Good Morning family, today we shall continue our thinking exercises. My writings are never meant to do anything more than make “YOU” think about your situations and perhaps give “YOU” some food for thought beyond our health calamities. Yes, there is no doubt that Relapsing-Remitting ms (RRms) can be a calamity to our body and our spirit, BUT I will always say that this is bad BUT “YOU” can do something about it.
“YOU”, can look at yourself and say “I want to change”. “YOU” do not have too, the decision is yours. “YOU” can spend the next many years of your life, wallowing in that cold dark wet dungeon of RRms OR “YOU” can start looking around your life, and say Hmm I have a long way to go why do I not try to do something with myself? Seriously, why do “YOU” not do something with yourself. There is no need to meet or exceed anybodies expectations. Merely meet your own. As somebody who has ms for a long time I will say those expectations and desires will change over the years. Let them, do not hold onto anything so tightly that it breaks or it breaks “YOU”. There is not much that it is so important that it can not be let go. I would suggest that relationships are that important, but I feel a true relationship never falls away if it is strong enough, and “YOU” find out if it is by trying to let it go. If “YOU” try and can not let go, maybe it is strong enough and is important. If it withers and dies, maybe not so critical. Does that make any sense to “YOU”, can “YOU” think about your relationships and say, that was trivial and weak. It hurts to let go and to be abandoned, but it is best for me now that at it is gone. “YOU” may not see or feel this way at first, but it will come.
Like many things with this illness. I of all people NEVER thought I could do needles let alone self-inject, but overtime I did. Remember I am a HUGE CRYBABY when it comes to needles. Give yourself a chance to see how strong and resilient “YOU” really are, “YOU” very well might be very surprised. Have dreams, desires and aspirations. Change them again and again as your years pass by. Not many things are so important that they can not change, actually I have found those really unanticipated changes can be really good fun. Scary at first, but they do make great memories and most of them I am glad I had. Even if to anybody else they are slight and insignificant. They are part of me and make me me, Just like yours make “YOU”, “YOU”.
Can “YOU” see that? What happens to “YOU”. Your dreams and aspirations make “YOU, “YOU”, and that is not a bad thing. Have those hopes, make an attempt. Fail, but at least “YOU’ tried. SUCCEED and say loudly from the rooftops I DID IT. I have many years with RRms. I was once told I would be dead within a year, that there was no hope for me. Many years later I am saying this to “YOU”. An older lady very wisely told me to cry when I needed to, but this illness does not have to crush “YOU”. Stick with it take your medicine (Disease-Modifying Therapy DMT) and wake up every day ready to live again. Some nights it was very difficult, but that always rings in my head. Others have done this, “YOU” an d I can as well.
Sometimes I am scared, but I have “YOU” to talk to and “YOU” have me. I will not laugh at “YOU”. I will try to understand your fears. Not all of them I will, but I will try and I will not think less of “YOU” for having them. I understand if things change, if “YOU” seem to be running (WALKING) in circles. There is no instruction book for RRms, nobody says exactly what to do. I am sorry, but we all are a little different we all have to find our own particular way, and that way can change over the years.
Royce (the ms writer)
look for your way today
