Never felt more alone

I just feel totally let down and ignored by my midwives I'm fifteen weeks pregnant tomorrow and had pains yesterday and they are saying there's nothing they can do. So basically I have no way of checking that my babies are ok because they won't do anything to check. It makes me wonder why they are there. All they say is drop a water sample off at your doctors, that's it!! I got more reaction in my early weeks from the hospital etc that what I am getting now. To top it off one of my friends went over her due date and was told that she would be induced on the wrong date!! And didn't have a clue until the hospital rang her up wondering where she was that was all thanks to my midwives!!! Just wish I was looked after better..... This is the first time I have asked for help off them makes me wonder whether it's worth ever asking them for help again. X

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19 Replies

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  • oh bless you that's not good, they are supposed to be reassuring you! What about going to ur g.p, I'm really really shocked they are acting like that won't they even hear the heartbeats? not good enough is it really !!! If ur concerned they should listen to you! mums instinct is so important! some midwives get too complacent and that's when mistakes are made! you're you get this sorted asap what about going to a&e they would have to listen if u are referred xx

  • If you are really worried go to your local EPAU - you can self refer and get a welfare check on bubba.

    Pains are scary - I've got a horrible cramp in my right lower abdo, which I'm sure is Flump attacking a ligament or squishing a bi of my bowel, but Pregnancy is terrifying at times. Xx

  • You dont have to feel alone.i know its easy to say but you have a right to be looked after by your midwife.she should be reliable and reachable person.i know not every midwife has a passion for this job.my midwife was the same and after seeing her twice i just refused to see her again.i had a laparoscopy done when i was 7weeks as they suspected cornual ectopic pregnancy.it took 7weeks for all scars to heal.she meant to be there for me.instead she gave me the wrong nr so i couldnt contact her.when i had bleedings on few occasions she wasnt bothered.although hospital advised me seeing her to listen to heartbeat.but i couldnt contact her.i had to ring community midwives to contact her!and when i did see her she spent 5min talking to me then just rushed me out of door!didnt explain my blood results,answer any of my questions.she's lost my urine sample results,swabs...and even written in my book that i had ecoli bacteria and antibiotics for it!when i never had it!!!everything has been checked by my gp and consultant in hospital and i've never had an infection or any treatment for it!but they've asked me if i wanna make a complain as i felt so let down and stressed out.now i've got new midwife and she's fantastic.if you not happy with care you recieve from your midwife you have a right to ask for change.pregnancy it can be stressful so having midwife like her is not on.good luck xx

  • Please please please report this! This is shocking treatment you've been getting

  • complaining does make a difference, and make sure it doesn't happen again, I complained after the birth of my 3 child, was treated brilliantly when I had my 4, don't give up something needs to be done!!!!

  • I get to see different mid-wives every time I go in there. So far i have not had any problem which made me call my midwife section, and I hope it continues like that. But ofcourse you have a right to be looked after, and you must make sure that you are - make sure you ask all your questions (even if sometimes we think they are silly ones, they are better be asked than ignored)

    Also, I think its really important that you develop a relation of trust with your midwife or your doctor, especially the one who may help you in delivery. I would be now demanding to see the ones who would be responsible and would really want to know if I can trust them, because if I can not than there is no point them being there for me.

    mid-wife is a responsible position and is surely based on trust (the institution came in being to provide pregnant women a motherly care and faith and not just regular check-ups)

  • Thanks everyone for your replies! The epau in my area only see you if you have a bleed. My husband called my midwives back and asked them what they actually do and that they had upset me more or less making out that I am lying about things which he told them straight about. But they have said the only thing they can offer is to try to find the heartbeats with a doppler but they don't think at 15 weeks it would be possible and would only make me worry more. I understand this but this still doesn't help me in any way and she didn't suggest anything that would help me put my mind at rest. I have my 16 week appointment with the midwife next week but apparently they will try and listen then!!! I don't have another consultant appointment till the 9th April so I think it's going to be a looooooooong wait!! I think the 2nd trimester is the worst part of pregnancy with symptoms gone (apart from tiredness) roll on another scan x

  • Why the heck can't they get off their bottoms and arrange for another scan. I'm getting really fed up with incompetent and unfeeling midwives

