Meningitis

[Marior]

Hello my mom has bacterial meningitis she been in coma for 9 days doctor say they did all they can do but she breathes on her on she is 59 any suggestions don't know what too do just praying

[StrawberryCream]

Hi Marior

I am so sorry to hear that your mum is in a coma with Bacterial Meningitis. I had Bacterial meningitis and my coma was 3 weeks. I was going into a coma when the ambulance took me to the hospital and once in A&E I was sedated as well. During that time several attempts were made to lighten my sedation and bring me out of the coma but each attempt failed and I had to be re sedated as I became very agitated apparently. The coma is necessary to enable the body to put its energy into fighting the infection. I was also in my 50's and everyone was told that it was most likely I would die or at best be mentally and physically disabled. The doctors will always give the worse scenario but that does not mean that will be the outcome but they won't give false hope. And here I am responding to your post! You need to take each day at a time and notice any very small signs of improvement. At the moment a positive is that she is beathing on her own. Some people's comas are even longer than mine. Bacterial Meningitis is a very serious illness and her recovery will be very slow and very long. At the moment when you are with her keep talking to her as often people are still hearing even though they are in a coma. Touch is good too and massaging cream into her hands and arms. At this time it so emotionally difficult for those of you by her bedside watching and waiting but do not give up with hope as she needs more time yet.

Please do let us know how things are progressing. Perhaps you might find it helpful to share a bit about what happened leading up to your mums coma?

Very best wishes

[Schmooschmoo in reply to StrawberryCream]

Hi StrawberryCream,

I hope Marior doesn't mind me asking you a question on his/her post thread.

Is it true that in a coma that the patient can hear those around them? If so, would doctors not follow this train of thought? Do you have any memories of being in a coma? My mum was in a coma (induced) with BM and the ICU Dr's were appalling and spoke terribly over her patient bed. (I thought perhaps I'd watched too many movies where the dr gives the patient's family bad news after asking them to leave the room to 'discuss' in consideration of the patient). I genuinely thought the Dr's should have asked me to come 'outside' (the room) before saying the things they said & it's always bothered me that mum may have been able to hear & now that you have stated that patients can, it's made me feel sick in the stomach again.

Just interested in your experience.

Thanks,

Mel

[StrawberryCream in reply to Schmooschmoo]

Hi Mel

It is certainly true that some patients can hear what is going on around them when in a coma and will talk about what they heard once out of the coma and that it fits with what did happen. However, that is not how it is for everyone. I have no memory of hearing anything said to me when I was in my coma although I know, because she told me, that my best friend sat having a one sided conversation, most days, of our lives since we met aged 11 yrs! The ICU were amazed how she keep the chat going to me! When I came out of the coma I was initially very deaf to the spoken word and all I could hear was this big painful racket going on in my ears and couldn't filter anything out, so I think that is why I couldn't hear anything when in my coma. Maybe it depends of why people are in a coma as to whether they can hear or not eg brain or some other part of the body. However, usually ICU knows of the possibility and so will encourage visitors to talk to the person in the coma. Touch is important too and so my friends were encouraged to massage lotion into my hands and arms, feet and legs. Again I don't myself have any memory of that. But I had post traumatic amnesia and retrograde amnesia. My memory has been completely wiped for a period of at least a year before my illness and I remember nothing of the day I became ill and was blue'do and two'd in an ambulance. Nothing has since triggered that lost year of more of memory! The only thing I do remember is what I can only explain as an 'out of body experience' when I nearly crossed to the other side - death. Whether the doctors spoke as they usually do on other wards when doing a 'ward round', I don't know. I thought that these days it is well understood by NHS ICU staff that patients can sometimes still hear when in a coma but your experience suggests that not everywhere!

I am saddened for you Mel that you have been left feeling upset for your mum that she may have heard things said around her that it would have been kinder to have discussed away from the bedside. I don't think there is a way to know for sure who can hear and who can't when in a coma so it would be good practice to assume that everyone can so mistakes aren't made.

Best wishes

Caroline

[Schmooschmoo in reply to StrawberryCream]

Hi Caroline,

Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your personal experience. I very much appreciate it.

I've seen many of your replies to others and its great that you are a survival story. I am shocked to hear that you have lost a whole year of your memory, that's really hard to imagine & is an example of how serious an illness meningitis is, that those who appear to have recovered well are not left in tact completely. It did not steal your writing skills and intelligence from what I read and hear from you.

Yes, I was certainly in disbelief at the time, it was the Dr's that I have struggled with. One would have thought that, given their profession, that they, above all others, would have exercised caution when speaking about the 'patient' (who happened to be my mum). I know that if I was the patient and 'heard' what was said, I wouldn't know how I would cope/physically respond, especially in such a vulnerable situation.

Thank you again. I'm always finding that I am revisiting those ICU days often and it was/is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Take care.

Mel

[LMains]

Hi Marior,

I, too, want to offer you an Internet hug! There are many of us survivors here and we are all praying for your mom!

One of my first memories in coming out of my coma was a face peering into mine. I mistakenly thought it was one of my students, but I remember thinking "that boy has such kind eyes!" It was my oldest son (he's 27). He wrote on CaringBridge (we are in the US) and he wrote about how he and his siblings (I have another son and a daughter) jockeyed for a place bedside with his dad, aunt and uncle. I love this quote from him: "I guess we Branaghs love fiercely!" It still touches me to this day. (That was 1 year ago- I was 55.)

I like StrawberryCream's idea of touch in addition to talking to your mom. Meningitis took my hearing by day 4 (but I can hear today thanks to a cochlear implant- it's all good), so my family got mini-whiteboards and used them to "talk" to me. We also used the speech-to-text feature of my iPhone.

Do whatever you need to do to keep your sanity- school, work, etc. Your mom knows you love her and she wants only the best for you! She will feel your love in all the coming months of recovery.

Hugs,

Lori

[Boneyhay]

hope mom gets on ok been there got the mug and t shirt but still fighting i am sure praying helps i official died twice but came back so some one some i feel does make the big missions give mom a love from every body like my self who has been there

[Schmooschmoo]

Hope your mum recovers. This is a serious illness. My mum died so I don't have the good story ending unfortunately. Give your mum lots of hugs & ask the Dr's as many questions as you can. Dr's treat every patient as a 'number', they become so desinsitised so please make sure that you get all the information from them about your Mums treatment so that you can take control & make the right decisions in your mums best interests. Dr's often make decisions in their best interests, especially if they are getting short on hospital beds.