Jealous friends about my pregnancy!!

I can't believe some of my friends are not happy about me been pregnant! We have been trying for a long time but never told any of them that I had difficulty getting pregnant, I guess I didn't want them looking down on me. I have the career, the car and the house and they have always been spooked about that, most of them are housewives with kids and don't work.

Now that I am pregnant with our first child and I told them about my good news most of them talk to others behind my back. I am so shocked. Did that happen to any of you ladies out there??? I guess times like this u really gt to know who u real friends are.

10 Replies

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  • Friends can be a trial at the best of times. Perhaps they are not really good friends? I had one odd comment from someone who advised me at 6 weeks pregnant not to get excited because something might go wrong... meant well but sounded unsupportive, negative and rude to me, hurt my feelings and shocked me as I'd only told 5 people at that point, people I felt the closest too.

    Any of my friends more successful than I am, I am proud and happy for, I don't know what it is about your achievements that spooks your friends. Equally nothing is suggestive of those who choose to be housewives and are in the position to not work. Pros and cons for both approaches.

    The most important thing I believe is that YOU are happy with your news, your family, your partner/husband. These are exciting times. Anyone that falls by the way side is probably best doing without. I've certainly trimmed down my friends, I don't want my daughter to be born to a mother who is being treated badly by others or unsupported by those claiming to be friends.

    Congratulations by the way, and good luck! x

  • If your friends are finding it difficult to be happy for you at this very special time "for you" then maybe you should consider whether or not they're your true friends.

    I used to have simular sounding people in my life which I considered to be friends many years ago & the funniest thing is that when i see them "in a shopping centre" for example they look 100% miserable.

    CONGRATULATIONS BY THE WAY!

  • Why the heck aren't they happy for you? They've got their kids, and the luxury of staying at home. If they don't like it stuff em. If they can't be happy for you then there not what I'd call friends, especially as you've been waiting so long, I hope it's just a bit of a shock for them and they come round. Don't forget that there are lots of groups like aqua natal and the like where you can make some new friends too :)

  • Thank u Kaliedoscope for ur nice words. I just couldn't understand it. Coz I was over the moon for them, and been is housewife is sometimes harder than having a full time job. But I just didn't believe they could be like this :O

  • Thanks Abenaa and thirdtimelucky, I guess to them it was they had the kids And I had the career, this sounds more like a competition coz now that I will be a mom too, they havent got the job or the house to compete with me. I never showed off to them but they always comment on the things I do n have.

  • By the way it's not just new news to them am 22 weeks and they have known since I was 12 weeks, so they had about 10 weeks to get over the shock.

  • I am 20 weeks and one couple wecare friend's with wont even mention the pregnancy and another of my closest friends sent a text to me that was mesnt for another friend completely slatting my life- I have since blocked her! Its not worth having negatives in your life- especially when pregbant xx

  • Hi, see I'm a young mum and my friends deserted me. Turns out that most of them fancied my boyfriend and now 'hate' me for 'tying him down'. Because of them, I neither get on with other local teen mums after nasty rumours they spread. Its been hard but well worth it, just ignore it and focus on the people that show happiness :-)

  • Can be two things, one your friends are not really worth it - as some of the other ladies also subtly hinted or two your degree of excitement dont match with your friends, in either case its time to have some new ones and ignore the ones who are not responding the way you expected.

    In my case, I think I have so much more than many of my other hard-working friends including a well-settled and handsome husband, a very loving and helpful in-laws, nicely placed in my profession and just round the corner to enter the 'expert group' of my field.

    I have both male and female friends and a lot of them (especially men) would say they were little heart-broken on my wedding (different story that they all find my husband also to be genuinely nice guy and have eventually become are great friends with him)

    Some of the male-still-unmarried friends were not too glad to know that i am expecting (I call them my boyfriends and one day teased over dinner if they were hoping for a divorce :P...which kind of made the situation bit relaxed and funny and they went on to joke back as well) ....now they are at same excitement level as me. The other ones were obviously very glad and little sad that i cant drink anymore (we plan a big huge booze party after the breast feeding days are over)

    Girl-friends on other hand can be bit difficult to handle - my best friend is trying for a baby for a long time now, she got married earlier than me, and could not attend my wedding because she had a miscarriage around the same time and was depressed. As a matter of fact, I do not talk much to her about the baby - i know it might be hurting for her !

    Yet another one, who is in army and seemingly have no womenly emotions left after her training, surprised me very nicely and all we are talking about is the baby.

    Few others dont anyways share the same excitement level in life as i do, they are friends still, but not someone whom i wold discuss my baby with.

    BTW if you are annoyed about not having anyone to plan a nice baby shower, than believe me you are not alone. I am miles away from my besties, cat expect stuffs like those from my boyfriends (though I secretly wish men in my life be wise enough to plan something, or if God can help me trade them for some nice girl-friends). But I guess I am now a bit more used to it, given the fact that i had none of my friends around even at the time of my wedding (miscarriage, training, postings and making the world a better place stuffs etc keeping them away). And i virtually ended up with my brother forcing his than girlfriend upon me for my bridesmaid (his testosterones were speaking louder i guess) and believe me she almost ruined my whole wedding ! So all i want is a nice and happy pregnancy and if friends cant be around, I am happy that spoilers are kindly kept away from me ! :)

  • Thank u ladies for ur comments n inputs, I that I was alone in this but I see it happens to others too, guess u r right if they can't be happy for me at this time they really weren't real friends. P.s we don't traditionally have baby showers but I am having 1 anyway, some of my very close friends n work colleagues hinted they were throwing me one n I am glad. Believe me the ones I mentioned in this subject r not invited.

    Once again thanks ladies,xx

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