Violent outbursts

[Depressed7]

My grandson is 19 years old with severe learning difficulties adhd & epilepsy he’s a lovely young man usually full of life & never still you get loads of banter from him. Last year his behaviour deteriorated where he would lash out for no reason @ all & he was sectioned for 6 months he came home June this year & been absolutely fantastic until beginning September we took him on holiday & 1 night for no apparent reason he jumped up & ran over to a complete stranger & smacked her round the head!!!! And the past few weeks he’s totally changed he looks ill his eyes are bloodshot he’s tired all the time stumbling when he tries to wal or stand up slurring his words & laughing & joking 1 minute then attacking us very violently we are walking on eggshells all the time & getting no help from anyone he seems to be in a trance when he’s attacking us it’s heartbreaking & so frustrating that nobody seems to want to help us

[Sarah_Mencap]

Hello

I have asked Yvonne (our challenging behaviour expert who is around all this week) to have a look at your post. She has already posted some brilliant ideas about how to cope here - healthunlocked.com/mencap/p...

It sounds like you need more support urgently. Have you spoken to your son's GP or are getting any other medical support?

Mencap's helpline might also be able to help as they have trained advisors. You can email them on [e-mail]

Best wishes

Sarah

[Depressed7 in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

I’ve been to my gp this morning & he’s @ a loss as well I broke down in tears I can’t get through to them @ all 💔

[Sarah_Mencap in reply to Depressed7]

I am so sorry the GP wasn't helpful. Did they offer any support at all?

Does your grandson see a specialist or any other medical professionals? Could you raise it with them? I know it must feel very frustrating but it could be a medical issue so it really needs to be a medical profession that helps you with this.

Are your grandson's parents involved and what do they think about what is going on?

Do you get a chance to talk to anyone else about how you are feeling? I know it doesn't fix the issue, but if you are feeling ok then you can better face what is going on.

Sorry there are so many questions here. I really think it would be good for you to talk to someone about this. Our helpline will be open again next week on 0808 808 1111. But there are also other options, including the Samaritans who are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and are free and confidential. Call 116 123 or email [e-mail]

Sarah

[Depressed7 in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Gp going to change his epilepsy medication to try that trying to get an emergency neurologist appointment

We are under an intensive support team but they don’t offer anything tbh they keep saying he’s got sensory issues which he has but that doesn’t justify the outburst & looking poorly & unsteady on himself

His parents aren’t involved I’m afraid

I do have some good friends to talk to but it’s so hard not getting the help he obviously needs

[Sarah_Mencap in reply to Depressed7]

You are doing an amazing job. He is so lucky to have you. Keep talking to your friends, it so important that you have someone who can listen.

Best of luck with the neurologist appointment. Yvonne may also have some ideas.

Please do call the helpline next week. They know such a lot about the different places you can get support - they may come up with something that you haven't thought of before.

All the best

Sarah

[Depressed7 in reply to Sarah_Mencap]

Thanks so much for your lovely replies I will phone them

[YvonneNewbold Expert in reply to Depressed7]

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear how incredibly hard things are right now, you sound like an amazing grandparent and it's also clear that you generally have a very good understanding and connection with this lovely young man. The first thing that I thought of when reading through your posts was that the suddenness of both these recent changes in behaviour may indicate a health issue or that he is in pain and cannot express it easily. Sometimes it's almost impossible to detect when our children are in pain, and it's heartbreaking when they can't tell us either. The other thing that came to mind as well with the suddenness of it and the way you describe how "faraway" he seems, was epilepsy. I'm pleased that that's something that your GP is addressing by looking at his meds. It might be worth asking your GP if it would be OK to give your son some sort of mild painkillers for a couple of days to see if his behaviour improves. If your GP was in agreement and then if there was any improvement, it is likely to be pain that's causing it, and you will then be more confident in getting his GP and medical team to explore what might be going on. Sensory issues, communication difficulties and coping with change and transitions are generally the areas to examine for behaviour triggers, but it does sound as if you and he have worked really hard on the behaviour and that he's generally happy and engaging - apart from these two sudden onset incidents of the past couple of months. I do hope you can get to the bottom of it, and please don't be afraid to follow your instincts and keep asking questions of the medical team until your grandson is coping with things again. It's so easy to be fobbed off and made to feel as if we're being difficult or over-protective. I think our job is to protect our children and grandchildren - from harm, from pain and sometimes from themselves, and "over-protective" is an unfair description of our role. You will get there with him, in fact it sounds as if you are already nearly there, and I'm hoping that this is just a little setback that can be sorted out quickly by his medical team. Good luck and don't stop until he's back to where he was. Take care, Yvonne

[Depressed7 in reply to YvonneNewbold]

Thank you so much for your reply very sound advice sorry for the late reply xx