stress during pregnancy: I'm 19 weeks... - Pregnancy and Par...

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stress during pregnancy

mintamir profile image
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I'm 19 weeks pregnant. From day one of my pregnancy i'm fighting with my husband. I don't know why he become irritated with every little thing. This is my second pregnancy, I lost the first one at 11 week. We planned it and he is the one pushing me to get pregnant. He doing drugs, stay out late drinking and he didn't see me as a pregnant women. He said he doesn't care about me or the baby. I don't know why he acted like this. I don't know what to do. I tried to tolerate every thing for the sake of my baby but i can't. Did my emotional pain and hurts my baby?I cried every night. i see my baby dancing inside me on my ultrasound appointment 5 days ago. please help. I've no one to talk to. Am i hurting my baby?

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mintamir profile image
mintamir
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Zopes profile image
Zopes

Hi I’m really sorry for the loss of your first baby and now your having to cope with all this stress when you should be calm relaxed and being looked after by your partner.

I’ve replied to several posts like yours and I’m going to be blunt and may say things you don’t like but I’ve been through a similar situation and I hate to hear of anyone suffering like you are.

Get rid of him it’s that simple tell him to leave or you leave him depending on your situation.

You and your baby don’t deserve to be treated that way. We say we stay with these people for the baby’s sake and to keep the family together but that’s not family people who love you respect you and should be caring for you both don’t treat you like that so they don’t deserve you. You will find your life much calmer and happier without all that negativity anger and aggression around you.

If he’s unwilling to change or listen to you and they normally don’t then don’t put yourself through anymore stress.

Ask your midwife or local health centre for help if you don’t have anyone else to turn to.

Do what’s best for you and your baby and wish you lots of luck and a healthy pregnancy.

I am pregnant with my 4th child and just as nervous as the first one xxx

High, on going stress levels caused by the stress this man is causing you has the potential to impact on both your wellbeing and that of your baby.

In a nutshell stress/fear in the mother leads to the release of cortisol and adrenaline in your body which influences the development of your child in the womb, particularly brain development. Babies carried by mothers who are highly stressed during pregnancy tend to develop more stress receptors in their own brains, this can lead to a fractious/hard to settle baby, for example.

But aside from this you deserve better. It’s not uncommon for some men to become abusive when their partners become pregnant. He may be anxious and displaying it in unhelpful ways, but that’s not fair on you, especially when you’re at a particularly vulnerable time in your life. It’s for this reason midwives in the UK are now meant to ask mums to be, at every appointment, if all is ok at home/whether they are experiencing domestic abuse.

Don’t be afraid to confide in your midwife, who can offer support and guidance. There’s help out there. Be brave for your sake and that of your child x

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