Concerned for my son.

[Tlgf]

I have a 25 year old son with learning difficulties who lives with he's mum. He constantly call me saying how she controls him, shouts at him, checked his phone. When I tell him to speak up, he tells me he is scared of her. I feel she is mentally abusing him. I don't know who to contact or what to do to getvhim out of this situation. Please help.

[Maurice_Mencap Partner]

Hello Tlgf , if you have concerns over someone's welfare you can contact the safeguarding team at your local authority. This can be a difficult thing to do, so if you feel you need some support or advice you can contact our Learning Disability Helpline where our advisors will be able to help. You can reach them on 0808 808 1111, [e-mail] or through the contact form on our website at mencap.org.uk/contact/conta....

[BenjiB]

You can contact the adult social care team at your local authority. If he wants to it may be time for him to move to supported living so he has some independence.

[49Twister]

Hi,

It sounds like you are not able to converse with his mum to find out what is going on. Does he live with his mum full time? It is difficult looking after someone disabled full time. I was the sole carer of my son who has Severe Learning Disabilities till he was 41, he’s now 48 in supported living, which is still proving difficult, so I understand how hard it can be for his mum. If you can find a way to discuss things with her about your concerns would be helpful. Does your son stay with you anytime to give his mum respite? Maybe this is what she needs. Does he have a social life interacting with others? It’s hard to advise not knowing all the circumstances. If he has a social worker it might be a good idea to contact them. Is there another family member that can shed some light on the situation at home? Just a few suggestions which might help, failing that as Maurice-Mencap suggests contact the Safeguarding team, if your really concerned.

[Tlgf in reply to 49Twister]

We have not spoken for over 4 years..our live are very separate. My son is 25 and lives with her full time, he does work and is quite independent..we talk and see each other all the time. She is the same with everyone..she has disowned her family and falls out with friends all the time.She has stopped my son seeing he's nan and aunt. He has a very small group of friends but has no real social outlets. I have got him into groups in he's local area and she stopped him going. He had a social worker and she refused to answer her calls. I have no doubt she loves him but I believe the way she tries to protect him because he is vulnerable now feels to him like he is being controlled. There is a difference in guiding someone and controlling them. He feels like she is suffocating him and I feel he needs to live independently with supervision.b

[49Twister in reply to Tlgf]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that I didn't mean to pry. It sounds like your son could live independently with support. Not sure how you can sort this in this situation. Think I would probably ring adult social care in your local authority and speak to a social worker about your concerns. Sorry I can't be more help help, take care.

[Jofisher]

you need to call adult social services and raise a safeguarding this can be done anonymously.