A quote that has finally turned the only feelings I've ever known into words

It's overwhelmingly bitter-sweet to finally be validated with real words to how I feel, but have never been able to explain, even to myself.

[DonnaEll]

So true. I think that’s what caused my moms decline and eventual passing. She was always taking care of someone and when my son died that was the end.

[Hidden in reply to DonnaEll]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I couldn't possibly imagine that feeling. My mind doesn't even want to try imagining it. To think of my daughter dying... I just can't. I don't even have words to properly reply to your comment. My heart is broken for your loss.

[designguy]

I think this is true but can be misconstrued by some people and a lot of times people think their purpose has to be something tangible. Personally, I think our first and foremost purpose here is to learn to love and accept ourselves unconditionally thereby being able to love and accept others and all life here unconditionally also.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

Very wisely said, I absolutely agree with you. I'm still learning how to do that, myself. This quote, for me, is all I've ever known up until now. It's been almost impossible breaking out of my mindset.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

I think it's an ongoing process and some days it's easier than others. I've found spending time questioning my thinking and beliefs and investigating them as to where did they come from, ie: family, cultural, history, etc... and then deciding if they fit me now or if they no longer serve me and what new beliefs would to be helpful also. The other thing is trying to have radical compassion for ourselves, our process and our journey.

[Hidden in reply to designguy]

I could not agree more! I have told several people now by far one of the best things I have ever learned was self awareness and perspective. I am obsessed at times with analyzing and breaking my own processes and mannerisms down. It's fascinating! Though at times with my ADHD, I have a tendency to hyperfocus and need told to get it together 😂 I'm aware that I have some pretty deep seated beliefs (or rather, brainwashing) and know it isn't right. I don't even see others that way, it's cruel. Yet I still hold it against myself, regardless, bc everyone else my whole life has. I suppose it makes it harder to change how I think if nobody is. I think sometimes I need someone to show me and let me learn what it feels like to be considered important, purpose or not before I can really get it. I dunno

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

You might check out the youtube of Bernadette Logue, I follow her, she has some good advice and guidance about life purpose. I also like Julia Kristina, her info is more self-worth directed but it's related to life purpose also.

I have some ADHD and can get lost in the weeds, learning and practicing simple mindfulness meditation has helped in being able to bring myself back to center.

I've read that the hardest person to forgive is ourselves so try to flip it around and treat ourselves the way we would treat a good friend, sounds simple but it works.

[Jazzcatie]

This is they way I feel. Have been thinking a lot, too much really, about not having a reason to live. A purpose frames it better. I spent my life taking care of others and can’t take care of myself anymore.

[ZeroChaos]

Have you ever read something and then just sat and stared for ... No idea how long before closing your mouth and thinking 'That. That RIGHT there!' ? I just did that for this quote. I also cried because I have no idea how to process being dead but ... Not.

[Mofro]

Exactly. This thought is nothing new to me, and describes how I've been feeling for at least the last 5 years. While I was in therapy I would try to explain that this was the biggest reason why I was having so many problems coping. To me a "purpose" or what gives meaning to life is usually something tangible and reflects how much I've lost over time. Things such as a job, a home, family, friends, having passions to pursue, and most importantly a connection to people. But for me it also encompasses having a difficult time accepting that I'm getting older, and being retired and on my own. I feel I have nothing to offer anyone anymore and find myself so isolated and alone on a daily basis. I often feel as if I'm dying from the inside out. It seems because of this I've lost the ability to meet new people and make friends, as I would usually get to know others through school, work and the like. I guess this is what others that have posted speak of when it comes to a feeling of self-worth, which I certainly don't have much of. As far as self-worth and self-reliance, I'd like to share a quote I came upon long ago. I can't remember the source, but like your quote this one also resonates with me quite a bit.

"We are told to learn self-reliance, but it’s tricky if you have no self on which to rely."

I try to keep faith that my situation will change somehow, but it's difficult for me at this point mainly due to having no one else to rely on, but in a way it's also because no one relies on me anymore.

I'm sure the interpretation of "purpose" differs from person to person, but this is just my own.