Very frustrating : I'm really struggling I'm Trying... - Mencap

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Very frustrating

Penywaun1 profile image

I'm really struggling I'm Trying to get my adult son relocated to essex, housing won't help unless social services are involved, social services won't help unless he has housing, he needs supported living, I've tried housing associations, charities etc but I'm getting no where, anyone have any suggestions please

26 Replies

I feel your pain I went through all this a couple of years ago hitting brick walls in every direction it’s souls destroying. It might be worth you contacting the Mencap helpline or what I did in the end was pay a consultant social worker she helped me no end I couldn’t have done it without her support. I’m sorry your going through this situation it’s so incredibly tough.

Penywaun1 profile image
Penywaun1 in reply to Jofisher

Hi how did you find the social worker please

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply to Penywaun1

We used this lady for our tribunal and I think she’s based in Wales. She can be contacted through Facebook too.

vivacitysocialwork.co.uk/

Penywaun1 profile image
Penywaun1 in reply to BenjiB

Thank you

The one I paid for was an absolute godsend. My problem was my son was in a care home that was totally inadequate and dangerous for him to be there as his needs weren’t being met. I had raised so many safeguarding etc and my son was going into status every fortnight it was horrendous as he was over three hours away. His previous care home was lovely. I was desperate to get him out of there it was so stressful. He’s funded by continuing healthcare I couldn’t have him home because my house had to be rented out as I was to sick and had lost my job due to illness so went to live with my partner and his house wasn’t suitable for my son he needs all one level and close supervision with nursing care. So I tried to find another care home there was nothing locally at the time I started looking so I went to the council to see if I could get him emergency accommodation they said he was to disabled to live in a normal home and they wouldn’t even let me put him on the housing register as he didn’t live locally and he hadn’t worked for two years it was an absolute joke. I went to continuing healthcare and was told they don’t get involved in housing call the council. Which Id already tried it was shocking then went to social services and they said your funded by continuing healthcare so we can’t help you. Sooooo stressful and all the time I’m fearing the next phone call to tell me this time he’d died. It was a terrible time so my heart goes out to you. But the consultant social worker was great she helped me find an ideal home for him and dealt with all the issues at the bad home till he moved. Once he was out of there she then wrote a huge report and sent it to the relevant people. She’s still supporting us now as she wants to make sure all issues are dealt with before she pulls away so she’s been great. I hope if you decide to go down that route you find a good consultant who can do the same for you

Penywaun1 profile image
Penywaun1 in reply to Jofisher

Can you advise how to find a consultant social worker please

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to Penywaun1

I was lucky I knew one you could do a google search or if you don’t mind me asking what area are you in.

Penywaun1 profile image
Penywaun1 in reply to Jofisher

I'm in South Wales but need my son to move down to essex

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to Penywaun1

I’m going to speak to my consultant to see if she can help or any suggestions bare with me

Penywaun1 profile image
Penywaun1 in reply to Jofisher

Thank you

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply to Penywaun1

She’s a wonderful lady. It is expensive though. Best of luck to you x

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply to Jofisher

I can’t believe the CCG were so unhelpful. My son is funded by CHC and our care manager has been brilliant over the years. She’s already researching potential supported living placements for after college.

Eeviee profile image
Eeviee in reply to BenjiB

Lucky you. The CCG have done all they can in my sons case to remove his funding

HolisticMum profile image
HolisticMum in reply to Jofisher

She sounds wonderful. The help you need when you are a parent of a special needs adult is never there. Everybody just passes the buck. I have never heard of a consultant SW so good to hear you got what you wanted in the end (how do you find someone like that?). I think these councils are really only there to put obstacles in our way and no help at all.

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to HolisticMum

I used to work for an organisation and Vanessa was one of my managers but she’s also a consultant so when I couldn’t cope with all the issues I was having I contacted her and she took it on I paid and to me it was worth every Penny.

Here’s Vanessa’s Evens number she’s happy to help or advise you 07554 992560

Penywaun1 profile image
Penywaun1 in reply to Jofisher

Thank you

Hi, I'm sorry you are in such a stressful situation, and your son too.I don't know if my suggestion is any help but we used an advocacy service when trying to sort my daughter's support/funding from social care. The advocate was there to act in the best interests of my daughter and he was very thorough in seeing what she needed. He also was a great support at the many meetings I had to attend with social care which helped me as I am not too confident in those situations.

Who did you contact plwase

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply to colleenfred

Ah yes ad advocate would be a great idea. I think advocacy services are specific to each area.

We live in North Yorkshire so it was one appointed by social services based in North Yorkshire. I think if you look for an advocacy service for your area something should come up. Check your council's website to see if they offer an advocacy service ( or ring them). You could also google advocacy services in your area. If there is a carers charity or organisation in your area you could contact them about it as well as other support and information.The service we used did not cost anything.

You could also go to Citizens Advice Bureau and ask for help and information. I found our local one did not know that much about our situation but it may be different where you are.

Sorry to bombard you with info but we also involved the Community Learning Disability Team for our area. They also helped to assess and provide evidence to social care about what my daughter's needs were and the fact they weren't being met. I found the more people and organisations we used, the more it helped to push things along and get things done. Things seem to take forever. It seems to be that the more noise you make the more likely you get things happening so anything you can do to keep the pressure on worked for us.Has your son been assessed by social services, and if so he should have a support plan from them?

Yes he has ILS support and social worker in Wales has said he needs extra care when he moves to essex but they will not accept him until he moves to essex and the council won't house him, they want me to put him in private rent, no way!!!

I see. It sounds complicated, and very difficult. Don't let them fob you off! I can't think of anything else that may help, at the moment but will continue to think. I found the more knowledge I had about the processes the more I could stick up for what was needed. And again, with other organisations involved that really helped. It's very stressful though and time consuming. In the end, I put in an official complaint with the health and social care ombudsman because I was so frustrated and annoyed with the way things had been handled. We won the case. I hope you can get something sorted for your son.

Haven't heard of these I think this is worth investigating thank you

Skye_Bear profile image
Skye_BearExpert

Hi, sorry you are going this, Please complete one of our Helpline Webforms, link below and I can get you popped onto the waiting list to speak to one our Information & Advice Officers about your sons situation.

mencap.org.uk/contact/conta...

Also is Essex not the funding LA, as if it's out of county then it's down to the LA he is funded by to agree to funding outside of their area. He will need a new needs assessment doing by the LA who is funding his care so that he know how many hours a week support he needs in order to get a supported living placement.

Here at Mencap we have supported living facilities but he must qualify for 15 hours or more a week in order to make an enquiry for you.

I will keep an eye out for your enquiry should you decide to get in touch with the Helpline.

Kindest Regards

Lyndsey Matthews

Contact & Assessment Team Advisor

The Learning Disability Helpline

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