Tired

[Nancee54]

I guess today won't be a good day for me. I have stage 1V lung cancer. Diagnosed Sept. 2015. I've been in treatment since November 2015. I'm tired of feeling bad everyday. I'm heartbroken, I don't want to be a downer. My attitude is terrible, I try everyday it gets no better. I need to change my attitude but don't know how. I pray everyday. I'm sorry for the rant. I'm just sad today. Nancee

[scottcharlop]

Most of us have gone through those same emotions ,don't feel guilty. You have to get to the point where you believe you can help your own situation and in reality it's all up too you. You have to take it hr. by hr. day by day and just get through it.Every day we wake up we know it will be an adventure but never sure where we end up. Stay strong and see all of us that are still here fighting for our selves and families. That's the most important thing staying strong for our family,our support system in addition to the Dr.'s and others.

[Nancee54 in reply to scottcharlop]

Thank you for your kind words. You are absolutely right, I know this but can't seem to put it into action.

[Nancee54]

You are absolutely right. I know attitude is everything, and I know the right thing is to get up and fight back. But I'm so weak now it's a struggle to go to the bathroom. I will ask my Dr for an antidepressant maybe this will help. Thank you for your words I appreciate it.

[Twotimesurvivor in reply to Nancee54]

Fake it till you make it

[kate93105 in reply to Twotimesurvivor]

Easier said than done!! Support is so very important in helping to get the sadness to go away!

[lindarahtes]

So sorry Nancee that you are going through this. I had stage 2 in my lower right lobe in March 2016, had surgery and first ct scan came back negative and now I go next Friday for my next ct scan. Did you have surgery and is that an option for you. I had a fabulous doctor, Dr. Howe in Charlotte, NC and I have a great support team at home. Get together with friends and family as often as you can and stay active and fight, fight, fight. Everyone goes thorough periods of terrible attitude and the way I look at it is that's ok, we're entitled but when you start to let it take over, then it's a problem. Stay as active as you possibly can. ~ Linda

[Ruthie1950]

I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I totally understand. With all that we're going through, we are allowed periods of depression. It's easy to say don't stay there but it's another thing to pull yourself out it.

When I get depressed, I talk to the Lord and ask Him to give me strength. It works. I then start praying for others who are going through worse times such as parents standing by the bedside of a dying child or others suffering on beds of affliction. It takes my mind off of ME!

I pray this helps but sometimes I must admit that I allow myself a pity party and spend time crying. Crying never hurt anyone. You may even feel better!

God bless you.

[Nancee54 in reply to Ruthie1950]

God bless you as well. I pray everyday. God is awesome. I know your right and it's friends like you that give me hope. I have not worked since October and I think I have a little to much time on my hands. Thank you.

[Enjoyabull]

I am so sorry you feel this way today and totally understand. But you have been so inspiring to me being in treatment since 2015 and it makes the rest of us hopeful. I agree with you about your hair it looks lovely short and your coloring looks wonderful, I am so pale. Oh Nancee I hope you get out of this dark place soon. I am so sorry.

[Nancee54 in reply to Enjoyabull]

Thank you. You have inspired me as well. In 3 months I have changed again.

[Enjoyabull in reply to Nancee54]

Changed how, your treatment?

[Nancee54 in reply to Enjoyabull]

Treatment, loss of weight, no appetite. I weigh 82 pds. You know too thin is nearly like a cartoon. I hate it as I'm sure you do.

[kate93105]

Hi Nancee. So sorry you are stuck in a sad place. Your picture is lovely. Have you contacted your cancer center for counseling regarding your sadness? I utilize my cancer center for counseling and nutritional support since what we eat is so important in our recovery. I want to give you a little of my history. In 2012 I was diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer which lead to a double mastectomy the end of January 2013. In 2014, I was very sick with a horrible cough and congestion. I couldn't stop the cough at all. I went to Urgent Care and was given a chest x-ray which later lead to a diagnosis of small cell lung cancer. I was stunned. Cancer again??? Well I'm on my 3rd bout of lung cancer and being treated with immunotherapy called Keytruda. I go Monday for my infusion. My treatment is every 3 weeks. The only side effect I have is a headache upon waking. Chemo made and kept me sick for a long time. I was so sick and never want to go there again. I also have a psychiatrist who is helping me manage depression, sadness, and bi-polar disorder. I am also being treated for anxiety and stress. It's been a long road these past 4 years, but I'm getting through it with lots of love and support. I hope your sadness subsides. I wish you a wonderful day. God bless.

[Nancee54 in reply to kate93105]

Thank you so much. God Bless You. I'm on Keytruda now, I had a petscan last Tuesday I should get the results this week.

[jbsolarturtle in reply to kate93105]

Great clinical trials at Moffitt cancer hospital in Tampa Florida with small cell lung cancer

[Denzie Moderator Volunteer]

Sometimes the only thing that you can be positive about is that cancer sucks. Do talk to your doctor about an antidepressant. So very glad that you recognize that its okay to do. They were developed for circumstances like ours. Winter only makes things worse: the lack of sunshine, the cold, everything brown and gray. This is not something you have to be on forever.

