Thankless task

[Dutsia]

Our son neurodivergent son despie being well looked after 40 years and has caused us alot of trouble and grief over the years. We are now aged 71 and 80 respectively, my husband now with heart failure. Our son has been on the local council housing register for several years and all we wish is that he could have a place of his own to become totally independent before he is left to be burden on the NHS and local Council.

[deborahcoxsuckle]

My middle son with a heroin and crack addiction is a burden on myself and get absolutely no help from social services because his IQ is deemed higher then 70 and he doesn't meet their criteria despite him being very vulnerable. Social services are useless.

[Tiger0606]

bless you,it is quite hard and I don’t think people get it,who do not live like it being a carer.The system is a total joke.I hope you get your wish and keep fighting for it.Makes me so angry for what you have saved them all your life and leave people like this,disgraceful❤️x .

[Chocolate-heals-all]

Hi there I wonder whether your son is known to local social services as a vulnerable person or only as an adult on a housing list. It might be necessary for someone to do a proper assessment of needs. His needs as a vulnerable person. Your needs as a carer. It seems as if you’re a carer for your husband too. You could ring or email the duty social worker for adult care and tell them that you’re concerned for your son’s welfare: you could simply say you can no longer look after him. List everything you do for him. For example, you might remind him to eat, to wash, to change into clean clothes. You might be cooking meals for him. If you don’t want to deal with social services directly then you could try approaching a local charity such as Age Concern (you’re over 55 and a carer) or an autism charity or Mencap, and ask whether they can help you to advocate for your son. Possibly they can also get you some respite, as a carer for two adults.

[dora01]

I agree with Chocolate -heals-all. All the best❤️

[Balamorym]

I agree with the above that you need input from social services. If your son has a certain level of need, he may be entitled to supported living, disability benefits, day activities or respite. If he claims disability benefits or is known to social services, he may be entitled to extra points on the housing register which would get him into accommodation quicker. Citizens Advice can advise on benefits for your son and yourselves and may also help with applying to social services. Good luck.