I’m a MS Warrior from Texas. I was diagnosed with MS in 2016 and been living with it for 8 years. When I was first diagnosed, I couldn’t relate to many of the support groups due to age and different experiences. And if I went to find pediatric groups, many lived out of State and was unable to travel (I’m more in-person or zoom to make friends face to face.)
As I’m navigating MS, it’s hard due to many of support groups are downtrodden, (don’t get me wrong I can empathize) but I am a person who wants to find access to finding joy in this journey as well.
In my career, I’ve made different transitions post grad in corporate. I realized I couldn’t continue due to stress. I’ve now entered into education and I absolutely love it! I’m also looking to travel more next year. My question is how do you navigate friendships and romantic relationships in the journey with MS?
I have a lot of faith and a believer, yet finding it difficult to connect in person due to Texas heat/being lethargic and making friends that accommodate activities with me.. It’s been a little difficult since graduating University. What tips or solutions would you recommend for navigating the dating and friendship space? A lot of people are married and have kids, others are settled, and busy. I’m looking to find support groups that assist in the area of connecting Young Adults with others who have MS, I’m already with CAN DO MS. Anything that comes to mind would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.
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EmpressArtist
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Hi EmpressArtist, and welcome! Love your attitude! This might be a good forum for you as there is a very diverse group on here. I understand what you're saying about in-person support groups. They can be tricky. I remember early on in my M.S. journey, I went to a local support group and lasted exactly one day. It was so depressing, that I never went back. Many years later, I found another group that was a good mix of people who enjoyed sharing info, but also enjoyed a good laugh. Sadly, that group disbanded, and I never found another one like it. Can't help you with any social scene advice, but I'm sure many on this forum can. All the best on your journey!🙂
Thank you so much for the advice. Yes I used to be apart of a MS water therapy and it closed due to Covid. Thankfully, I have some connections with CAN DO MS people I’ve met it’s nice. But I guess it’s hard to relate seasonally to them due to dating and hobbies. I definitely hope to find some friends here! It’s my first time on here so it’s exciting. 😊
Welcome! I can only think of the usuals; a social hobby, church/faith based community, and the gym. Maybe something will pan out in your new career move. If you are invited to something hot, an ice vest would help.
Sometimes there are dinners sponsored by drug companies (see their websites) and a neuro will present information. You may make a local MS friend that way. There are MS walks also.
Thanks for your response! Yes, the faith based community, ice vests, dinners (just attended one last Friday 😊) MS friends at the events are on lock! I’m going to be looking into a hobby and gym over the summer so I will be trying that for sure! I also signed up for public transportation if there are bad days for driving. I’m hopeful something will come to light. I will be honest I believe I had a hard time making healthy friendships due to being taken advantage of, so this summer it is something I will be working on. Thank you for your insight! It is much appreciated!✨
Welcome to the forum! I am delighted to hear that you have already tried aqua classes.. you are probably fine to even try Aqua classes at your local gym. I have found since I have been doing them regularly since 2021 that I have made a lot of friends from all walks of life..even two people that have MS. I am now addicted as my body feels so much better when I do these classes and in the water, I am enabled! Although I had MS symptoms when I was in high school I did not get diagnosed until I was in my 30s. I feel like this forum has such an amazing group of people who are wise and educated regarding a lot of different things not just MS. I hope to see more of you and wishing you the best of luck making new friends..😊
Yes I absolutely loved it when I was in it and made some really great people. I’m hoping to try it again over this summer and try it out with some other classes as well. Thank you for the encouragement! Would love to connect on other exercise activities you might recommend!
I look forward to connecting with you whenever it good for you. Maybe if we talk about what sort of limitation do you have at this point if any I can try to help you figure out a good direction to go in. I have tried to be super active for as long as I can. Feel free to send me a message on chat if you’re not comfortable talking about it in front of everyone. I look forward to talking to you soon 😊
Welcome! It sounds like you are a very outgoing, positive person. With the activities you are doing or are going to do, you will meet lots of people. Whether these people become acquaintances, friends to have fun with, or people to share a personal interest with, is the easy part. You don't need to tell them about your health if you don't wish to. When you find someone that you would love to get really close with, that is when the "when do I tell them" thing happens. There is no need to rush into it, but if you wait too long it can become harder. Trust your gut, you will know when the time is right. In a dating, romantic situation, let things develop to see if there is potential. I would say that as soon as you feel this relationship is becoming important to you, they have a good sense of who you are, now they need to know more, it is time to share. I went through this with my boyfriend (now husband) 30 years ago. It was so different and scary, feeling I had a secret. But my priorities in a partner had changed somewhat and I found a solid, stand up man. Great group of people here, BTW.
Welcome to this forum, EmpressArtist ! I noticed that many in this forum has given you great suggestions. All I can think of is perhaps look into a dating site called It’s Just Lunch. I have had a few coworkers tell me that it was a way to meet people in a relaxed atmosphere. Mind you, this was back in the ‘80s. On another note, you sound like a very sweet person with such a sunny disposition! I look forward to hearing more from you. Keep Smiling
Omggg thank you so much! This is very helpful! I’ve actually never heard of this site before but I’m open to trying it out. As I am looking to be a teacher my schedule during fall is very hectic in my cohort (not during summer which is great) but also impedes with MS. So someone who can potentially work with me would be a blessing and understanding of my teaching schedule long hours and days. It is rewarding watching students succeed though! Thank you for this amazing suggestion! 😊✨
Sorry for the late reply! I don’t have much my art is more poetry, songs, and I am a drummer. 😊 But I am looking to go more into the painting space soon. I used to weld also. Since work was a lot I kind of went into less time with things I love and enjoy but this summer and fall I’m working on filming more! This is a collage the students and I worked on this week for inclusion in my class! 🙂
So you're a teacher! Very creative with the students! Is that your wheelchair that was decorated? Art comes in many forms. It sounds like you're filled with creativity.
Thank you! I’m actually not a teacher but a teacher assistant. I am working to become a teacher and in a cohort currently. 🙂 I work with special needs children and this is actually one of my students. He’s in a wheelchair and so we found a way for him to be included for career week! 😊 I’ve learned a lot about creativity from teachers they’ve been very helpful to use what you have.
Thank you for the welcome Greentime! I sincerely appreciate the perspective on this, it is very helpful. In todays world, it is difficult with this culture. At least from the Young Adult space. Thank you again for the support and inclusive space for sharing. 😊
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