Future for an only son.: Being the only close family... - Mencap

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Future for an only son.

flaounes4T profile image
flaounes4T

Being the only close family , I,me worried. A relative in Scotland is convinced that my son needs' shared ' home care. Not acceptable to him as we've helped him work& live as well as he can. He never made Mates with peers, only older folk. so a move to a group home is no good. WE have a home but I am here to run the show. Dont know if a move up north is good as he says he doesnt mind!. Or if we should aim for support here.{Sth.Manchester area] He needs a new job gardening/golf course/Cat care. Experienced in these fields. Dyslexic,etc, High rate Autism; no good communicating..Awful to think he'll end up alone and vulnerable.

5 Replies

I can totally empathise with your concerns. We have a similar situation with two adult learning disabled sons and absolutely no younger family members who can take on organising their care when my husband and I are no longer able to. We have been fortunate in being able to get them set up in a house-share with 24/7 support to meet their needs, but the future is very uncertain. In your situation would one of the Camphill or similar communities work for your son?

hi flaounes4T i am from south manchester to, although i think i come under central manchester now... i can recommend from my own experiences a service called fairfield residential. dont worry its not all residential,they run supported living where people can live in their own properties or with other people and possibly outreach i think,and all service users can access their farm where your son coud work with the animals,some of my chickens may still be alive and clucking there.

i lived in their residential and out of every care service ive been through they were definately the best.

south manchester wise there is always what used to be called peggy hendersons sanctuary in stretford, i think its called animals in distress, its off dane road-down a canal path,probably better with animals in distress on near the top of silver street in irlam if he has hypermobility or dyspraxia issues to (im only saying those because of his dyslexia as they are often connected)-the AID sanctuary in stretford can be slippery getting to down the canal path during winter/wet months.

depending on his age,if he is under 25,he coud always access bridge college which is a specialist college for ASCs but as he only likes older people it might be better trying somewhere like trafford college in altrincham or the one in stretford, one of them does animal care courses,my friend has done it,she got to work with capybara- i know, not cats but thats just one of the things you can do,im the same as your son with cats,love them more than humans.

if you woud like any more ideas just ask. :)

flaounes4T profile image
flaounes4T in reply to LDAutie

Hi LDAutie, Hadnt heard of Fairfield Res. Son is now 50 so a bit 'senior' but not yet able to go for Older housing. Must decide wether to take plunge and go to Scotland so my relative is nearer, but she,s a busy lady with Grandkids , My son is still more ready to help other folk, than look for help himself, tho he readily states he has L.D. so is a bit slower than some folk. W,ere both fed up with inactivity just now like everyone, so hope we will soon be back to normal soon. Ta for advice. flaunes4T

I too have two sons with disabilities and I constantly worry for their future. We have never taken on respite centres as we have always enjoyed being together. We have seen how others get forgotten about and with ours being non verbal I like them to be with people who care about them as if they were their own flesh and blood. I am trying to get to conclude writing a Will and Trust (after we've learnt a lot from the Mencap seminar last year). But I can't contemplate the Letter of Wishes that some seem to find easy to write. I know they will never get the TLC that they receive at home and every day of my life this makes me anxious. It's hard to do something where you know you will have no control over the future.I do wish you all the best in finding the right thing for your son.

We are also in a similar position, our son is 39. Whilst reasonably settled at the moment, there is much that the care providers don’t do and we have to keep a close eye on things. Without our involvement his quality of life would deteriorate significantly. Most other people we know seem to have at least one family member to step in. It is a huge worry for those who don’t as we get older. We have not found any solutions, which is not for want of trying, but perhaps others have?

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