help!

I lost my first born to septicaemia due to having staphylococcus aureus thats what I was told. she was only 12 weeks of age and I am still confused on the whole meaning of septicaemia and have struggled with the loss and pain of losing my daughter very badly and dont no how to move forward, i have had another daughter who is a year and a half and this affects my parenting and my husband makes me feel like things will never feel normal again as he lets her do as she wants and this is getting out of hand and this scares me. i want to know if there is anyone in a similar situation who I can talk to as I have no one to speak about this to!

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  • hello. i am sorry to hear about your loss. i have a little boy who contracted meningococcal septicaemia, he was 7 and a half months old when this happened just over four years ago, he is now doing very well but life is still hard as there are a lot of unknown challenges for him. septicaemia is a form of blood poisoning, it comes in many differnet forms. my husband struggles coping with our sons illness and lets him get away with alsorts because he became so ill, i get frustrated and angry with him sometimes as we have 3 other children between us and they werent allowed to get away with as much. there is a way out of this, its finding the strength and a lot of soul searching. i agree things wont be the same but try to find a positive in this, you now have another child, which is in no way a replacement but you are blessed to have another little girl. chin up and take care.

  • hello I am also sorry to hear about your loss, I have a little girl who contracted meningococcal septicaemia when she was 6 weeks old. She is 2 years old in 3 weeks and she is doing very well too. I also have a 5 year old girl who was born with a heart defect who is also doing very well. We don't treat them differently but I do feel differnently, but When my 5 year old girl was born I was only seventeen and I just feel I am more a mum know than what I was the first time around and that I have overcome what has happened the first time but not with the 2 year old. I am pregnant again and I hope she will be healthy and I hope we will treat her the same as the other two. To be honest every child is the same but some are a little fragile and need help more than others! You have lost a child and your scared of it happening again because seeing a child ill is painfull enough but losing a child must be worse. There are people who can help you explain what happened it may not be the answers you want but maybe after talking to someone who knows a little bit more about septiceamia, you will feel that you can move forward.

  • Hello, I am very sorry to hear about your loss and it must be really hard for you, I had Viral Meningitis last year and never really knew of any help out there but after I recovered I found the Meningitis Trust, they are trust that has a dedicated 24 hour help line for people affected by Meningitis, I wish I would have found out about the trust earlier on as the Hospital and my GP gave me very little advise on the recovery of Meningitis, I think they will be of great help to you and please give them a call on 0800 0281828 or you can look at the website meningitis-trust.org/. I really hope this is of some help to you.

  • Hi

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I was in a coma, with meningitis and MRSA sepsus, during my pregnancy, I was 20-30 weeks pregnant, I contracted the MRSA during my treatment and it turned sepsus when it gained acsees to my blood via a central line, when my daughter was born we didn't know what to expect. We didn't know what side effects she would have due to my illness and treatment she was born pretty much healthy except for having MRSA from birth which was succesfully treated as hers was on the skin, as she aged I found it hard to say no, and spoilt her a lot, but then I realised I could not continue, I was lucky in that my daughter wasn't to demanding, my thoughts was that if I continued she soon would be, and as hard as it was I had to say no at times, soon enough she started nursery and luckily I stopped giving in and spoiling her in time that it didn't effect her, the thing is children go to nursery, go to school, interact with others and they can't Always do what they want and can't always get there own way,

    My daughter will soon be starting school and she now asks for things she wants, she doesn't expect pressies all the time anymore.

    It maybe that you and your partner need to discuss, why you can't always let her do as she wishes and explaine this could effect her because when she goes to nursery or school she won't always be able to do as she wishes and get what she wants and unless she understands bounderies she will struggle with mixing with others, but also set special times, where you spend a day doing what your daughter wants within reason.

    You may not ever get over what happened but that does not mean life can not be normal again.

    Take small steps, first talk to your husband then work on teaching your daughter that she can't always do as she wishes, a good idea I found is instead of just saying no, explaine why you are saying no.

    I hope this helps.

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