I’m scared to start a family. Your advice please 🙏🏾

[Pregs2022]

Hi everyone,I need your your advice please. I’m only 25 years & I’m married . But really scared to get pregnant. My husband isn’t soo keen about starting a family yet but he’s also fine with it. I worry that if I delay to conceive , it might get too late for me one day. Or that giving birth might get more complicated when I get older. Would you advise me to start now, or wait? Thanks a lot ❤️

[alohalu]

You are very young, but I can totally understand that age is something to worry about, because I struggled to concieve due to our age.

I would advise you do some fertility tests, to assess yours and your partner ability to have children (it’s important to do both). I don’t think the NHS would do these unless you tell them that you are having trouble conceiving, but you can pay for the tests privately at any fertility clinic.

Once you have some results, you can decide if you want to wait or go ahead and start trying.

[Pregs2022 in reply to alohalu]

Thank you so much! I will start that soon.

[Purpledoggy]

I agree with alohalu that getting a basic fertility check (in particular measuring your blood AMH level to get an idea of ovarian reserve) is a good place to start. In terms of age and fertility, on average it starts to decline more significantly after 35 so you likely have some time yet. Pregnancy and birth gets potentially more complex over the age of 40 so again you have some time on your side. It's a tricky decision as no one wants to feel they have left it too late, but it has to be a decision that is right for you. Depending on how you are fixed financially and your AMH level, you could consider egg freezing if you're worried about delaying pregnancy. xx

[andrina25]

I’m 36, my partner is 41. We have been together for 4,5 years. He was ready to have a baby 2,5 years ago but I wasn’t. I’m now 36 weeks pregnant with our little girl and I can tell you that it makes a huge difference when you have lived, had fun, built a career or just enjoyed life generally. Now we are both in a position where financially as well as emotionally totally ready for this new person’s arrival. Of course, as others suggested do a fertility check but I wouldn’t rush anything. And don’t listen to people who say there’s no right time to get pregnant as there is and you’ll know it.

[Hidden]

I understand your concerns but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Do it when the time is right for both of you. 25 is still such a young enough age. I am 30 and have just conceived naturally and there are always other options if for whatever reason you are not able to. Like others have said ask your doctor for a basic check for peace of mind. All the best x

[CAS2]

Having children is a whole new ball game! You need to make sure you are ready for it. Maybe have a couple of years and then think about it, if you are not sure!

[Cookie2810]

Don't do anything until you feel ready x

[Cheekymonkey85]

Look, everyone is different and at the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right. I was 28 (almost 29) when my first was born, then didn’t have number 2 until I was 33 and finally had number 3 right before I turned 35. No age related issues with any pregnancy. My friend has literally just had her 4th 2days ago and she’s 37. Again, no age related issues. No issues conceiving either.

Yes it can get harder the longer you leave, but the odds are still in your favour.

The nhs won’t look into fertility issues unless you’ve been trying for at least a year I think, I’m not sure I’d rich to get things like that checked just yet as it might just add unnecessary stress and possibly push you into things you aren’t ready for. Just relax and enjoy married life a bit longer, you will know when your ready xx

[Pregs2022 in reply to Cheekymonkey85]

Your experience gives me hope & positivity vibes 😍 thanks a lot I appreciate.

[Blue1986]

Enjoy your life with your husband and stop worrying about the future.

[CJohns]

I agree with a couple others on obtaining basic fertility checks now. I started trying at 27 and shortly after my 28th had a check done (due to 10 months of ttc) and I had the hormone levels showing a potential egg reserve of a late 40 YO and my partners semen was also very poor. I’m sure the chances of receiving results like mine at my age is very low, but I have certainly recommended that all of my friends get themselves checked. Had I have known two years ago then I certainly would not have put a family on hold for my career (and a want to get married first), and the likelihood now is that I’ll only have one natural baby and if I want another, it will be donor eggs or adoption xx

[HollyT7]

. some people have babies young, some in there 40s, some with fertility issues, some not. if it doesn't feel right for you now then it's not the right time 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Pregs2022]

Your experience helps me think deeper & put things in the right perspective ☹️… I worry about my career as I’m in the middle of it all, feel like I’ve got loads of things on my plate before I become a mom! I will definitely get those tests done thanks 😊

[CJohns in reply to Pregs2022]

Good luck with whatever you do. Our fertility ‘MOT’ cost I think around £240, which although seems a lot for something that is not a necessity, obtaining the information we did meant it was worth every penny and also meant our docs referred us straight for fertility treatment rather than having to wait the standard year to even be able to call the doctors. It’s a funny old thing to almost have to plan your future, but these days 1 in 6/7 couples require help with fertility so it’s always worth getting ahead of the game. Xx