Lost my wife to menigitis left behind our 2 boys 4 and 10 months it could have been prevented seeked medical elp 3times doctors kept say go

The 4th time called ambulance jenniger n kids all sick jan 3 she passed jan14 2013 IM TOTALLY devastayed heart broken. Lost every nite cryin cant sleep she would have turnd 25 my kids have lost the greatest mom and me my soulmate im just crushed beyond repair dont knw who or where to ask for help is there anyone out thete please

17 Replies

  • This is terrible, so sorry to hear this- Meningitis charity may be able to give you some support, and social services and bereavements charities, medical services can listen to your problems. Also keep blogging about your feelings to help with this tragedy, good luck Sorba

  • I'm so so sorry for you losing your soul mate, I really am. My heart goes out to all of you. I urge you to get in touch with the meningitis trust, look at the website.I carnt stress enough how much they can support you and your family in so many ways, they really can. There will be a phone number on there and it feels like someone wraps there big arms around you and you want feel alone anymore. Please get in touch with them. You are not alone.x

  • So very, very sorry to hear about your wife. I had meningitis but I don't think I can give you any advice. However, there are people out there who can. The Meningitis Trust are brilliant. Love to you and your boys. Keep strong in memory of your wife.


  • I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss and I have no idea how terrible you must feel. This website and the menigitis trust should be able to help you as the other two posters have suggested.

  • I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Thanku so very much it means alot

  • so very sorry for your loss. i have lost my mum to meningoencephalities on 5th january just days before you lost your wife. i still cant stop thinking why my mum? it didnt happen in this country and where i come from there are no organisations like the meningitis trust and no moral support for the families. i therefore encourage you to contact the trust and make the most of the support and help they can offer.

  • I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Go to meningitis-trust.org and check out the services they offer. They are a great organization. There's nothing like them here in the USA, and I am helping to collect funds for them. They are just the coolest and most comprehensive site and organization I have found for survivors, families, and the ones left behind. There's a ton of information there, so please visit them and see all they offer.

    I had bacterial meningitis, which is what it sounds like your wife may have had, strikes fatally and fast. I was taken to the hospital, many times and they wanted to keep sending me home. Finally they did a spinal tap and got the bug. I now deal with chronic migraines, but am happy to have them. They are still unable to tell me why/how I got sick. The five more common ways of getting it were not ways I did, HIV, a tick bite, Hepatitis B or C?, being near someone who was coughing and sneezing with the viral version, or some other way I can't currently remember. The migraines also mess with my memory so I just go with the flow, eventually the idea comes or doesn't, but fighting it doesn't help anyways, so I just try to relax around it.

    I so wish your wife could have gotten the care she needed. But, that didn't happen. You are the support for your children. You didn't mention their ages, but they need you more now. The Meningitis Trust can help you with financial grants if you apply and are approved that might help you get child care for the children if they are of the age to need it. They also have various counseling and art/music/other therapies to offer, as well as one-to-one correspondence/phone calls with someone in the UK who's been there. Folks are available to help.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I had bacterial meningitis and the ER Dr told my husband I was about an hour away from dying when he brought me in. I had only felt sick for about 15 hours at this point and was in a coma. I was very fortunate to have a savvy ER Dr that tested me right away for meningitis. I can't imagine losing my spouse and I'm sure he couldn't imagine losing me. It's been difficult for us both as I've been left with many crazy after effects, but I'm very grateful to be alive. Please keep seeking help for yourself and kids, you don't mention where you live but if you're in the US there are programs for parents with young children like yours. Just go to your local social services. I will keep you and your kiddos in my prayers. God bless you.


  • So Sorry for your lose, talk to family friends your doctor. it devastating please talk to people get advice and help

    All the best. i have found here helpful knowing others out there have had experiences of meningitis and how it effects family's

    i worry about how this happens and what signs doctors look for with meningitis

    my story is very similar we visited hospital numerous times in Ambulance on Emergency calls to the hospital

    they were sure it was nothing over a good few days we visited the hospital

    on the final visit to hospital they said to me my wife was seriously ill

    and she was going to ICU Take it hr by hr if she lives or not

    i was gob smacked. My wife survived after months in hospital but meningitis sure has made a mess of her.

