or focus on? I never saw anything about that in the group.

[KidneyCoach NKF Ambassador]

I can safely say a majority of those with any chronic health disease suffer from some sort of depression or anxiety disorder. It's just part of the package. I started meds for it about a year after beginning dialysis which was 18 years ago. Counseling or support groups can also be helpful. Blessings

[Klove22 in reply to KidneyCoach]

I found a "support group". It is consistently cancelled. It's "facilitated" by unqualified people who receive "training" by peers of unqualified peers. I discovered this by person who sends me gmails. I won't name drop group name. I even expressed my concerns to the person in charge of group only 2 b ignored with no gmail response to my gmail. I even stated in gmail it would b a waste of my time to attend. Time's for "group support" are at night, usually. Sometimes scheduled for 1 hr, sometimes two. I will go alone if I attended with meeting beginning at time dark and ending when dark. Doubt anyone would try to accommodate my safety of returning to my car. I'll go 2 a qualified therapist instead.

[Klove22 in reply to Klove22]

I have 3 self-help book's to read that will most likely b more beneficial than "support group". If I can't find a therapist to give me idea's on how to cope with major anxiety. Have psychiatrist who has prescribed medication to help with anxiety. I notice I don't need to take as much during stay at home, mandatory in my County.

[Hidden]

I'm kind of reserved about replying to anxiety and depression regarding CKD. So far all I know about it is that my creatinine was at 1.4 and my doctor wrote slightly abnormal kidney function on my chart. My urine protein was 29.9 so it was negative but 30 is positive. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet and my doctor recommended I get a nephrologist opinion but told me my numbers dont concern her yet. My issue with that is doctors never seem to be concerned until it's too late. They might be fine with the fact that they haven't failed today buy the possibility of it happening in the future really scared me.

I wont see a Nephrologist for 2 more months still but was asked to do a 24hr urine test. Knowing I was very close to positive protein I dreaded taking that test and I paced around my house in circles for a week too scared to go do it and figure out the answer. 3 days before taking the test I did my research and switched my diet and lifestyle and went to take my 24urine test. The doctor called me and was pleased that everything looked great but still wants me to see the Nephrologist to make sure she isnt overlooking anything. The Nephrologist called and said they reviewed my chart and just want me to continue working on my BP and they will see how I'm doing in a few months.

I hesitate to talk about anxiety related CKD because as of right now I really cant relate to many people on here who are doing much worse than myself. I haven't confirmed I have an issue yet but the thought of it put me in a bad place ad I had just had a baby girl 1 week before getting the news I may have an issue.

From my understanding BP and Diabetes are the main culprits behind CKD so I went to work on addressing that with my diet and lifestyle. My BP was normally around 145/95. 3 weeks of strictly following my new lifestyle I was at 114/75 this morning for the first time since my first doctors visit 2 years ago. I've had similar readings all week. Sometimes I get a little high when my anxiety and depression are bad like when I was 125/85 2 days ago. But I try to remember that just 2 months ago I was thrilled to get those numbers, those being my bad numbers now are pretty astounding. I dont know if what I'm doing is going to help out in the long wrong but I've been in contact with people who went through similar things and saw improvement.

I can speak to depression and anxiety in general though. I have what my therapist calls an issue with rumination. Once I perceive I have a problem with something my brain cycles it around on repeat endlessly until I latch on to a piece of good news that breaks the cycle. I didnt focus on anything but that number 1.4 for 3 weeks until my 24urine test came back and my BP started improving and my rumination started to finally break a little to where I could start to focus on work and my family. I'm still partially in the cycle right now as I still have it on my mind at all times but when I'm really focused on something else I can finally forget about it for a half hour at a time. I'm sure I'm exaggerating and my stress causes a great deal of my problems and probably a lot of my medical problems as well.

I wont know for 2 more months to know what the Nephrologist decides so I have to try to get my mind off of it a little each day. I couldn't keep going to the doctor every 6 months and getting bad news and getting put right back into my cycle. It's going to put me in the grave before anything else. Working on myself has been key to coming back to some sense of normalcy.