Getting out of the house can also be difficult but you may want to look into volunteering somewhere close by. Perhaps your local elementary school could use someone to read with the kids or listen to them while they read or tutor. Your local hospital will have need for volunteers in an wide assortment of capacities. Your local museums have need too. There's Meals on Wheels, local animal shelters. You might find the activity stimulates your appetite as well.

[kate93105 in reply to Denzie]

Denzie, i support volunteering in any way we can. I was so sick from chemotherapy with my second bout of small cell lung cancer that I would not have been able to volunteer. All I could do was sleep and have a sick stomach. This bout of small cell (3rd) is so differrent due to my new treatment with Keytruda (immunotherapy). Still tired but no sick stomach!!! Now I can start volunteering if I choose and get back into my crafts - I do many but crochet is one of my favorites. This may seem odd for me to say, but I have a sense of freedom about me this go around with cancer!! I go for infusions every three weeks instead of each week. I am seeing a therapist every few weeks at the cancer center, and my psychiatrist every few months for my depression and stress. I take antidepressants and medication to help with anxiety and stress This keeps me from feeling so down and sad. I am trying to get up the nerve to have a massage which is given at the cancer center for free. Have never had one before. Need to face my fear about this. Anyway, thank you for your post. Such a good topic. God bless, Kathie.

[Denzie Moderator Volunteer in reply to kate93105]

So very glad to see you response. So the day you wrote, were you having an exceptionally bad day then?

It seems you have a good handle on what it takes to move forward and could probably write the book.

Wish I had some advice to give you on coming with fatigue. My friend onKeytruda has much the same issue.

[Nancee54 in reply to Denzie]

Thank you Denzie, yes I have bad days. Every day is a new day. Cancer is a journey, and I should have written a book. I'm sure you could do the same. I'm just not sure how to proceed. I'm tired. No medicine has helped, but yet a little voice still says try. I take a treatment Tuesday if I choose to go on. I thought I would think about it until then. Nancee

[kate93105 in reply to Nancee54]

Nancee, I know how tired a person can get going through chemo and/or radiation. I was having a hard time staying awake during the day so I napped most of the time. That caused a lot of problems with my night time sleep. My psychiatrist is keeping tabs on me and is always asking how I am. He is such a good doctor. Anyway, he knows about my battle to stay awake so he prescribed a medication called Nuvigil (generic name - armodafinil). It helps with my daytime sleepiness. I have been taking it for a few years. I have had no adverse reactions at all. Perhaps you could talk to your doctor about it. I wish you a good day. God bless. Kathie

[FtB_Peggy]

Nancee54,

Great picture! Thank you so much for sharing, and I see that whisper of a smile - clearly you have so much strength in you, and your faith to carry you, this dark time will pass. Be kind to yourself, and patient. Definitely talk to your doctor and see about medication and counseling (if you want), help is out there, but they need to know how you are feeling (which you obviously understand).

Being tired, and feeling sad are completely understandable. We just don't want you to stay in that place, so please keep chatting with us and talking to your medical team. We all want you to feel better again...and you will!

Hugs,

Peggy

[Nancee54 in reply to FtB_Peggy]

Thank you so much Peggy. I try everyday, but most days I am weak. I pray about it everyday. I know God will give me strength. Thank you. Nancee

[Hidden]

@Nancee54 Hi I know very well what your going through and yes there's a lot of anger,and fear. Whenever the anger takes over I want you to write to me and let that anger out with me. Rant all you want with me. We do not judge we are all in the same boat were here for each other. This is the new normal and this is our life now. being sad we know about that. If talking to me doesn't help free to breathe has a number you can call they are there to help or talk with your Dr about it. I really like your picture your to pretty to be sad and angry all the time

Jo Taylor

[FtB_Peggy]

Nancee, you are welcome.

I know you try, and that is necessary and good, but please don't be hard on yourself - you are human and tired. Let others help you, and get started on some medication. Talk to someone you trust. Love yourself - you are a miracle! Allow yourself to rest and don't feel guilty about it. You will find your feet again, but right now you need to listen to your body AND talk to your doctor. See That !!!! You already have a plan - that's a very good thing!

Rest sweetly, we are with you.

[Nancee54 in reply to FtB_Peggy]

Thank you so much.

[Nancee54]

Thank you so much Jo I appreciate it. For the most part I am so grateful I'm still here. But the bad days seem to come more often. I guess I think about dying more and I'm not ready. (Who is). Life is hard and then this, I guess you know that story. Thank everyone of you for being there. Nancee

[scifiknitter Blogger]

Nancy,

Please do talk to your doctor about an anti-depressant! They can help a lot.

Your emotions are natural and normal. I don't believe that being sad or discouraged will kill us when we have the normal waves of these emotions sweep over us. It's when they become a persistent state that they affect our health by taking away our appetite for food, for enjoyment, perhaps for life.

Perhaps you need a good laugh today. I recommend this short video:

youtube.com/watch?v=bfTyEtV...(Not working as expected?)

