Get over it

[Kulta]

Im desperately trying to find a retort to this - google not helping. I'm crying tonight - 16 months on from ICU discharge and i continue to be in an equally hard psychological battle - and my nearest and dearest tells me to get over it.

[Hidden]

Hi. Recovery from ICU can be a very unique journey. I am really sorry to hear you are still experiencing problems - this is far from unusual though and the psychological effect - for both patients and families - can last longer than the physical effects. You could both try talking to your ICU about this or alternatively your GP. You will get over this - but it can take a longer than 1.5 years - good luck with this.

[Ns2kjs]

I too am sorry you are experiencing such psychological trauma, unfortunately it is very common however as it is common there are strategies to improve this for you out there. Having someone to talk to who wasn't involved in your personal situation would be ideal as there is no bias or intention Etc. I agree with the previous comments, making an alloted time with your local ICU to talk to a nurse or doctor would be definitely beneficial and I feel you would get a lot from it.

On a positive note, you have survived a massive event in your life and should be proud of yourself for this especially at this time of year! Continue to see the positive side of being 'free' and each and every day do something that is purely for you, even if it is taking a bath for an hour, go out for some fresh air alone etc. and take care x

[Luckyone]

The psychological effect of being in ICU and so close to death is something we are never prepared for, I was told by a family member to "move on and put it behind you" as if it was a routine stay in hospital, I believe we all move on but it can take a long time, have you thought about joining a support group? I found talking to other people that have been through a similar experience are more understanding and never judge you, a counselor can also be a great help as I think we feel guilty of what we have put our loved ones through, my counselor made me realize I could not have stopped what happened to me and I shouldn't feel guilty.

Good luck for the future and I'm sure with the right support you'll get there, we are all "lucky ones to survive" it's the positive thought I have when feeling down. Best Wishes

[LucyT]

Hi, I just wanted to try and put your mind at rest by saying you are not on your own. I came out of ITU almost 5 years ago and I am still getting flashbacks and anxiety attacks. I am seeing a Consultant Psychiatrist as I was diagnosed with PTSD. Some of my closest said the same about moving on and getting over it but it's easier said than done. Definitely ask for help, talking to someone who doesn't judge I have found amazing. I was also told to write down my time in ITU which also helped especially when I let people read it, they then understood more about what I was going through. Good luck and I hope you find some comfort in what I have said.

[ICUsteps-Dawn ICUsteps]

I am 14 years on from my expereince and still have some psychological impact of what I went through, though it is in my control now and what I think it is also important to let you know is that some of the psychological impact is positive. It took time but I now value life, live every day as if it may be my last, throw myself at every opportunity and look in the mirror and thank those amazing people who saved me that I am here to see the grey hairs, laughter lines (and I do now laugh) and things drooping - I've just turned 40 and all my friends are worried about ageing and all I can say is bring it on! Your family experienced a different journey and for them the relief that you lived and came home is where they begin to move on, your release from ICU is as if your journey of recovery is just beginning. It is hard for either you or your relatives to understand the others journey. If you need to cry then cry, find a person that you can talk to, there will be someone. See your GP, be forceful about your need for support, go back to your ICU, write to this forum, see if there are any ICUSteps support groups near you, there are also private counsellors if that is something you might be able to access. You will learn to navigate this because you are a strong person, you are a survivor. You will be in my thoughts and so know that you are not alone and that there are people out there who don't expect you to get over it. Be proud of how far you have come.

[nurseeducatorcritcare]

What you are experiencing is totally normal. You have survived a near death experience and there is no wonder it has shaken your whole world. As others have said you are brave and strong (even if you might not feel like it!) to have survived. How you feel is very important and you are entitled to help as detailed in the other responses. Other things which may help would be to write down a timeline of what happened from your ICU admission to now so you can see how much progress you have made. Also set yourself small goals for the future to work towards. Remember to praise yourself lots you are doing well you have got home from hospital and you are moving forwards even if you drift backwards a bit at times and it might not be a fast as you would wish but you can get there you just need a bit of a leg up along the way. Well done for all that you have achieved so far.

[Kulta]

Thank you all for wise words, advice,encouragement and support. I have tried all the counselling - Talking Therapies, CBT, PTSD - and go to ICU support groups when I can. I have been to follow up clinics and saw my GP regularly thank you so I do have an abundance of support along with Sertraline which prevents the intrusive thoughts....unless I have had too much to drink...Sometimes, it's just good to talk to someone - this forum - that will listen on the bumpy parts but sometimes, I want people that know me to know that whilst I do not look sick, I still struggle every now and then. On the good days, I appreciate life, any weather and will try pretty much anything; my surgical scars are a battle won but I guess I just have to hurry up and wait for the psychological ones to fade too.

I did find a retort to the 'get over it/deal with it' in the end:

I do not look sick and you do not look stupid. Looks can be deceiving.

Ouch!

[Mike-N]

I know what you feel like, boy do I know. When a Christian curses God for letting him survive you can see what I mean. The nightmares continue, but it does not help that I have had a few more heart attacks since and been back in hospital 4 times since the ICU 7 months ago.

It's early days I suppose and my great hope is that like others on this community I too will survive mental trauma.

Good luck.

Mike