I miss my Peanut

So it's been just over 2 months since we lost our Peanut due to Trisomy 13 (Patau's syndrome) and it hurts. I'm desperate to get pregnant again and have now started trying. I'm terrified something will go wrong with the next pregnancy too though, I'm already dreading a doctor telling me I need another termination or miscarrying, I wish I knew what to do to calm those thoughts as I'm sure they will not help me.

As every week passes I think about where I would be in our pregnancy, and I'm struggling with lots of people I know also getting pregnant, and friends due around the same time I should have been.

I know I must stay positive and hopefully soon I can celebrate a new little life again.

I will always love and remember my Peanut xx

8 Replies

  • Hi I had a miscarrige at Christmas and found it very hard to be around sum our family who were pregnant and there pregnancy was the same term as mine. To b honest jan/ feb were so hard I cried every time my period came. But march I got up and thought things happen fit a reason and I go focused on different thing, I did sum decorating did sum dieting and worked abit more. I hav a little boy who's 2 /12 he keeps me on my toes,

    Anyway my husband took me away for a relaxing miny break to wales in a spa where we drank and eat and enjoyed just being together, and it did the trick my period was due last weekend and I'm 3 weeks pregnant, my advice to u is relax its hard but spend time with your parner go have a holiday away from it all

    It will happen again( u think it won't but it will) if you've been pregnant before it will happen again I promise big hugs and if u need a chat please feel free to message me xxxx

  • Fingers crossed for you!

  • I know how you feel after miscarrying my first pregnancy, I cried allot, I was depressed, I found it hard to talk to people, it was even harder when my sister got pregnant!

    I grieved for months then I started to focus on a new job, new health regimes and a new gym, lost some weight felt great about myself, then boom it happened out the blue:)

    I'm now coming upto 29 weeks with a little boy:)

    It will happen for you xxxxx

  • So sorry that you have had such a sad ending to your pregnancy. It must be very difficult when you have friends around you that are having healthy pregnancies and i can understand your fears about the future and the same thing happening again. Have you had good support from the hospital in terms of risk for future pregnancies? Also did they offer counselling? I hope you have people you can be with that allow you to express your grief. Look after yourself (and cherise your thoughts of peanut). Best wishes xx

  • :( So sorry about the outcome of little Peanut. As Kaley has said above getting some support at this point may be a good avenue to pursue. Counselling might provide you a platform to talk freely about all these emotions that rightly are surfacing and the feelings of fear about a future pregnancy are worth discussing in an environment that is safe and supportive. My heart goes out to you and missing Peanut is to be expected. Take your time with all your feelings. You'll always get encouragement and love from the women here if you need us. Much love and let those feelings out whatever they may be, they have there purpose and will lead you to a place where you can begin to move to forward. Best wishes. xxx

  • xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxto youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx you will get the answer you want, just stay positive. Start taking folic acid, I am sure that is what helped me get pregnant after my mc in dec. I am not saying it is a sure thing but just try it. I never actually had a perid for 14weeks after my mc and still managed to conceive in Feb and I am sure it was from the folic acid. Keep your chin up and be strong. xx

  • Hi,

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss. If you feel you could do with some extra support in dealing with your experiences you could get in touch with ARC.

    arc-uk.org/. ARC is the only national charity which provides non-directive support and information to expectant and bereaved parents throughout and after the antenatal screening and testing process.

    I found them very helpful during a period of worry due to some unexpected scan results.

    Best wishes!

  • Ladies,

    I'm overwhelmed and completely moved by your messages of support. Your advice is amazing and makes me feel a million miles away from the loneliness I felt when I wrote it. I have a great support network around me, but it's not really the same as having people who understand the pain of losing a child or an expectant mother who could understand the threat. I wanted to post on here firstly for myself to help with healing and to have my feelings down in words, but secondly so other mothers who may go through something similar know they're not alone.

    I've been building up to writing on here since it happened as I used to come on this website everyday during my pregnancy, to read about everyone's experiences to learn as I was a first time mother and to share advice if I could. Skyblueboston, you answered a couple of my questions which I was massively grateful for ??

    I have wanted to keep in touch with the network and keep learning ready for my next pregnancy, but until now it's just been too hard to do so.

    Each of you has given me a little extra hope and strength through your messages and I could not be more thankful to you; you are all angels and I'm positive you will be fantastic, caring mothers.

    Good luck in your pregnancies, I will be keeping an eye out for each of your happy announcements.

    Thank you


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