Hope everyone is well.
I just wanted to bring something up that I don't see talked about that much. Just wondering really what everyone else feels about whether their lupus has knocked their confidence.
I am finding that it has. This time three years ago I was fit, healthy, had a good job where I was progressing, had what I thought was an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends, was just generally happy with everything.
Then when this illness came along everything changed. My boyfriend couldn't cope with it so I was left on my own to deal with possibly the worst time of my life, I lost one friend who I thought was one of my best friends and even though I know it isn't worth it, I still sometimes 'grieve' for this, she basically didn't want to know me when I couldn't do fun things, I had to leave my job, my office closed down anyway but because of my illness I have been doing a more mundane job ever since just to make ends meet.
I know this maybe isn't the place to talk about dating etc but I would love to meet someone special but I find it so hard. I put myself on a dating site but when people ask me questions like why the change in career etc etc or I just don't know what to say. I don't like telling people about my lupus because of what has happened in the past and I am terrified it will put people off me. I had met someone quite recently and opened up to him about it and i have to say since I have been open about it all he has gone rather quiet
Its not just in dating, I guess it just feels like everything at the moment and I don't know what to do to make myself feel more confident. Its quite hard when you're constantly in pain an covered in rashes isn't it?
Anyway Just thought I would rant a little, I will stop babbling now
Lots of love x