Anita

[Nancee54 in reply to scifiknitter]

This morning I received the results from my Pet Scan. It shows a lot of progression, I have taken Opdivo it didn't work. I have taken Keytruda 2 times and they did a petscan. You are supposed to have 3 but I asked them to do a scan. I have had some form of treatment for 14 months. I have been told that the immunotherapy causes progression in the beginning. I don't know. Should I continue on with Keytruda or stop here. Confused. Nancee

[Enjoyabull in reply to Nancee54]

What other options did the Dr. give you?

[Nancee54 in reply to Enjoyabull]

He said I could continue trying this Medicine. Hospice was a choice. I don't really know what to do. I'm going to think about it until Tuesday.

[Enjoyabull in reply to Nancee54]

There has to be other chemo choices. Immunotherapy didnt work for me now I am back on chemo.

[MFH_Advocate in reply to Nancee54]

Nancee54 Hi Nancee. It sounds like your doctor may be talking about pseudoprogression. Sometimes when immunotherapy starts working, it brings immune cells to the tumor. So, the tumor might look bigger on scans even though the treatment is working. The hard part is knowing if there is pseudoprogression or if the disease is really spreading. Here is some more information: cancergrace.org/lung/2016/0... Did the Opdivo work at all? As Enjoyabull said, please know that even if immunotherapy didn't work for you, you will likely have other treatment options. Did your doctor mention chemo?

[Nancee54 in reply to MFH_Advocate]

Thank you for your information, I appreciate it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. The Opdivo did not work either. I'm not sure what I will do yet, but my next treatment is Tuesday. I thought I would pray about it between now and then. They didn't tell me about another medicine. I will ask Tuesday. I've taken 14 months of treatment I'm tired. I'm going to check out the website. Thank you. Nancee

[kate93105 in reply to Nancee54]

Nancee, Have you heard anything about Keytruda - an immunotherapy drug? I am on it now and have been for the past 5 infusions. I have 1 infusion each 3 weeks. Side effects are almost none, but I do feel tired a lot, which is nothing new for me. I also have headaches when I wake. Possibly Keytruda, or it could be from stress and anxiety. Please don't give up. You are loved and cherished. Kick cancers butt!!

[Nancee54 in reply to kate93105]

I take Keytruda now and it is not working for me. I have taken Opdivo twice and it didn't help. I have taken several chemotherapy drugs. This has gone on 14 months. I'm just tired.

[kate93105 in reply to Nancee54]

Hi Nancee, I am so sorry that you are not getting any healing from your treatment. I totally understand you being tired. I am too. I rest when I can, and keep in touch with family via phone and email. I hardly go outside, am sedentary, overweight, tired and have depression and anxiety which are being treated by my psychiatrist. Is there anyone you can see at your cancer center about getting therapy? I see the cancer center's therapist, and a nutritionist. It is important that we keep ourselves as nourished as possible. Protein and lots of fresh veggies are on my plate every day. My nurses are wonderful and I feel comfortable asking questions of them. They are so helpful to my recovery. I get hugs and a lot of encouragement from them. When I lost my hair (2 times) they told me I was still beautiful and offered me knitted caps to wear if I wanted them. Nancee you are awesome. I wish you the best. God bless, Kathie

[debi_babtkis in reply to kate93105]

To Kate03105-

How are you doing now? I am in the exact place you were 6 months ago

I'm not living, just existing bc I'm too tired to do anything fun. I only have energy for the necessities.

Debi_babtkis

[Janice547]

I have lung c to took 25 percent of my lung out always tired to but it's hard not to think about it day after day try not do I pray to god I am c free 2 yeares prayers work take care I went to fox Chase in Phila

[Barkpratt]

You look beautiful! I mean that.

I remember being told that the positive outlook helps with fighting cancer. I was so distraught. How can one feel positive with cancer? Then one day I realized a few things. 1. I was not making any music even though that is a great love. 2. I was wasting the time I did have by worrying about the cancer. 3. I was not trusting the God I proclaimed to have faith in.

I still have tough days and moments but all in all, I live in the moment. I also joined a support group through Gilda'sClub. Each week, someone lifts my spirits. I exercise, even if it is just a walk. I try to eat well and look for joy. Prayer totally calms me.

You are not alone! Hugs!

[kate93105]

Hi Barkpratt, I just read your post and am pulled in the direction of your positivity. Your three points make perfect sense. Especially number three. I too was lost in not trusting God. Thank the good Lord that has passed and I hope it has for you too. I also have tough days. I do not sleep well even with sleep medication. I have depression and anxiety that is awful. Thanks to my psychiatrist and psych medication I am getting through it. Prayer is very important too. Have you talked to your oncologist about what is offered at your cancer center ie: therapist, nutritionist, social worker etc. I utilize therapy, and see the nutritionist each month. I am not getting enough exercise at all. Have a bum knee that hurts all the time. Need knee replacement, but must wait till cancer therapy is finished. In the mean time I must wear a knee brace that helps some. Your last sentence is awesome - "You are not alone! Hugs!" Hugs back to you. You will be in my prayers. God bless.