[DarlaPupMom in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for sharing with us. Many, many can relate to you. My nephrologist of ten years told me to stop obsessing over ”numbers”. There are guidelines of course but also many variables so don’t let numbers rule your thinking and your life. Also, since January of 2019 I have lived from day-to-day cause yesterday ended. Nd tomorrow is not here yet. When I succumbed to fear I wrote to this community and found complete understanding and empathy. I’m normally an encourager so it just re-set my thought processes. Lastly, the Bible is my go-to book for everything & prayer has become like breathing. God is the very air we breathe.

[Baza3]

Yes I went into depression when I was diagnosed. Seeing a qualified psychologist helped. Also took meds for a period of time. Don't feel bad about putting your hand up for professional and medical help, however look to specialist in the field of mental health. My experience is most nephrologists see you as a kidney patient, and have little consideration for the mental impact (not having gone through it themselves).

[Klove22 in reply to Baza3]

I suffer from depression. And this was b4 I was suddenly diagnosed with Stage 3 kidney disease. My Mom passed from renal failure. I have chosen not to go through any further treatment if my diagnosis progresses. I can't be as brave as she was. I just can't go through the pain I watched her go through. Perhaps it's cowardly of me. However, she was my best friend. I was holding her hand, alone when she passed. I'll discuss again with doctor as I have rescheduled due to virus. Does anyone know what will happen if diagnosis of stage 3 Kidney disease progresses? I've googled on internet but don't want to rely on that information.

[Baza3 in reply to Klove22]

I don't know what your diagnosis or reason for ckd3 is, but At stage 3 you usually have some time to prepare and hopefully slow down the failure through diet, medicine or other things.

I think waiting is the hard thing sometimes, especially for those of us with depression or prone to anxiety. Just thinking about what may come is the worst. Some people can live in the moment still and I'm jealous of them.

One thing I would say is to not make absolute statements to yourself like you won't go through further treatment. It's fine to think about it, and it might still be your decision when or if that time comes. But it might be some time till you need to make that decision so give yourself the option. People change.

Best wishes.

[Klove22 in reply to Baza3]

Thank you for sharing. A sudden diagnosis of Stage 3 KD sent me into a dark place, remembering my Mom. I offered her my kidney many year's ago and she declined. It wasn't my regular PCP who gave me the news. It was a PA who I had seen once. She seemed so cavalier with her announcement as I sat on an exam table. I have chosen to only speak to my PCP. A good note. My labs came back with no further progression. Due to stay at home order, PCP is doing phone calls vs office visits. I had 2 go out 2 day. Multiple errands. Including to grocery store. Most everything wiped out off shelves. I couldn't find Tylenol should I become ill with virus. PCP called in prescription close enough to it. As usual, problems with drug interactions requiring a fax signed by PCP for pharmacy to agree to fill. However, someone named Joey restored my faith in mankind. And how we all need to be kind. I'm sitting in my car overheating. He was dressed in scrubs. I asked if my favorite friend in pharmacy was working. She wasn't. Had she been I wouldn't have had to wait almost 2 hrs to fill prescription. He asked my last name. Said he would go inside store and fill my prescription immediately. How sweet. Then he called me when it was ready. He also checked me out at register immediately. Wrote him a note. He didn't know me. Told him of my diagnosis. I told him how much I appreciated his kindness. And that should I be able to visit San Diego, where I was born and raised, I'd think of him when I was visiting parent's grave at a beautiful place. Overlooks the Pacific Ocean. Spent time with my parent's at places overlooking the same ocean having wonderful time's. It's where I go to get peace. Thoughtfulness act of a complete stranger brought that same comfort to me. Just when I thought it to be impossible. Took me out of my dark depression. If only for a short time. Unexpected relief. He wil be receiving a thank you card next time I have to leave home. God bless you all. Thank you for reading my thoughts. How greatful for all of you.

[Missthumper]

Your certainly not alone. Tiredness is much apart of kidney disease. Do you have any family or friends to turn to for help with depression will they support you. Is there a councilor you can speak to about how your feeling. Trying to keep mentally and physically well is very hard when you have noone to support you. I hope you have someone.