  • Dear unluckydad,

    I am so sorry that this terrible tragedy happened to you and your boys. I am an unluckymom, who lost my beautiful son to meningitis on Nov. 4, 2011. I live in BC, Canada and as everyone has previously posted, UK MeningitisTrust is the resource we all look to and rely on. Here in BC, I have found no resources or support and I struggle everyday to come to terms with what happened, as like you it shouldn't have. My son should of had a 4-strain meningitis vaccine that has been implemented in 8 other provinces in Canada but BC. Why, because of COST and my son and 5 other BC children that I am aware of, were sacrificial lambs to our BC Government politics. My son was a BC Children's Hospital cancer survivor and was one month away from obtaining is BA degree from the University of Kamloops. He was found deceased in his off-campus apartment bathtub by a classmate and a professor. We had to travel over 14-hours to get to the university in a snow blizzard, and fought over 1-1/2 months with the BC Centre of Disease to find out what happened. No child that is 6 feet tall just drowns in the bathtub. If I hadn't of been persistent to find out what happened, drowning would of still remained on his death certificate. I am now trying to put a non-profit meningitis organization together here in BC Canada to create the awareness, education and information about this valuable 4-strain meningitis vaccine. This seems to be the only thing that keeps me going .. to fight for my son and other children. All I have left is his degree and boxes of a life that had so much future and a life that should of been. People say, I have to go on, that my son would want me to be happy and live my life ... what they don't understand is my children are our life and are a big part of our future. I struggle too unluckydad, I just get up and breath in and out and put one foot in front of the other... but I don't know where I am going and for what purpose. I hope one day my son visits me in my dreams and tells me these answers. Sending a hug of love and support.

  • Wow im so sorry as well for your loss i think most people just dont get it or understand wat we go threw. The world keeps turning but ours stopped no im so confused n lost at times feel empty hearted seems like a bad dream everynite cant sleep proper just so saddend fact my boys have lost there mom she gave them so much love and boys were her n mine world. My questions will never be answered

  • Unluckydad, I would love it if you contact me and together we might be able to find some resources and support for you in the states. I have contacts with 2 other meningitis organizations in the states via my research for starting up a non-profit here in BC, Canada. If for not anything else, I know what you are going through and I would love to be there for you and support you through this dark journey of grief. My email address is: meningitisbc.org you can contact me via our website. These are the types of services we want to support families with that have been affected by meningitis.

  • Hanku u so much again dont knw what direction to turn not very many people understand we are frm ontario hamilton not the usa please would apreciate ur time n help

  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss, My son caught bacterial meningitis at 4 months old. It is the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened. We were one of the fortunate ones who brought our baby home but we saw 3 others unfortunately not survive. It broke my heart for those other families. I can not express how sorry i am to hear about your wife. The meningtis trust do offer a great support system so please try and contact them, it is such a devastating disease but these people do an amazing job.

    I hope you find some way to eventually heal and cope with the loss of your wife.

    Jessica x

  • I'm so sorry. I'd went to a and e, failed all their tests, sent home. Got worse, doctor came out and saved my life. Phoned an ambulance and my dad had to argue with the paramedics to take me to hospital. They said I didn't need to go. I went and was there 6 months. Misdiagnosis is frighteningly common. Just remember you still have your kids. Have you been offered support?

  • I lost my dear sweet brother on July 20th, 2014 who turned 60 years old in January. He was a Catholic Christian Brother here in the US. He has always been healthy, overweight but relatively healthy and has always worked and kept very busy. Before taking ill he complained of a cough and general tiredness. Also he thought he had hurt his back as it was bothering him. He rested the weekend and seemed to feel better and got up to go to work on Monday. That is when he tried to get up and fell. He yelled to the Brothers he lived with and they helped him to sit on the bed. His whole left side was limp and he said he thought he was having a stroke. He was taken to the hospital and then lapsed into a coma where he was diagnosed with pneumococcal bacterial menningitus and stayed in ICU for 4-5 weeks. He slowly started to follow people with his eyes, move his head side to side and stick out his tongue when asked. One day he started to talk. He was intubated and then had a trachiotomy and when he tried to speak they put a device in the breathing tube that allowed his voice to be heard. I was able to talk to him on the phone. He told me he loved me which was wonderful. We saw improvement each day but he started a decline from pneumonia that along with the BM, Septicimia, Staph infection and endocarditis (infection of two major heart valves) had weakened him so much. He died on July 20th, two months and 8 days after his attack. I am so sad and angry about his passing. Why does God save some and not others. Why couldn't he have let your wife and my brother live? I am so very sad and also sad for you and your kids. I see that it has been a year and a half since your wife passed. Has it gotten any easier for you? Were you able to mend your broken heart over time? Another blogger mentioned that she wondered as sick as my brother was, would he have been able to cope with what the disease left him for a body. Perhaps your wife, had she survived would have been left severely disabled or brain damaged. So hard to lose the ones we love to such an unexpected illness. I pray that your life has improved and you grief is not so intense. Early days for me but my best to you and your family. Reply anytime you need to talk.

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