Trying to conceive Month 5

[Eileen91]

I’ve been here before to write a post but I am blessed and lucky with a two year old daughter who was conceived on honeymoon within the first month of trying and for that I’m forever grateful. We decided five months ago that the time was right to try again and although I didn’t anticipate to be so blessed and so quick as last time I also didn’t imagine it would end up being so gruelling and I can only sympathatise with those that go through this for years because after five months I’m at the stage of giving up and accepting I have one amazing child because the emotional turmoil month on month is too much. I had been reading up as you do and a lot of posts and stuff on the internet about secondary infertility. Has anyone had any experience of this? My mind is on overdrive. I have a fairly stable and not too stressful home life, I have a job that I now love and I don’t smoke or drink and have regular periods so I would say that I should not be in too bad a place to be trying. I’ve tried it all. Ovulation kits, basal body temperatures, charting and the whole works but month five is just done and my period has come again. I know for some five months is probably nothing but the despair and disappointment each month is too much that it is getting me down so I am sort of at a crossroads now where I’m thinking of deciding to leave it and accept that I have one truly special daughter that was a huge gift and that’s all I really need and for that I am so grateful because I know people who are struggling for years and years for baby one I know I am better off than many but was just looking if anyone had any stories of their attempts for baby number two to shed some light. Sending baby dust to you all who are actively ttc xxx

[anna0908]

I took nearly 4 years to conceive my 1st, so understand the pain of trying and being unsuccessful each month. However, it is completely normal to take a year to become pregnant. And the fact you fell pregnancy easily 1st time suggests there are no underlying fertility issues, and you are far too early on to place yourself in the secondary infertility bracket. Sometimes you just need to wait for the right egg and sperm to meet! My advise is to throw away the ovulation sticks as there is no evidence they help conception rates and increase stress! The only evidence based advise is to have regular sex (every 2 or 3 days) and you will definitely cover your fertile window. Reset your expectations to the year mark (hard I know if it happened so quickly last time) and if it happens sooner, it is a bonus. You will still feel sad each month as this is unavoidable as we naturally get our hopes up, but let it be a brief sadness and move on, focussing as much as possible on the other great things in your life. Only if (and it's a big if) you get well past the year point and it hasn't happened do you need to start thinking about where you go from there. Hope you find my post supportive and understanding (and not harsh) as I do know how hard it feels, but hope you can find a way to not let it consume you at this point xx

[Eileen91 in reply to anna0908]

I really do find it supportive and sometimes it’s just hearing it from someone else that acts as reassurance. I know compared to your experience of four years I am highly lucky and I am truly really so grateful for the blessings I have in my life and know I shouldn’t probably be harping on about it as there are people way worse off. I think you’re right about the ovulation kits I think I’m not going to use anything. Thank you for the response xxx

[anna0908 in reply to Eileen91]

Your not harping on at all. I do remember feeling the disappointment each month even very early on in our journey. It really does cause pain and heartache. Hope you are not waiting too much longer xx

[Hidden]

Hi Eileen I too got pregnant straight away with both my kids in my 20's so knowing the chances of pregnancy decrease with age I felt the pressure so at 37 we started trying month after month with no luck I started to worry but after 5 months we did get preg but sadly had mmc at 12w3d so massive shock and stress of doing it again. Again ttc 6mths this time but again mmc 12w+6d. I feel defeated but like you say there are people who struggle for years and dont have any kids. In all 5 months isnt a long time just feels like it when you want it badly.