Mum guilt during pregnancy

[Mummax2]

I’m 7 weeks and I am so poorly with this pregnancy, I can’t stand up without feeling dizzy and sick. I have a 12 year old daughter who doesn’t currently know I’m pregnant as I’m waiting for my appointment with the midwife to tell her the news. I just severe guilt that I’m not being there for her like I normally am. Has anyone else had this?

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear you’re having a rough time! When’s your midwife appt? Is it in person or over the phone?

[Mummax2 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. It’s awful. It’s over the phone and it’s not for another couple of weeks.

[Jeppela_]

Don’t worry, I’m feeling on the same boat but have a 14month old running around! I need to break away at times as it gets too much and do feel guilty also as I should be enjoying this age with him! I think how your feeling is perfectly normal as there is a lot happening inside your body! I’ve been having feelings of nausea and food aversions to everything so struggling to find anything I fancy eating! Make sure you drink plenty of water and take your vitamins! I’ve just ordered some ginger candy so I am hoping this will help!

[Mummax2 in reply to Jeppela_]

Ah I’m sorry to hear you also feel rubbish. So hard isn’t it as it’s all such a beautiful thing to be able to have a baby but at the moment I am hating feeling so ill. Yes I’m trying to drink lots and snack on crackers but not helping too much really. I hope yours gets easier soon.

[Jeppela_ in reply to Mummax2]

I hope yours also! Yes it’s a beautiful thing to have and experience but it’s definitely not easy - we just need to ride it out and hope that when we reach second trimester, it will be easier (.. I’m counting down) 😅

[Natasha213]

I was exactly the same I have a 1-year-old and 9 years old. I literally went from jumping around and playing all the time to laying on the settee not wanting to move. I'm 16 weeks and it's finally eased at 14 weeks and I have my energy back, stopped feeling and being sick. In all honesty, I think the children are fine it's just us that worry and feel guilty. I tried to do things such as get the pool out, play board games, film nights all things that didn't require too much energy and my 9year old was fine. Thankfully my husband has been home the whole time which helped as if I was tired I would feel worse. I also had anti-sickness medication from the doctor and started iron tablets straight away as I am always anaemic. I also had rich tea biscuits at hand all the time. Hope you feel better soon x

[Mummax2 in reply to Natasha213]

I am thinking I am going to have to get some meds from the doctor. I’ll be going back to work soon and I’ll be no use to anyone with how I am at the moment. I could barely eat some toast this morning. Glad to hear you’re feeling better now. X

[GM99]

Hi,

I’ve been exactly the same! I have a 14 month old and felt so guilty when I’ve had to go and have a rest or lie down after feeling so unwell- I had bad sickness throughout her pregnancy so think I’m just prone to it! But sometimes you jus have to do what you have to do and we will make up for it down the line when we are back to full health! Hope you feel better soon! Xx

[mushy19]

I was pregnant with a 11year old (only child at the time) and felt exactly the same as you. I felt so guilty for not being able to give her the attention she was used to as well as keeping such a big secret from her.

We waited until after our 12week scan to make the big surprise announcement to her with a personalised card and a bag of ‘big sister to be’ gifts. She bawled and bawled as she didn’t suspect a thing.

From then onwards she was so in tune with everything... researching do’s and dont’s, what I could a couldn’t eat etc and telling me to rest & relax.

Baby is now 8weeks old and she is the best big sister, so attentive and helpful.

However... just some warning as what I didn’t expect was the first two days home with the new baby was a nightmare...🤭she was a nightmare, a terrible attitude and super emotional. In came the ‘Mum guilt again’..... But after a long talk and getting her involved with supervision things calmed right back down.

I naturally assumed being a older child she understood baby needed my full attention but I guess it took two days for her to get used to our new dynamics in the home.

Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy x