Patience

[bleas]

how to stay respectful of aging parents & not be so depressed

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Both my parents died within a year of each other. I identify with your feelings. It was very hard caring for them before they passed. At times I was resentful and frustrated. And felt sorry for myself. That I was in that position.

But imo you’re on the right track in trying to be “respectful.” That was my goal. Sometimes it was hard to “love” them, but I always made an attempt at respect.

Keeping in mind that they’re just sick and old helped. And I attempted kindness. I tried to be the best daughter I could be.

I’m glad I did because when they died, I didn’t have any regrets. Grief yes. Regrets no.

Caregiving to aging parents is not for the feint hearted. Please remember to take care of yourself. You can’t give from an empty cup.

[bleas in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you. I am looking for support groups I can attend. I got so upset yesterday with myself.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to bleas]

I found some caregiver support groups on the AARP website. My husband was diagnosed with kidney failure in August and needed a lot of care. He’s getting stronger now even though he goes to dialysis three times a week. So my caregiving role has lessened.

[MaudeNY]

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve taken care of my parents for the last 5 years. MyDad died 15 months ago at 95. Now I have my mother who is turning 95 soon. I was very close to my father not so much ch my mother. I’m depressed that I have no life because of her needs. I’m single and can’t do much because she’s needy. It’s very hard to stay happy and upbeat. But, make a routine that allows you time. It helps taking a break.

[bleas in reply to MaudeNY]

thank you. My blood pressure went up so much yesterday I went to bed. I have to find another way to deal with things.

[bleas in reply to bleas]

I am so ashamed. I went to a good church service & then just lost it

[MaudeNY]

it’s ok to lose it and bed/ sleep is my safe place from life. Make sure to take your BP meds.