Supported housing for 29y old

[Adele6370]

Hello

I wrote here a while back about my (now) 29y old niece who has autism and moved to a different part of the country with her mum, hoping to settle there - unfortunately they are still in limbo after 3 years as they have not found a permanent place to live or any work.

She has never worked, refused to go to school from age of 11 and suffers with extreme social anxiety and paranoia. She's often taken her frustrations out on her mum. In a setting where she feels comfortable though, she is very engaging and articulate but her mood swings make life very difficult for her, and of course her mum. To make things worse, a year ago she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and since then she has overdosed on insulin several times and has had to be hospitalised. The situation between her and her mum has deterioriated even more (can only describe it as toxic) and I, and members of the family, think the best solution would be to find supported housing for her, where someone can help her manage her life and her diabetes. An added complication is that her mum may not want them to live apart as they are in many ways very interdependent and at times they can be best of friends - but this is becoming increasingly rare...

I believe I would need to contact social services but if anyone has experience of supported housing I'd be grateful to hear from them as I need to know how to proceed, how long we'd have to wait to find somewhere and indeed if it's even a realistic solution.

Thanks in advance.

[Jofisher]

Hi Adele this is so hard for everyone concerned social services would be the way to go yes. But obviously Mum and Daughter would need to be agreeable to this and as you say they are interdependent. May I suggest speaking to my consultant social worker or feel free to find your own for some advice she has been invaluable to me and she is also part of an organisation that runs supported living services and she is extremely knowledgeable so could give you some great advice if this is of interest do let me know and I can get you her number. Or see if you can find a consultant social worker yourself and you can seek advice from them. It maybe that with all of your nieces needs she may need residential or nursing care due to her diabetes etc etc but this would be assessed and then a suitable placement could hopefully be found near Mum where they can see each other regularly and it would be quality time not quantity. Mum could then start to have a life of her own as well, and she could see her daughter hopefully happy and settled and with peers of her own age and that’s what all Mums want because none of us are going to be around forever so we need to know we have done right by our children and we know they’ll be ok. It’s the one thing that I believe worries us all who will be there for our child when we’re gone. It’s so hard so best do it sooner rather than later, it’s also normal for our children to leave home so this is her daughters next step in life’s long journey hopefully. Good luck and I do hope you can sort things out for all concerned.

[Adele6370 in reply to Jofisher]

Thanks so much Jo for your helpful reply. I'd be very interested in speaking to your consultant social worker, so yes please do send me her number. Thanks again.

[Hidden]

Hello. I used to work in Homelessness for a variety of councils. Any Council (Re) Housing Department should have a list of Supported Accommodations; usually called Housing Advice.

You can also ask / research what Housing Associations operate in that particular area. Many supported housing providers have differing sets of criteria/ client groups that they help.

Shelter have a helpline, so that could be another option.

You will have to put some legwork in. Good luck x

* In my experience helping clients, Social Services have been far from helpful; but this may be different if a Social Worker is attached.

* As a vulnerable SINGLE woman with support needs, she would be a housing ‘Priority’, but it would need to be stressed that ONLY supported accommodation is appropriate, and that living with her mother is no longer an option. She would most probably have to join a waiting list to join a particular scheme, but may be able to be on a few lists depending on what is available there.

One of my friends did this for her sister, as she needed to be away from the ‘family home’. She lived in her own flat but support workers were on hand (in the scheme itself) there may also have been communal bits/ activities etc.

[Adele6370 in reply to Hidden]

Many thanks for this, much appreciated

[probudddies]

Hi not sure where you live but I run a supported living accommodation which is situated in Mansfield Nottingham feel free to look at my website probuddies supported living and get in contact

[xenababe999]

Hi Adele

So sorry to read this although you are not alone. Maybe take control of this situation yourself if you can. Firstly speak to her Doc who will refer her to support services. This will then lead to one to one, group sessions and out reach programmes. It may be a long process but many of these organisations have weekly art, dance, outdoor walks, gardening, creative skills clubs etc. I used to attend a weekly art class due to mental health and met many lovely people like your niece. A few words over a cuppa etc mean a lot believe me and usually ends up having a laugh especially when you produce a piece of work fit for the bin LOL. Good luck and love to all of you. x

[Adele6370 in reply to xenababe999]

thank you so much! x