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I have a scan coming up in the next week or so. See oncologist thirteen Sept. To be perfectly honest I'm the one who's tell everyone to fight and not give up. Right now I'm stressed and afraid the cancers back. I"m irritable and extremely nervous. My partner he tries to stay away but tries to help and I don't want his help right now. how do I cope I try to keep my mind busy thinking of other things and i'm up and down and crying. Cope I don't know if I am for once I'm not strong i'm scared. When it's over and I get the results and if its good that would be great and if its not i'm taking my own advise fight and stay strong. I don't know if that helps Travis. NSCLC
Sharing how you feel definitely helps, as I'm sure others are feeling the exact same way, and now they know they are not alone. I hope the scans turn out okay for you Jo!
I know people find it hard to believe but I am not stressed about my second three month testing. I accept the fact that I live with cancer every day and at any point in time, it can start to grow once again. I will face whatever comes my way with the strength that God gives me daily. I'm doing well and if I am told that the cancer is growing, I will ask as I always do, "Where do I go from here?" I take life one day at a time and do as God says, "don't borrow trouble from tomorrow."
At times I feel like I'm living in three month increments. When the scans are good, I know I can relax for a while. When it's not so good, I break down for a while, until I get my head wrapped around the report and the new chemo, new meds, new tests. I've lived this way for three years now, so you would think I'd be used to it by now. Luckily, I have a strong support system. My husband and children get me through the down times. I am blessed.
I know exactly how you feel. I've been living in three-month increments for over 8 yrs and while I'm totally grateful for this gift of time, it weighs heavily. I live by diversions. It's far from denial, but I can't go on day after day with cancer consuming my every thought and moment so I do whatever I can to keep my mind busy ... and diverted.
It is my belief that the pure human response you are having is completely understandable (although miserable). We all have "lapses" in our courage and strength. I think that is just as it should be; it gives us time to process our raw feelings...we have to admit our deepest fears in order to decide how to live through them.
Be patient with yourself here, Jo. You have given much to many in this community and I am sure elsewhere. You deserve time to pull into yourself, ponder where you are, and love yourself through this difficult time. You have done it so often before, you'll do it again. Trust your instincts, settle into your deepest soul-self, and when you are ready, the strength will come because you have, once again, found you.
There is no rushing our spiritual strength, it needs to look hard at something in order to decide how to go forward.
Virtual hugs,
Ftb_peggy I thank you for caringand what youv'e said,I only hope I will be ever to be afraid. but the . thank you peggy and and the others for I need.I get my ctscan sixth of sept. takes another week before I see oncologist. I know you have to wait but it dosn't help with when you want to find out if its come back. your right I need some time. thank you I needed what you said. I have tryed to help others. so thank you.
Thank you for sharing your schedule, I was wondering about the timing. The waiting is so very hard, I am sorry.
Maybe you can use this pocket of time to gather your thoughts and just breathe; a time to focus on you.
Again, be patient with yourself - there is no right way to do this. Or, I should say, the only right way to do this is by being just who you are, feeling what you feel and knowing that is ok.
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