  • OMG i really feel for you.how can they say they cant listen to heartbeat at 16weeks!are they from this planet?when i had my second scan after my laparoscopy at 8weeks there was strong heartbeat then!i bought Angelsound and i found my babys heartbeat at 12weeks.it took me maybe 20minutes but it worked.i really suggest you changing the midwife or in worse scenario just lie that you had a little bleed if they cant see you.and maybe its worth investing in babys doppler monitor from ebay or amazon(i only paid £10) just to reassure you xx

  • That is ridiculous! I had pains was later on they were constant and I couldn't even touch my stomach it was so painful, I had no sleep and by the next morning couldn't take it anymore, rang the hosp told them, said I didn't think it was labour but something wasn't right, they told me to come in checked me over, and I stayed in for 2 days! I had an infection think that's when they picked up my strep b! Why should u have to wait if you think something is wrong that is not good enough really is it! What about seeing your GP? Pain is a sign to tell you something! They should check you over.

  • I have thought about getting an angel sounds Doppler but I think what worries me most is I'm pregnant with twins and I am scared about not being able to pick up both heartbeats or thinking I have found two and its the same baby or not being able to find even one would make me even worse given my situation at the minute:(

    I just hope I get some sort of sign that my little ones are ok!! It doesn't help the fact that I'm loaded with cold and feeling quite unwell in myself at the min anyway x

  • Hi I was very anxious before my 16th week appointment too, as I was not having any symptoms - but than babies cant disappear overnight :) and they have to be there, developing with their usual normal pace. I am sure the next appointment with the mid-wife would really put your mind at rest - you would be hear both the heart beats :)

    God bless !

  • Thanks for that! I know that's what I keep telling myself, it's just sooooooo difficult when you can't open your tummy up and har a peek at our little ones. : /

    Fingers crossed your right and we hear the heartbeats - but that's still a looooong week away :(

    It's obvious I'm not the only one that goes through this lull but you feel so alone when your thinking about your little ones. Xxx

  • believe me you - it would be so different this week - I was feeling exactly the same way between my 12th week scan and the 16th week appointment - but seriously it has been so so different - also because before the 16th week excitement of having heard your babies would wane off you could already start feeling the baby fluttering (and given that you have twins, I hope you would already start feeling them even before your 20 week scan)

  • That's the thing I have been feeling flutters, feels like little pulses inside it felt amazing - but I haven't felt that since Thursday so that's panicked me too! I hope they have just moved up slightly where I can't quite gage the movements at the minute x

  • did you talked about it to the GP or midwife (maybe call the mid-wife center and not to her personal number, because someone would be there to check you in)

    Although I am not sure if its too early at 15 weeks to worry - as I did not felt my little one moving uptil week 21 ( i think I felt something at week 18, but nothing after that - but always good to re-check)

    also, around the same 18th week I had pain in my belly button area (it was really really sore and I thought its the placenta maybe) but it was the sac expanding :)

    But as I and others said earlier, be forceful if they are not listening to you - because they have the duty to provide care and are accountable to you - and sometimes we moms just need to fight for our babies.

    Keep us posted :)

  • Yes I did but I dont think they believed me that I have felt the flutters while eating etc already, all I can tell them is what I can feel! I know people that have felt them around the same time as I have too, they won't help me I've tried and I know the doctors are limited to what they can do too x

  • can you explore the private scans I would do it if in your place

  • Hi, I totally understand what you mean, unless you are at least 18weeks pregnant midwives cannot really do anything due to the way the maternity unit at hospitals work.

    I’m 16 weeks pregnant and discovered last week I was losing clear fluid and in pain, I spoke to my midwife who was very understanding at my worry and apologetic that she had her hands tied and could actually not do anything for me until I am 18weeks. However she was lovely and did advise me to make an emergency appointment with the nurse or GP at my doctors who would able to examine me and if they then thought it was necessary to undergo further investigation then can refer you to hospital and maternity wards and units can only take admittance from a GP up until 18weeks.

    If you are still in pain and concerns I would strongly recommend making an appointment with your GP just explain you need an urgent appointment as you are pregnant and explain your symptoms they should have no problem squeezing you in. Either that or speak to 111 after hours when your normally practice is closed and make an appointment with them, at least that way you are already at hospital out of hours service should you need any further tests.

    Hope everything goes alright - good luck :-) xx

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