Right brain lesions

[agapepilgrim]

I thought right brain demyelination, lesions, loss of nerve connections, etc, mostly meant loss of short term memory and control of emotions. I knew the last MRI neurologist said I list more right brain usage which caused my excessive outbursts of anger, but the latest damage is causing some serious problems in communication and decision making and executive order (doing things in proper order). All the MS lesions are in my right side brain, progressing. Found this article which I shared with hubby after he gave my dog away before we made mutual decision. Broke my heart but he said she was stressful For me with her health problems. I wanted to ask if he was going to put me away when I became stressful to him. Not a good day. Just feeling dead inside my head. Ever just feel dead in your brain?

[jimeka]

I do sometimes wonder what is going on 😂 too many little mistakes , big hug 🤗

[rjoneslaw]

sorry for the dog but you do need to try to limit your stress

no I have never felt dead.

I hope things get better for you

[agapepilgrim in reply to rjoneslaw]

I mean it’s like I don’t respond to anything, sometimes with no emotion, no verbal response, it’s like what the person said or did doesn’t register in my brain. That’s what I meant. I just don’t have the words to explain any more. And I used to be an amateur writer, and quite verbally passionate. A zombie. Oh well. Enough. Nothing matters anyway. It doesn’t change the damage of the Mousy little Monster slowly eating my brain. I will now aim for my 2 am shut down electronics limit.

[rjoneslaw in reply to agapepilgrim]

I understand

[agapepilgrim in reply to rjoneslaw]

Thank you. My family, especially my husband, sure doesn’t. “You shouldn’t leave that cabinet door open “ (like, I don’t know that!). “You shouldn’t leave paper on the stove. ( did I ever do that before 3 months ago?!). Does he really think it does any good to tell me what I’m doing wrong? I see what I’m doing wrong - later! I see and feel the burns on my arm from my autonomic nervous system not working!👹 “you left the light on again”. Sorta, ruining our relationship. How can he think I’m do these things on purpose? One day I asked him if I ever did these things in the past 48 years of marriage,?or could it possibly be MS damage and it’s a waste of breathe sand humiliation to keep to remind me of how stupid I am acting! And then tell me I can’t take care of my dog and give it away?? I told him to just put me away. Course I didn’t mean it. I would rent a small apt for low income and live by myself but he loves me and it won’t go there. Just venting. I need to pray more for grace and love and strength. Another area that is fading fast.

[Hidden in reply to agapepilgrim]

Agapepilgrim,

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Vent all you need to.

None of us like to hear what we are doing wrong....

Positive words are always better to hear!

[Morllyn in reply to agapepilgrim]

Maybe he could go with you to a visit with your MS doctor, then the doctor can explain the issues that your MS is causing.?❤️

[agapepilgrim in reply to Morllyn]

He has before but it all goes over his head. He will say that he didn’t hear the doc say that👹

[Morllyn in reply to agapepilgrim]

😔❤️

[Goldilockssearching in reply to agapepilgrim]

I get the feeling of things not feeling as they should or once did. Seems like anger, disgust or simply not caring is my daily state of being. I do not have any other emotions. No matter what I do to try & change it, I just get more of the same.

It is not who I was. My husband tells me I’ve changed personality wise. I’m tired of being asked what’s wrong all the freakin time!!

My kids & husband come to me in passing for hugs & say I love you everyday (my boys even at 14 & 16) and it absolutely kills me bc I’ve got nothing 🤷‍♀️ I just give the lip service of love you too and pull away. I certainly don’t ever initiate the interactions. It’s difficult to explain. I don’t want to react that way. When my youngest was little, he used to think his middle name was love you 😂

I don’t dare tell the Neuro bc she’ll probably dismiss it as not being MS related and pawn it off as depression-which it is not-it’s very different.

I also am finding I get lost/confused when watching TV at times. I need to ask my husband questions or have him explain things to me. If he needs me to do the same bc he missed something I have trouble relaying what I just saw to him & tell him to just rewind it.

What are we to do?

[agapepilgrim in reply to Goldilockssearching]

You so nailed it - exactly how I feel and my problems so it must be MS!!thats why I love this forum. Yep, some days I just don’t care about life. Let the weeds take over the flowers I don’t care. Or I respond with such anger I feel like there is a stranger inside me! And some days I’m totally disgusted with whom I have become. He chose to start doing the laundry and shrunk some things (even tho I sorted and labeled), first angry, then who cares.

And so true about tv and movies! I cannot follow a plot anymore! And if ask him, depends on his mood if he explains or says, it doesn’t matter, let’s just watch the movie. “ then I want to cry or scream. But I gave no tears left. Maybe I’m dehydrated 🤣🤣🤣. Thanks for listening

[Morllyn]

Like Jimeka said, “Big Hug”!🤗

[greaterexp]

Big, gentle hugs.

[Violonchelo]

Yes. Stressful because a person with MS means that is no normal and more if you live with your parents. I don’t care of the opinions of the others, but sometimes I stressful for this in my brain.

[agapepilgrim in reply to Violonchelo]

And I can’t adjust to this shrinking brain because it keeps SHRINKING 👹👹

[Violonchelo in reply to agapepilgrim]

Is interesting