I know im going on and on and have done throughout my pregnancy on here, since the weekend and my boyfriend returned to the Army after 2 weeks leave i cant get horrible thoughts out of my head, for the past few weeks i was beginning to finally enjoy my pregnancy, My little mans room is now all done and we have almost everything that we need for him.
The thing is now its getting close im getting a bit scared about labour, i know he has to come out one way and i will just have to deal with it when the time comes. Also im worried about still birth and letting my partner down, also cot death afterwards and i then get to thinking about him not growing anymore. Then theres all the stuff i have bought and how excited everyone is how will i face these things if something goes wrong.
Been thinking a lot about a friend of mine who got to term and went to the hospital as she couldnt feel her moving and they pretty much dismissed it and sent her home, she didnt give up tho and went back but her little girl had passed away. This is the same hospital i am due to have my little man at, How do you cope with something like that?, i love my little man so much already and this is scaring me so much now.
People keep commenting on how small i am aswell and that is concerning me loads, i had a growth scan at just over 30 weeks and all was ok but that was nearly 2 weeks ago what if something has gone wrong in the meantime.
Also at this scan they found glucose +++ (i think thats how you write it) in my urine and told me to check it again with the midwife last week, my midwife was angry the hospital did that as apparently they dont test for it anymore and wouldnt test it again
Im also really worried about the fall i had at 27 weeks and any delayed effect that may have also i burnt my lunch yesterday, i was in the smoke for a long time trying to clear it and my office is still very smoky today and im so concerned about the effect it may be having on my little man but its my fault that the office is in this condition
I have 17 working days left of work but if im honest its just dragging me down so much, short staffed and people shouting at me because of it, i cant bring my maternitiy leave forward as its too short notice.
Any advice on what i should do would be appreciated im a wreck and dont know where to turn
x x x