life. To wear or not to wear

[Cat1001954]

I would love to hear from people of a mature age like me who have sex but do not wear condoms and how long they have been not using them thank you

[DottyDaisy]

HI Cat.

Mature - yes

Sex - not a lot in later years.

Condoms - we never did in more than 50 decades.

I wasn't actually diagnosed until after he died, but I don't think we would ever have thought to consider it.

[Cat1001954 in reply to DottyDaisy]

oh bless you dotty sorry you lost hubby. Lovely to hear from you it’s only because I’m scared my drug might hurt him xx

[DottyDaisy in reply to Cat1001954]

And bless you, too, Cat. I like to think he's up there keeping an eye on me, as I am still not very good at doing "sensible". Hence Dotty Daisy at best, but often Crazy Daisy.

If it's the meds that concern you, hen I'm afraid I can be of no help to you.

But there's a delightful young pharmacologist up at Guy's called Llewelyn. He seems to know everything. I'm sure he would advise .

[Cat1001954 in reply to DottyDaisy]

aww thank you so much x

[friendofpiglet in reply to DottyDaisy]

50 decades? Some mistake surely!

Reminds me of the old joke about two old chaps in a pub:

Chap 1: "When was the the last time you had sex?"

Chap 2: "Nineteen fifty five"

Chap 1: "Blimey, that's a long time!"

Chap 2: "Oh I don't know, it's only half past eight now"

As all we old folk know, the old ones are the best! ,👍

[DottyDaisy in reply to friendofpiglet]

Indeed you are right. I think I must have meant 5 decades.

[hunter5582]

When I was married, we never used condoms. That includes those time periods when I was on HU. We also did not know about the warning on this issue. I doubt we would have heeded it.

My take on it is that this is about informed consent. You need to understand the risk/benefit profile of HU in deciding to take it. Your husband needs to understand the intrinsic risk of protected sex if you are on HU. It is great that you want to protect him, but ultimately it is his choice.

Speaking as a male, I would offer this perspective. Condom use reduces sensation/pleasure/satisfaction for men but does not eliminate it. HU poses a risk during unprotected sexual activity, but likely a small risk. Is the downside of using condoms worth the level of protection it offers? This is something for each couple to decide together.

I would also note that your husband is a very lucky man. He is blessed to have a partner who cares and is invested in an active and healthy life together. We should all be so blessed!.

[Cat1001954 in reply to hunter5582]

this message bought a year to my eyes such a lovely message you have reassured me so much yes the points you made are why my hubby hates condoms. Thank you so so much I’m humbled have a lovely day xx

[Cat1001954 in reply to Cat1001954]

what a beautiful message

[bloby]

About to start the hydroxycarbomide...wondering anout this too.

[Cat1001954 in reply to bloby]

hi you can still see my question from last year. After being diagnosed last august at 68. We still do not use condoms just wash straight after but no oral sex my hubby has up to now showed no symptoms or bad things from this x

[bloby in reply to Cat1001954]

Thank you.