Fighting

[kvw_zkw]

Trying to overcome the depression, wish I had a family that cared. It's hard all on your own.

[greaterexp]

kvw_zkw , I am sorry that you feel so alone without good family support. It's so hurtful to have relatives, but none that can or will be helpful to you.

I know it isn't quite the same, but I've found such wonderful support here from folks who really understand my thoughts, feelings, struggles, and fears.

My own sweet husband has lately realized that his family only has the appearance of closeness, but in reality, he can only have superficial relationships with them. It's painful for him, but he is recognizing that he has many surrogate brothers and sisters in my family and in our church family who love him as he is and will truly be there for him.

I pray you will find others who will love you unconditionally and who will support you. Please do talk with your doctor about the depression before it gets any worse. There are so many options to treat it, so we need not suffer on our own.

Do you have a local MS support group?

I hope you remember that here you are important, and we are here for you, even if it isn't in person.

You're in my prayers, and I hope you will let us know when you need us and to let us know how you're doing. We care.

[kvw_zkw in reply to greaterexp]

Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I have my son and his girlfriend, who I am ever so thankful for. I've come to realize everything truly does happen for a reason.

I never hear from my brother or sister. My father moved to another state last year and doesn't comprehend what I am telling about my health.

MY own friends are all to busy we their own lives to notice, but has made me realize a lot of things.

I am seeing a therapists and after the EEG we will talk about meds for depression. Just miss being myself a lot.

Thank you again.

[agapepilgrim]

kvw_zkw someone who is where I am!! It's great to know you are not alone going through exact feeling, pain and heartbreak at same time. Forum is great but we are human and would appreciate a real hug once a day, or week. I have fought "severe depression" and PTSD for a long long time before dx with MS, and have been on 8 different anti-depressants anti-anxiety, but all only make me worse. Shrink says I am an uncommon patient! Lol. My neurologist told me last visit unless I schedule with a new one (been 10 years) he can't help me. So here we go again. This depression, with a unknown physical future (neurologist said my "type" leads to Alzheimer's with no help for it, and then friends and family withdrawing "we don't want to disturb you", it is truly a lonely road to walk. If Jesus wasn't walking with me along my own Calvary road, I couldn't make it. I know what the new shrink will say, what meds will be tried again, and I'm just too emotionally fragile to listen to them again. The best thing I can tell you is that God loves you and you are not spiritually alone. Peace lies in acceptance. One shrink told me the difference between my expectations and my reality equals the depth of my depression. No truer words were ever spoken. I expected support, and there is none hence the deeper depression than I have ever known. Another shrink told me if it wasn't for my sense of humor and seeing the ridiculous hilarious traumas bring out in people around us and laughing inwardly at their total lack of understanding, I would have been committed long ago. I was on the phone with a Biogen nurse "checking on me" and she sounded so compassionate I made the mistake of telling her how I really felt and crying and she had the complete lack of empathy to tell me to go to ER right that moment, be evaluated and committed. I had to put my husband on the phone to assure her I wasn't suucidal and my emotions get out of control due to MS. She still said she had to advise me that and hung up. That happened twice this year! The other one was going to call EMTs and forcibly have me "evaluated " I gave him my daughters phone number 300 miles away and somehow she convinced him I was not suucidal. I am sooo very tired of it all!!! I finally called a shrink that insurance covered, saw her that night for 3 hours, and she determined I am NOT bi-polar has diagnosed but have PTSD and just need a listening counselor and wrote down that conclusion with her dr name so I could present if to whomever needed. But, upon leaving, I felt like WOW someone understands, and said could I give you a hug for helping me so late at night? She backed up and said we are not allowed to touch our patients." What a cruel lonely place thus world has become. Just letting you know we have walked in your shoes. Find a good social counselor who understands MS and I hope she will allow hugs! God vecwurh you.

Judi

[kvw_zkw in reply to agapepilgrim]

I'm sorry for your loveliness, and yes that's how I feel. I have a therapist and she does help, l have my son and his girlfriend, who live with me. But whats the point oc a brother, a sister a father w ho dfont care.

[agapepilgrim in reply to kvw_zkw]

kvw_zkw i thank God you don’t have to live alone. I hope you have a compassionate son. My siblings and parents never had compassion for other health problems, so that didn’t surprise me. Who I thought were friends have left me alone and that surprised me and naturally hurts as you know. And if my medical knowledge Tespiratory Therapist gives me one more piece of off the wall advice I’m gonna quit answering the phone. My husband never was compassionate nor knows what empathy means. But God does. And my best friend is Jesus!

