Hello - I am Jo

[jow2319]

I thought I would be brave and post a hello post.

I am not new to the community, but I never really did this when I started. I have an adult brother (47) with a learning disability. He's great and we have a good bond. He still lives with my parents and I worry about them as they are getting older.

It has been very tough recently as I haven't been able to see much of them, even though I live nearby. I have found this hard, but it really has been much harder for them. I feel very guilty about not being able to help much.

I have my own children and my brother is the best uncle ever.

Christmas is going to be a challenge - l hope I am able to see my parents and brother, even if I have to sit in the garden and talk through the patio doors.

Jo

[Ryan_Mencap Community friend]

Hi jow2319 🙂

It is lovely for you to do an introduction post and it is brilliant to have you here 🙂

I am Ryan, I am one of the Mencap Community Friends and it is great to see you getting involved!

I hope that you are finding the Online Community a welcoming and friendly place.

Ryan 😀

[Ruasmammy]

Hi Jo, I have a brother with severe learning and physical disabilities and really related to your post. He lived with my parents until they were in their 80s and I was their main support outside their little household. I lived about an hour and a half away, and my mother also struggled with mental health issues and relied on me quite heavily. He went into a residential home when they were in their 80s and they had some freedom for the first time for a few years till they died. Gradually the responsibility shifted as they aged and eventually both passed away. I am now in my late 60s, my brother is in his mid 60s and we are the only two left in our little family in this country. I have two other brothers, but they both emigrated, and, you know, girls, responsibility, and all that... Anyhow, my brother and I were hanging out a couple of times a week until the pandemic. But there was an outbreak in his home, he tested positive and miraculously survived totally symptom free, although it nearly killed me with anxiety! I feel I might be a bit like you but on fast forward!! ANyhow, I don’t post much here, but do feel free to message me anytime. And welcome once again, although you have been here for a while!

[rosie7007]

Hi jow2319 Firstly, thank you for your post and welcome. I wonder, if you can be accepted as part of your brother's bubble. If you are safety conscious for everyone in the household and then when you return to your own home, you should be allowed to make visits.

Anyone who is a support for another person is permitted to be part of their ongoing support bubble.

I am in several different support bubbles but I am extremely careful and follow all guidelines and more, to keeping everyone safe.

Christmas can be manageable but you may have to split your time a little if that is possible. Your family bubble, weather permitting, could relate through an open window whilst you are indoors giving your support. Just a thought.

Good luck

[BlueberryYellow]

Hi Jo,

Thank you for posting about you and your brother. By the sounds of it you, your brother and parents are very lucky to have you. With the ever changing rules around Covid it is hard to feel you are doing enough, routines have gone out the window and having to second guess what is best for you all as a family is really difficult.

I was interested in your post because I too have a brother, he is 55 and still lives at home with our parents. He has tried to live independently but it didn't work out. He was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum around 2008 but I am sure he also has learning difficulties. He has poor self regulation and little enthusiasm for anything except playing pool. My parents can find managing him draining and like you I cannot see them as I used to.

I do worry about his future. Who will he live with? How will he manage? etc....

Try and be kind to yourself and don't forget about your family!

Best wishes.

Steph