Pregnant for the second time after missed misscarriage

Hi everyone, I'm pregnant again very happy!!! I have only just found out so it's very early days! How can I stop worrying about everything? Symptoms, feelings and I keep comparing it to my last pregnancy but don't want to because I know it will drive me insane! Does anyone have any ideas or has anyone been through the same as me and have any ideas how to chill me out ??? X x

12 Replies

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  • Congratulations!!

    Please know that it is very unlikely that you will have to suffer a miscarriage again.

    However, t is natural to be worried and comparing what is happening. I think it is ok to tick off every day until your first scan and see each week as a 'well done me, that's another week done!'.

    That's how I got through the first trimester of this pregnancy (I have had a miscarriage and a stillbirth). I also (because I am a slim person) spent the first 12 weeks eating lots as it relieved sickness symptoms and made me feel that I was doing something positive for my baby. It was just something to focus on...even if ur not slim you could focus on eating healthily - an extra piece of fruit a day?? Perhaps see looking after yourself as the positive thing you can do because there is nothing directly we can do to prevent miscarriage, we can only get through the first weeks as best we can (mentally I mean).

    Good luck, x

  • If u explain ur worries to the local midwife not your personal one but local one they can arrange a viability scan hunny i myself had mmc 5 yrs ago now im 3 monts pregnant scan due wed been using a doopler and baby heart very clear the stress had me in a state for the first 7 weeks till my viability scan now ive calmed a bit but i know i wont be fully settled till babys here in my arms its just our way as mothers of angels to worry xxx

  • Thank you to you both!!! I'm sorry that you both have been through the same pain as me! I am going to take each day as it comes and let nature takes its course! I was told at the time that it wasnt my fault i miscarried but you always have that niggling doubt was there something i did wrong could i have changed anything etc etc. It's very hard when you have had a bad experience not to worry. I think the best thing I can try my best to do during this pregnancy is try to relax and as you say eat healthily and not compare this with the last. I could have an early scan if I want but it put me through a lot of stress the last time eg first scan sac empty, second heart beat found very slow heartbeat and third I had lost my baby. I think this time I might try and hang fire unless I am getting pains or anything I think, fingers crossed And good luck to you both x x

  • Just try to rest as much as possible, eat well and take pregnancy vitamins and folic acid. All the best

  • I had a missed misscarriage last year, currently 15 weeks 6 days, been so paranoid even now, but starting to calm down, I paid for extra scans at ultra baby in Kingston, each one I was nervous but it helped me in the long run. Also I ave to kee thinking no blood or pain equal a healthy pregnancy. I have ordered myself a doppler so again I can re assure myself. Personally I know I will not stop worrying till baby is in my arms alive and kicking.

  • Ah, great to see you back on here, a massive congatulations. I wouldn't have an early scan if everything is going to plan, it justs adds to the worry as you know. Put your feet up as much as you can, take your folic acid, eat healthily and try and get a little gentle excercise. I found a walk in the fresh air great for the mind as well as the body. I know it is hard not to worry, talking to your husband, family, friends and your pals on here of course can help. I am booked in for a c section in a couple of weeks, and up the wall. I wanted to have him naturally but will go with what ever the doctor thinks is best. My husband will be off work for a couple of weeks and my mother is coming to stay. I think that is the key no matter what stage or our worries concerning our pregnancies. Just surround yourself with people who love you and you can trust. A trouble shared and all that. Again great news, take care Niamh xx

  • Thank you Niamh!!! Yes four months it's been since. But hopefully this is going to be our year eh? I'm sorry you wanted a natural birth but the way I look at it is whatever you need to do to get a lovely baby at the end of it all!! We actually conceived naturally this time I couldn't believe it but it's very early days (going to be positive :). ) I actually have to ring the ivf clinic tomorrow and cancel it hopefully forever!!! I was due to start treatment next month funnily enough. Like what they say when its at the back of your mind! I'm going to ring my dr who was very supportive the last time and see what happens next. I'm thinking first scan the earliest 8 weeks or more to reduce the stress. Yes I think some nice little dog walks are in order x x

  • Hi congratulations to you and the very best of luck. Worrying is normal after every loss but just like most ladies on here said already try to stay positive and look after yourself. : )

  • I had a missed miscarriage in the summer and I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant. I have to say I had a lot of reassurance from professionals but couldn't afford a private scan and they couldn't fit me in at the hospital.

    I just tried to stay positive and do positive things like eating and vitamins etc. It wasn't until my 12 week scan I started to feel positive. I still question every niggle and ache (I've also had a neonatal death) but you just have to have positive thoughts. I know it sounds twee but it's no use dwelling on the past or what might be. Pregnancy is a magical time and you don't want to miss that by worrying. Stay calm, come on here, air your worries and stresses and leave them.

    Sending you lots of positive thoughts xxxxx

  • Thankyou all for your reassurance it is appreciated :) I have been offered an early scan but I have asked for it to be around the 9 week mark so I dont have as tough a time as I did last summer they have said it should be ok. Can I just ask anyone, did you feel different to your other pregnancies? eg this time my boobs dont feel as sore, and apart from weeing loads I wouldn't have even guessed I was pregnant. Im hoping thats just down to it being early days x

  • Hi, re your last comment I am on my third pregnancy (1st was horrendous but my son is fine! 2nd was miscarriage) and this one is TOTALLY different. My body knows what it is doing now I think so my boobs are fine and like you say other than weeing loads I have to remember i'm pregnant! I was in hospital for my first pregnancy as I had severe morning sickness for the entire 9 months. In this one I have no sickness as long as I don't eat tomatoes (?!). I know its hard after a miscarriage but try not to compare pregnancies they really are completely different each time-evidently even in the same woman! Good luck!

  • Thankyou very much, your reply does put me at ease. So far I still have only had a little nipple tenderness and a few cramps yesterday and thursday (which I think is simply the baby settling itself in ; ) ). Im sure there will be more symptoms coming my way soon xxx

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