Delayed talking and understanding

[Kasana]

My son is 3 years and 2.5 months old. He still cannot make a sentence independently most of the times. He does not answer a question properly, so i wonder he understands those or not! His hearing is fine by the way though! I am anxious if he has any developmental problem or not! Please could you help? Thank you

[Sarah_Mencap]

Hello. It is so hard to know what is significant - and what is just a child getting round to things in their own time. A few thoughts -

- does your son go to any sort of childcare? This sort of thing is often picked up at nurseries, and then when your child starts school. They can also offer support and advice, and help get extra support if that is needed.

- Is there a health visitor you can contact, or a Children's Centre near you? I know the face to face activities may not be on at the moment, but they should be able to talk to you about your concerns.

- you could also talk to your GP to ask their advice about this.

You know your son best and it is good to find out more. Please let us know how you get on.

Best wishes

Sarah

[Kasana in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Hi Sarah

Thank you so much for the reply.

My son last saw a health visitor in February 2020 and after that covid situation started and he did not go to children’s centre at all apart from before Christmas to see Santa.

He did not go to nursery before unless recently he has been taking online distance lessons from nursery since 5th January.

It was me and my husband he always stayed with. We dont have any family here, only friends but we can’t meet them in covid situation! However my son’s social skill is okay to me. Though he is very shy at the beginning to strangers and takes time to mix with people, but i think thats normal.

Point to be noted, English is not our first language, but we do use English and our native language Bengali with him at home.

After started nursery i found other kids’ of his age works and found he is way behind and struggles to complete the activities given and needs huge support from me and we are finding it difficult to cope. So my anxiety even got worse.

Please advise.

Thank you

Kasana.

[xenababe999]

Hello

Do not worry. I am a qualified Primary School Teacher. My name is Karen and I live in North Wales. He is just a learner who needs to observe and absolve for the time being. If he continues just try Que cards........ make it fun.... let your child accept their learning..... post notes around the house (key words etc). supermarket shops....let them make the list and then find the products (maths will come into this as well), TV programmes and their favourite but only if they list the times (24 clock), A diary starting at what time they want e.g. 9am. eat breakfast but with a difference.............Hated it, Tasted Yuck, Very Tasty, ........ start a chart which they will own. Good Luck

[Kasana in reply to xenababe999]

Hello Karen,

Thank you so very much for your lovely message! I am quite assured reading your reply. I will try to make the learning fun as you said!! Thank you so much once again!!

[xenababe999 in reply to Kasana]

Your welcome. During my teaching years especially with challenging children I found that the challenge was not ours nor theirs nor yours. It was an holistic approach. Look up Montessori education. I did a thesis and presentation about this type of learning. All the best and stay safe. xxxxx

[xenababe999 in reply to Kasana]

Hi again, how is everything going? x

[learner01]

Dear Kasana, try not to worry. Children develop at different rates. If you are worried talk to your health visitor.or GP who should be sympathetic and understanding.and who can refer your son for assessment although it might take a while because of Covid. Explain why you are worried and how he seems to be behind his peers. 2 of my children have had learning difficulties and it's definitely better to find out as soon as possible because you can then understand better what they might be struggling with and get help for them sooner rather than later. They were both eventually diagnosed by educational psychologists with dyslexia. There are other learning difficulties too like dyspraxia. These things can make things difficult for children, particularly at school. Children can also be over sensitive or under sensitive with how their senses work. My son hated loud noise and would cover his ears in noisy places. To begin with School was not a happy place for him. A class of 30 and lots of noise. Terrifying lunch time in enormous hall with lots of older children moving around very quickly. He couldn't cope and became distressed. That school was not helpful and tried to imply I was the problem. It was because they were ignorant of learning difficulties. The SEN teacher was actually the least helpful. I took my son out of that school and taught him at home for a bit. Fortunately we live near countryside and I was able to move him to a small village school - only 60 children in total - with an understanding and kind head teacher. He was also allowed to repeat his final year because he wasn't ready emotionally and in other ways to move on. When my children were young, health visitors did regular developmental checks to ensure that a child was progressing as would be expected. I don't know if that still happens but you could ask your health visitor about your son.His language may be because he is learning 2 languages at the same time. I don't have experience of that but there must be other families that do who could reassure you. I am sure that there will be speech and language therapists that do who could advise you.

An occupational therapist would be able to assess whether your son has problems with sensory processing and provide help for him.

You are doing a good job. Try not to worry but also look online to find out more information.

I felt very upset when I realised that some of my children had learning difficulties because I knew things would be harder for them but they are both adults now and both are graduates. Which is what they wanted to do. It took longer for them than most and I had had to put a lot of work in when they were little to help them learn to read etc because support at school was limited. And I won't pretend that it was easy. At times I felt like giving up. My daughter is now a teacher. Of languages. English, French and Spanish. Her experience of dyslexia has made her more aware of the difficulties children can have in learning. My son still job hunting. They both had to work extra hard and were often upset at how hard it was so needed lots of love and encouragement. Your son may not have any problems at all but if you are worried I would seek help. You may have to persist in seeking it. There is helpful information online and charities that give information and support.

Reading to your son is one of the most important things you can do. It will help him with his language and it's a lovely thing to do. Simple picture books with just a few words.

All the best.

[Kasana in reply to learner01]

Hello my dear, thank you so much for your such a detailed informative and comforting reply. I feel so bad that your children did not receive enough support from their initial school!! I understand what hardship you been through and now the reward is well deserved! I congratulate you and both your son and daughter on their graduation and new job. All the very best for them for their future!! You are an amazing mother and loads to learn from you.

I will try to follow your advise and get him assessed and look for appropriate support accordingly!

Thank you so much again for your support and your time!

Take care,

Kasana