My personal experience in ICU

One day I woke-up hearing my husband saying I think she's coming round now. I had this thing in my mouth that was making me retch. So I decided to take this out & I hear a voice saying ''Let me do it Sylvia'' and another voice saying ''Do you know who I am''. I am thinking of course I know who you are, you are my, (Why are you wearing a Jumper with a green parrot on it), idiot husband.

Am I dreaming? No I am awake & this is not my bedroom. What the hell is going on? I look around & I see machinery, nurses, doctors, other people all strangers & my husband Ken. I was told that I am in intensive care, that I have been seriously ill & that I am going to be OK. What the hell's going on? I have no memory since going to bed, whenever that was.

I laid there stunned , trying to take this all in whilst looking around. During this time I was holding Ken's hand tightly, like a security blanket as he is the one constant I have at the moment. There was a nurse typing away on a machine at the end of the bed, and there is Ken sitting beside me trying to reassure me that everything is alright. Nothing is sinking in. I must have gone to sleep because the next memory I have is that Ken was gone. I can remember looking around still wondering why I was there, what happened, how did I get to hospital.

I remember being fascinated at what I was seeing as I had not seen anything like it before. This is Intensive Care. It's full of nurses, doctors, beeping machines & others coming & going. I dozed often. I have a memory of Ken one side of me, my sister on the other side. I can remember the pair of them laughing & I also remember my sister blessing me, (She is a devout christian, and I felt she needed to do this.) My next memory is seeing my two girls coming towards me & they are smiling. They sat either side of me. I held their hands not wanting to let go.

How long was I in ITU I have no idea as one day was very much like another. Did it rain? Was the sun shining? I don't know. All I knew for sure was when it was night or day.

I was moved to Gardner Ward, stayed there for a few hours, then moved to Wellington Ward. I only stayed there for one night. I developed breathing problems and ended up back in ITU. I had needles put in the right side of my neck, and a mask over my face. I was put under again, how long for I have no idea.

This time when I woke up I knew where I was, and why I was there. Nice feeling. This time I was in ITU longer for whatever reason, but the routine was the same. Unfortunately during this time three people died. Each time the staff would not let them go & only gave up after at least an hour. I saw my husband (my hero) every day. We didn't always talk, I was just happy to be alive and able to hold his hand. I remember saying to Ken ''When I get out of here I think that I need to get my eyes checked as I am having trouble seeing''. Ken replied, ''Try putting your glasses on''. Up to that point I had completely forgotten that I wore glasses.

Seeing my girls (they'll kill me for calling them that as they are in their, well lets just say they won't see thirty again. Boy do I feel old.) and holding them, talking to them. I think I was doing most of the talking, and talking twaddle as well I expect.

My total time in Hospital was just over a month

3 Replies

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  • with you being in ITU/ Hospitol so long did you get an ICON form to fill in over the next 12 months or so.

  • No, I was not issued with any form although I recently had a 6 month assessment by staff from ICU

  • Hi Lacemaker,

    I was in ICU at the Conquest nearly 2 years ago, I spent 72 days in ITU and 16 days in HDU the first 53 days are missing from my memory completely, I remember the all the staff wishing me to survive and how they looked after my wife through all the traumatic days when things were not looking good, they are such special people to me.

    I am a founder member of the local support group, your husband Ken has joined us on Facebook and we look forward to you joining us at our next meeting, it's good to chat to patients & relatives that have been through the trauma of ICU as they are the ones that really understand how hard it can be.

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