Son 32

[Kaneo]

My son is 32 and with learning disability’s , he lives at home with me and his dad , we not getting eny younger and I would like him to be settled somewhere, not sure where r wot is available, we haven’t got a social worker , I have tried but they don’t seem interested, my son as got very complex needs and wouldn’t be able to live unassisted, he’s very vulnerable and has been targeted, bullied most of his life , I’ve got no family r friends that can help , and sometimes I feel drained , I just want wot is best for him ? Enybody got eny ideas. Thanks

[49Twister]

Hi, you won’t be able to get anywhere without a social worker. Speak to your gp or refer yourself via adult social services in your local authority. You say you have tried, but you probably need to be more assertive and let them know your struggles. It’s very hard to admit your struggling but unless you make them aware they won’t offer help. They will need to do an assessment on your son and yourselves needs to find out what support is needed, and go from there. You really do need to have a social worker to start the ball rolling, most of us haven’t had the best experience regarding them, myself included, but help doesn’t come knocking on your door. I would also recommend if you have a CARERS Centre in your area they are a great hub of information and support in all areas of disability. I live in Newcastle upon Tyne and they have been invaluable.

[Kaneo in reply to 49Twister]

Thanks , will be looking into getting a social worker as soon as I can .

[Sarah_Mencap]

Hello Kaneo

You have a lot on your plate - I am not surprised that it all feels a bit much sometimes.

49Twister 's reply is brilliant. I agree that seeing if you have carers centre near you is a great idea. They will be able to offer you support and will know what is available near where you live.

There may also be financial things to think about. I know it might sound a bit scary - but Mencap's wills and trust service might be worth contacting. They run free seminars where you can find more (these are online at the moment). Find out more here - mencap.org.uk/advice-and-su...

Your post also mentions housing and needing support. Your adult social services team at your local council should be able to help with this (and help finding a social worker).

It really is great that you are making plans and that you have plenty of time. Many people leave it until they are in crisis and it makes it all a lot more stressful.

You are also welcome to call Mencap's Learning Disability helpline on 0808 808 1111. Our trained advisors will be able to have a chat with you, and it is all free and confidential.

I hope this helps a little.

Many thanks

Sarah

[Kaneo in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Thanks

[Cjson]

Please persist with the social worker, you can complete the referral online. Start with a safeguarding adults referral especially as you mentioned that he has been bullied all his life. I can imagine how emotionally draining that is for any parent

[simpsons11]

Hi my Son is 25 and still lives at home with me and yes it is hard work trying to sort there future out as my son has a learning disabilty as well. i am 60 and not getting any younger as ive had a fall and broke my ankle and other bones and some days it all becames to much for me but my family are not intrested So its all on me and i do worry about what will happen to him when i no longer here. What he needs his a place of his own and life skills as he cant sort anything out on his own But not sure how to go about it. Would like to know how to look into this ?