My MS Financial Mess ...

[alliepoirier]

Has anyone else completely destroyed their finances due to MS brain fog, complete loss of control over finances?

Before my most severe relapse in 2013, I had a credit score that was AWESOME, I was on top of my bills, never missed a payment on anything ..... and suddenly started to forget to pay some bills, and slowly but surely, I have gotten myself into a financial mess. I honestly dont even know how I did this ... I was so proud of my credit score, and my discipline, and now ... I am not only ashamed, I am embarrassed, and I am working to try to dig out of it, and recover my self respect.

I qualify for disability retirement at work, but cannot afford to live on that, so I am working full time, and yes, it is hard, because my MS is progressing, and I am really tired.

I am the breadwinner, and I carry the health insurance through work, so I cannot retire.

What is really hard is knowing that I had everything under control, and now I dont. I am just so amazed at what I have done, if you asked me to explain it, I couldnt even begin to understand it, never mind explain it.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of mess? I think it started with extreme brain fog, and then apathy, I just dont know. It is so not what I used to be like. This is the new me, and Im not happy about it.

Any advice?

[Morllyn]

We have most of the bills, that are the same amount each month, directly taken out of our bank account. This simplifies our bills and makes sure that they are payed on time. Things that are not the same amount each month, like our credit card, our part of doctor bills, etc. we call and pay with the credit card. My husband does most of this but I pay the credit card, each month, on line.

If you have a partner/husband maybe they can handle the bills.

Sorry that this has happened to you.

[Fancy1959]

Hello alliepoirier, It's Fancy1959 and I don't believe we have spoken before so I would like to welcome you to this wonderful chat room. You have found a safe place to come and voice concerns like you just did, ask questions, or simply speak to someone else who has Ms and truly understand what you are going through. This chat room is full of some of the kindest most caring and compassionate people I have ever met. I'm so very glad you found us and have joined our extended family. As Morilyn said, I do believe getting your bills setup on a monthly automatic withdrawal will take a lot of the burden all of you. You say that you wore the Breadwinner and carry the insurance so that leads me to believe there is another adult in your home. Could you possibly enlist their help to sit down with you every month at a certain time and date and make sure all your bills are sent out promptly and on time. I was in the exact same spot in as much I carried the insurance for the family and felt the same pressure to stay working because of the money I made and the insurance. It got to a place though that I knew the job was doing my MS a lot harm. The decision finally was made that I had to leave work or my job would kill me and I would die working. It's a personal decision when you realize that your job is detrimental to your MS and how far you can push yourself before you stop working. Perhaps everyone in your household that brings in an income can sit down together and put pencil to paper and figure out exactly what your bills cost every month and compare that to what your household monthly income is. Maybe it's time to cut back on some non-essential items and trim your budget so you can stop working before your MS is affected but all the stress you must be going through. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are fairing. Remember together we are stronger. Perhaps others in the chat room will give you other ideas that can help you solve your financial problems. Take care and keep your stress level as low as possible.

[CalfeeChick CommunityAmbassador]

Yes, I have always done the books, but it's getting more challenging every month. I have put everything on a auto bill pay with my bank but that is new to me only a few weeks so I find myself constantly double checking it to make sure the bank has paid stuff. Now my challenge is to teach my PC illiterate husband how to follow up and check things on the computer. Sure hope you can get someone to assist you. it's just something we need to do dealing with MS and any other things that interrupt our clarity. Lynn

[WAshingtongirl]

alliepoirier , you've touched on a subject that a number of us struggle with. I still do the bills, etc., but have asked my husband for help. I mess up and make simple addition/subtraction errors. I once spent two hours trying to reconcile my checkbook with the bank statement. And because I'm hardheaded and wanted to find my error, I totally exhausted myself mentally and started crying before I admitted defeat and asked my husband to help.

starlight5 hit the nail on the head for me. That is why I had to give up office work. Everyday I went into work feeling like I was reinventing the wheel. I couldn't remember how to do something from one day to the next. The stress was overwhelming. I was so upset with myself.

Like Morllyn , I have everything, that can be, on autopay. And as someone else here said (Fancy1959 or CalfeeChick ?), I think it may be time to ask for help. It sounds like you are carrying a ton of responsibility. I'm sorry for the loss in credit, and getting behind on things, but mostly, I feel for you and the weight of all you carry upon yourself right now. I pray you find someone to help carry the load. 💕

[WAshingtongirl in reply to WAshingtongirl]

P.S. I do mental work in the morning, before I get too tired. I've learned not to do it later in the day. 😬

[alliepoirier in reply to WAshingtongirl]

@tutu thank you so much for your helpful insight, I agree, I am much better in the morning with mental work

[alliepoirier in reply to WAshingtongirl]

Morllyn CalfeeChick Fancy1959 WAshingtongirl starlight5 - thanks for all of your kindness, this really is an amazing community, it helps a lot to be able to discuss these things with people that really get it you are all amazing!!

[greaterexp]

I'm so sorry for your troubles. I am glad you brought this up, however, since so many of us struggle with cognitive issues.

My husband has zero interest in doing the bills, and was so glad that I took that over when we married. He gets very anxious in dealing with money. Now I have problems with cognition. I still oayvtge bills, but during my relapse I found I had paid a couple bills twice, which can be a dangerous thing!

When I felt better, I made a checklist for how to pay bills, which ones are autopay, and which are not routine, etc., and how each are paid. I don't know if it will get him over his anxiety, but I also shared my plan with my youngest son, the last child at home. After he leaves in a few months, I'll show my sister where to find everything. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, right? I hope I can continue, but want to feel assured that things will be taken care of if I am unable.

I hope you can sort out your finances and get back on track. I pray you have support people who will help.

[Raingrrl]

Hi alliepoirier ! I was already using some techniques to make sure that I was staying on top of my bills and had a really good FICO score. I found out recently, the hard way, that what I was doing wasn't enough and my score dropped by over 50 points. Not good when you are trying to get a loan to buy a house! I was so upset when I found this out!

Consequently, I've added a couple of things to my memory prompts. Between constant fatigue, brain fog and memory issues, its a wonder I get anything done on time! I live solo, (prefer that label to single or divorced), so I have no one to take on this task for me.

My bills are divided into two parts: ones I pay in the first half of the month and ones I pay in the second half. I have a spread sheet that I use to keep track of what I've paid and the date it's due. Since I'm not working, I lose track of what day it is so I now have reminders built into my phone calendar to remind me to pay the bills. I have the spreadsheet open while I use my bank's online feature to get my bills paid so that I update it as I pay everything. This might sound like a lot of extra work but it really is simple. I've been using the spreadsheet for many years and just create a new one each January so that it only contains one calendar year at a time.

[alliepoirier in reply to Raingrrl]

@raingrrl This is a great idea, I love spreadsheets, I love it