I'm new at this

[serendippity]

I am a caregiver of a MS person. Seeking ideas/guidelines to understanding the disconnect between realtime and what is going on in the thinking department. How do I reach through the fog that seems to be consuming

[downrigger]

First of all every case of MS is about as unique as snowflakes so the path through my fog may not be the same as your patient.

To really get me to "hear" what she has to say, 1. get rid of any distraction, that can be as simple as a conversation in an adjacent room, but for sure turn off tv or radio. 2. have the individual say it back to you, the right idea not word for word. 3. If it's real important have them write it down casually check to see they wrote the right times, doses etc. 4.if it's entertainment just relax, but still remove distractions. At least that works for me. (usually)

[cloudbear in reply to downrigger]

We are all differebt it depends on what stage of ms the patient has

[serendippity in reply to downrigger]

Thanx. Input is so helpful since I have been elected to take this journey with NO road map

[erash]

serendippity ty for caring enough to share here nd ask this.

I'm not quite sure what the challenges are that you're facing but for me, patience is important. Understanding that if I repeat myself, forget something etc. I didn't do it on purpose or because I was lazy.

Helping with logical decision making (rather than telling what to do).

Staying calm and adding laughter help to alleviate my stress and this allows me to think mor clearly.

I'm thankful my husband does all of these things for me and makes me feel like I'm still a whole person 💕

[serendippity in reply to erash]

One recent incident was the person was telling me the correct answer, but couldn't carry thru creating the results. I got so frustrated I just walked away. They don't deserve to be blown up at. I REFUSE to tell what to do. I feel that is degrading IF I tell/demand/request something to be done. I Spend a lot of time asking questions, getting the correct answer, but on "BAD" days carry thru doesn't happen. I work hard at making jokes about myself, Making it look like I am something that came out of a cracker jacks box. They chuckle, but the disconnect maintains and my frustration increases.

[DogMamma]

Serendippity, as mentioned MS is as individual as each individual. The one thing I have found as caregiver to my husband and friend to my best friend (since we were 18). Yes, both my husband and my best friend have MS. Husband diagnosed 2004. My best friend, 1998. Only caregiver to husband. This is what I have found/learned. Fatigue seems to be the common thread. Everything that they do, everything effects level of energy. Tiredness that will require they must lay down a bit or even all afternoon or all day. At first not as bad as it is now. Nerve Pain can come out of no where. Found that doctors are all to eager to blame all ailments on MS. You must educate yourself to watch for everything different. Do your best to assist when needed, but step back so not to take independence away. MS can slowly creep up or it can take away immediately. MS becomes y'alls way of life. Talk about EVERYTHING. MS must be considered in all you do as a couple or as an individual. Cannot fight MS, but never let MS win! Stay as up to date as possible. Internet has been a lifesaver. Work with doctors as a team. Have backup. AND - Take care of yourself, take time for yourself. No Matter How Little. This is not easy. None of this is easy. But love and caring is all I have.

[Midgey_Midge06 in reply to DogMamma]

That is so sweet and so perfect. Your husband and best friend are lucky to have you. 💜💜

[DogMamma in reply to Midgey_Midge06]

Thank you. Before as well as after MS, I was the lucky one.

[greaterexp]

If your patient is generally "with it," it may help to ask them directly what causes them the most problems with cognition and ask what helps them most. He/she may not know for certain, but may have more insight than seems obvious. The other suggestions are terrific!

We wish you well in your caregiving!

[serendippity]

Thanx. "with it" isn't normal. Do for me seems to be the norm, and I refuse. They say they don't want me to do, but yet they act like I should. Consequently I say confused

[StacyHayward in reply to serendippity]

I wonder if there is a secondary health issue causing problems.