Any more?

Hi, I have two beautiful healthy boys but really long for another member to join our family. (Boy or girl) The transition from 1 to 2 children has been more difficult than I expected with jealousy from both of them and juggling schools/nurseries/housework and work. From mums who have more than 2 beautiful babies what is it really like to have more? I am closely approaching the magical 40 and know that I have to consider everything and make my decision quickly and would like to hear from others on the good and bad points. My head says stop, two is plenty don't upset the balance. Think of cars, holidays, middle child issues etc. but my heart says come on girl just one more. Neither pregnancy or birth was easy or problem free which also worries me that if I tried again would I be fortunate enough to have the fantastic outcome I have had so far or would it be pushing my luck too far? But the right outcome would be sooooo worth it..... Please ladies some honest experiences and opinions gratefully received. Thanks :-)

2 Replies

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  • I only have one child so cannot comment on raising 3 children but as a middle child myself I can say I never felt left out so don't feel being the middle child should be problematic for your child as long as each child is treated the same and given one on one time they should be fine. My main reason for replying is that in your post you mention the magic 40, I would just like to say that I have met lots of mothers over the age of forty with their first borne who plan to have more so I feel that you may have a few more years left in which to think about this. What about your partners thoughts about having another?

  • Hi there

    I am 40 plus and expecting baby number 4, I am well and healthy so we did not see any good reasons why not have another one. Since you are 40, you do not have plenty of time to think about it to be honest. Having three as it is has been a good experience. The girls are 18, 7 and 3.5 and I have to say the 18 year old is a big help, so it does not feel that I have 3 children. The two little girls are best of friends and do get on a lot of the times but also do have times when they disagree which is all normal and part of growing up. Sometimes it was hectic when they were much younger as they got ill together and having all the other things that every family has to deal with. Having an extra one is not going to change much as we have discussed it and planned well ahead. The girls all went to meet peanut at 13 weeks scan a week ago and they are excited and hope another girl will join them but don't mind a boy. They already offered to bring mummy pamper and wipes for peanut! Having children later on in life for us is perfect, we are prepared for all eventualities. If you are well and your partner is supportive and wants the same as you don't let your age put you off. I am 14 weeks and thank God have been well so far, I had a few symptoms like nausea and excessive wind which bothered me for 4 weeks and have since all disappeared. Your 2 kids will I am sure welcome another sibling. I always tell mine that I have so much love for every single one of them and they are all very much loved regardless of their age or anything else. They are all happy and have never seen any of them having regrets or complaining about having siblings. As for having a big house hold, it all comes with experience and good planning. The girls have a routine which means everything goes according to clockwork and so mummy and Daddy has time to also catch up. I am very happy that I have my girls and counting and would not change a thing. I work part time in the evenings and Dad also works full time, having children is the best thing that has happened to us and we are grateful to God. Not following your dream is a terrible thing as you can reach a point and always wonder what if! Follow your heart and decide what is good for you and your family. It is only in Europe where some people raise eyebrows at older women still wanting to have more kids, in other parts of the world, it is normal and a daily occurrence. I wish you well and just don't leave it too long if that is what you really want. Wishing you all the best. XXX

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