[kvw_zkw in reply to agapepilgrim]

My son is a good boy and I am thank for him. I tell him he was my gift from God. As for my father and siblings, it hurts very much, two monthsago my sister broke her foot, I didn't think twice about calling her askingif she needed anything did she need help. That s just who i am. But I haven't heard a word from her.

[Sukie427]

kvw_zkw , it is hard enough going through what we go through without having to do it either without family, or worse, with a family who simply don't care. But please don't feel alone. You've got people all over this website who DO care, and since we come from everywhere in the world there is always bound to be somebody on line available to chat when you need it. Have you tried seeking help from government agencies in your community, such as crisis intervention centers or services for ill and/or elderly people? There might even be a community center to which you can go just to talk to other people or they might even have counseling. There may even be help available from community volunteers who will visit you in person and try to help you through whatever is on your mind at the moment. And you should not be ashamed of feeling this way. Unfortunately, depression often goes hand-in-hand with MS, and you might want to seek help from a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental health provider who can help you cope. Good luck to you and I hope that you feel much better soon. Sukie 427

[WAshingtongirl]

kvw_zkw , others here have given you excellent advice. I'm happy to hear you are--and will continue to seek help. Sometimes we just can't do it alone.

Thankful you have your son and his girlfriend there, but so sorry to hear about the rest of your family and friends. Praying your professional needs are met, and you are able to build new friendships here and on a local level through an MS, community or church group. Please update us. Don't suffer in silence alone. 💕

[kvw_zkw in reply to WAshingtongirl]

You are awesome thank you for the love❤

[CloverPrincess]

Stay strong!

You are awesome

[kvw_zkw in reply to CloverPrincess]

Thank YOU for the love

[CalfeeChick CommunityAmbassador]

kvw_zkw you have friends here that care for You!! Let us be a support system for you. Please consider us as family and friends. If it gets tough, call a local hospital and ask about support groups. We’re all fighting the MS monster. I’m that we are all togetherness😊🙏Lynn

[Doubled51]

@Kvw_zkw. You do have family and friends who care. Here we are. We all are going thru these roughtimes of ms together. We may be some distance apart but we are all still together when we need each other. When you need someone just ask and some of us are always around. God loves you and we love you. Blessings.

Donnie

[kvw_zkw in reply to Doubled51]

Thank you, there are really great people here and I appreciate the support❤

[mrsmike9]

Give the meds a chance when they give them. It will take several weeks for them to kick in. Do I sound like I know what I'm talking about? It's because I do. My family has a history of depression going back generations. My brother and uncle both committed suicide and my sister attempted it. Life is tough enough without depression creeping in.

I have 2 sisters who live their lives and don't encourage me or seem to care. My mom is 95 and doesn't know who I am anymore. I know what you mean when it hurts when siblings get caught up in their own lives and don't see past that. You are a blessed person who can see outward and can help others. You will never change them, but you can change your reaction to them. I'm discovering how much that is true right now in my own life with my oldest sister. It does help and takes the burn out.

Lean on those who you trust. Then you won't be let down. Just have the siblings skim the surface of your life as you can't trust them with the deeper things. Perhaps they're afraid for you and are protecting themselves from hurt that they see in you? Either way, they're not supportive so keep that in mind and only call on those who can help you.

Strength to you, my friend...

[Nom_De_Plume]

Kvw_zkw

Hi 👋🏼,

I echo the sentiment in the above replies. 😊

It can be a tough road, and the heartbreak you feel regarding other people can be an unexpected and painful blow when you’re already down from having MS. I’m really sorry. 😔

Probably not what you want to hear, but consider yourself lucky that you do have the capacity for empathy, and you do feel compassion for others. It is a gift and a beautiful thing. Pray, if you are so inclined, that your non-empathic family members will grow in this area. It must be miserable to be that way?

One last bit of info not yet covered is: are you on any of the interferons? They are known to “cause” (or increase the risk of) depression in some people. If you are on an IFN, please discuss this with your doctor.

Depression is, unfortunately, VERY common with MS, so please seek out the support you need, in various forms. The more the better! It sounds like you are well on your way. Kudos.

Hugs 🤗

Lisa

[kvw_zkw in reply to Nom_De_Plume]

Lisa

Thank you so much your your words and encouragement. I truly love this platform and the support that it provides.

With that said I did see my PVP today for the depression and he has ordered new meds.

Tomorrow is my EEG and nect week my lumbar puncture.

So hope is in sight

Thanks again❤

[Nom_De_Plume in reply to kvw_zkw]

@kvw_zkw

Great! 👍🏻 Good luck with your new medicine, the EEG, and the LP! 🍀😀